Touch
by twicebornbacchus
Summary: AU: When Rikuo bought his first slave, he hoped to fulfill his fantasies; instead, he discovered Kakei had cheated him. Not only was Kazahaya completely inexperienced, he also had a unique talent that would make life difficult - and tempting - for Rikuo.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: A Legal Drug fic to celebrate the return of Rikuo and Kazahaya in **_**Young Ace Magazine **_**after eight long years of hiatus! I'll kick-off today with two chapters and post one every day after that (17 total. It's a smutfest). Small note: Kei/Tsukiko won't be in this. Enjoy! **

Rikuo couldn't focus.

It had been three weeks of _constant _focus and concentration accompanied by a bull-headed drive to get his life in order. His father had passed away after a slow decline that, Rikuo was fairly certain, the old man had dragged out on purpose to make him miserable. Finally, after the last nail had sealed his coffin, Rikuo inherited a sprawling estate and lands bolstered by a small fortune…a good two weeks on horseback away.

And so, after years of a quiet life in the outer circles of nobility, tucked away in a small room in a smaller wing of the massive palace grounds, Rikuo found court life wrenched away from him. Responsibility had, with the passing of a dying man's last breath, become his new bed partner, an inescapable fate that he found as loathsome as he found the youth down in the commons captivating…

"Are you listening to me?" Saiga was sitting across him, reclining with the air of a man who had never known haste.

"Yes," he lied. His eyes flicked back to Saiga's dark, stained glasses, feigning attention. Saiga continued with the one-sided conversation, and Rikuo let his eyes slide back over the banister, down below…

As large as the commons was, Rikuo considered it good fortune that the youth was standing in the perfect spot for Rikuo to stare at him. Ladies, servants, footmen, grimy kitchen staff, a lordling or two – scores of them were moving about below, occasionally glancing up at the second floor, where cushioned sofas and armchairs sat. Anyone of any importance – and even people of none at all – had to pass through the commons to move onward toward the court, the gardens, the palace proper, or likewise, the stables, the kitchens, the baths. It was the place to see the comings and goings of anyone who called the court their home, and Rikuo found himself marveling, disbelieving his own behavior, that amid all that bustle, his eyes had found the boy.

He wasn't particularly tall, judging from the height of those around him – average. Certainly shorter than himself…tall enough to comfortably slip an arm around his waist, or pull his face up to slide his tongue inside the boy's mouth, or tall enough to hoist up and –

"You sure you're listening to me?"

Rikuo's reply was automatic. "Of course I'm listening to you."

His hair was unusual…longer and more feminine on the right side, with strands coming down as far as his chin, but short and boyish on the other, as if one day he couldn't decide which one he preferred and decided to have the best of both worlds. _Is he blonde? No…_Rikuo squinted; his hair was a delicate brown, like the bark of a dried ash tree. He was standing still, tapping his feet, crossing his arms over his chest, uncrossing them, huffing – Rikuo smirked. Whoever he was, he was growing impatient…

"_Kakei_?"

"Kakei?" Saiga sat up straighter, following Rikuo's gaze down below. His business partner was strolling across the commons, dressed in flashy white. He was attracting quite a number of stares…_which I suppose is what he wants, _Rikuo thought. After all, it was good for the business.

His blood quickened; Kakei had stopped and was talking to the boy familiarly, and the boy was nodding and smiling back.

"_Kakei!" _

Both faces turned to glance up at the second level; Rikuo's heart froze as the youth turned his face up to stare at them. Saiga waved, and the two nodded, moving toward the stairs.

Rikuo turned to Saiga, his mind a shattered mess of thoughts. He was supposed to be asking Saiga for legal advice to settle his father's estate, but, instead found himself…_distracted_.

"That boy." He knew he failed at sounding casual the moment he saw Saiga grin. "How does Kakei know him?"

"Kazahaya?" Saiga seemed surprised. "How long have I known you, Rikuo?"

"Four years." It had been four years ago that Rikuo had met Saiga and struck up a strange friendship with him and his partner Kakei…even stranger, considering the sort of business they ran…

"And you never met Kazahaya?" Saiga shrugged. "I guess that makes sense. We hardly bring him with us. Well, you know how people send us their pets?"

Rikuo's brow raised, curious as to where this was going. Yes, he knew what Kakei and Saiga did for a living: people sent slaves to them for training in sexual matters. Boys, girls, men, women – "pets" was how Saiga euphemistically referred to them.

Rikuo nodded. As a young business man himself, he'd had dealings with Saiga and Kakei – but never of that nature. He knew that people found his association with the pair, given his single status, _odd. _At best.

"Well, Kazahaya is our personal slave."

Rikuo's eyes widened. "Oh," he managed; the fantasy from earlier surged back into his mind.

Saiga laughed. "I think you've got the wrong idea, let me explain –"

"Hello, Rikuo – it's good to see you again."

Kakei and the boy were approaching them. The older man inclined his head graciously, smiling his ever-present, all-knowing smile. "Saiga, have you been boring him to death?"

"I've been going over some legal matters. Rikuo just became rich. Too bad, though – he'll have to leave the court in a few weeks to go take up residence in his new, fancy home."

Kakei smiled. "Well, with all that money, do let us know if you'd ever like to do business."

Rikuo didn't hear them; his eyes were fixed on the boy – _Kazahaya, _he thought – standing next to Kakei. Only now could he see the silver cuff around his wrist, but the features he had observed before had been thrown into sharp relief, more enticing in person.

Rikuo could feel himself burning.

He wanted him.

Kazahaya shifted uncomfortably on his feet. He was staring back at Rikuo, politely at first, but his face fell. Saiga and Kakei both stood, waiting for Rikuo to speak, but finally, annoyed, the brunette spoke up.

"What are you looking at?"

Rikuo was taken aback by his brazen attitude; slaves didn't typically address people who weren't their owners, and if they did, they did it with utmost politeness…but Kazahaya was _glaring _at him. He felt a familiar stiffness in his pants and crossed his legs nonchalantly, looking to Kakei for a formal introduction.

Kakei only laughed. "Rikuo, this is Kazahaya. Kazahaya, Rikuo. Would you mind taking care of what we discussed earlier…?"

Kazahaya nodded, and with an about-face-turn on his heel, strode away. Before Kakei had even sat down next to Saiga, Rikuo had made up his mind.

"How much for him?"

"For _him_?" Kakei laughed. "You just met him. And what makes you think he's for sale?"

"Saiga said he's your personal slave. All slaves are for sale."

"Well, your logic is certainly faultless, but…my, this is a bit sudden." But Kakei was a business man; Rikuo watched him settle back as Saiga slipped an arm around his shoulders. Underneath his blonde hair, Kakei's eyes were glinting, adding up numbers.

"I don't think you'd want him."

_This is a game. He's going to try and get you desperate._

_You're already desperate, _he reprimanded himself. _You just came into money – now you're ready to throw it away?_

"I've made up my mind. How much?"

"Hm." Kakei had grown seriously thoughtful. "Saiga, what do you think?"

"I think Kazahaya will be _pissed off _if you sell him on a whim." He laughed. "Yea, trust me, Rikuo – you'll have better luck with a bag of angry cats than Kazahaya."

Rikuo kept his eyes on Kakei; if a decision was going to be made, he would be the one to make it. The smaller man was quiet, considering.

"Why do you want Kazahaya?"

"Does it matter?" His face colored involuntarily. He cursed himself; he had blushed less than a handful of times in his life – did he have to do it _now? _And in front of Saiga, _Saiga _who _never _missed _anything?_

"_Oh._" Saiga laughed louder now; he seemed to find the whole thing amusing. Kakei grinned wickedly. "Did Saiga say a _bag _full of angry cats? If _that's _the case…then I think we should up that to a _house _full of angry cats…with an added infestation of hornets…who do not like you."

Rikuo frowned. If Kazahaya was as difficult as they said he was…why keep him? After all, Kakei had a reputation for being a sadist…in the most literal way possible. He'd heard stories about Kakei that he had a hard time believing…and disbelieving, all the same. Rikuo was intrigued: if Saiga and Kakei worked with sex slaves, then surely the person they chose as _their _personal 'pet' must be…_exquisite, _he thought, picturing the boy's angular face, his hair…

"I'll take my chances."

"Well said!" Kakei smiled. "But he's not for sale."

"Name your price."

"That's a dangerous move, kid." Saiga grinned at him. "Especially now that Kakei knows you've come into some money."

"Yes, let's talk about that." Kakei beamed.

Twenty minutes later, Kakei had settled on a sum that Rikuo thought the man had devised to scare him off: forty percent of the estate settlement, five figures. It was the way that Kakei negotiated that enflamed him; Kakei didn't bargain like a man trying to screw him out of his money. On the contrary, he acted like someone who knew he had something very, very rare…and was uneasy to part with it. _Maybe it's an act, _he thought, which would explain why he was such a successful businessman – but all the same, the stiffness in his pants increased at the thought of squandering the money of a man he hated for the _personal _slave of the two most successful slave traders in the court. His days had become a monotonous battle against numbers and figures – he hoped that, from now on, his nights would be restless.

"Forty percent. Fine."

"You're serious about this?" Kakei was taken aback, but recovered quick enough. "And when do you want him?"

"When he comes back."

"Well." Kakei rose, smiling, and held out a hand. Rikuo shook with him. "I'd better go get paperwork drawn up. Saiga, please stay here until Kazahaya comes back…and don't tell him we've sold him. I should do it."

When Kakei was gone, Saiga turned to Rikuo. "He's going to be _pissed._"

"I don't care how he's going to be."

Saiga observed him levelly; he had stopped laughing. "There're some things you should know about Kazahaya. You didn't really ask Kakei anything about him – you just went into this single-mindedly and agreed to buy him. It's been less than a half hour since you saw him for the first time. I think you're crazy; you know that, right?"

Rikuo nodded. Saiga continued. "You know…you get off on the wrong foot, it only goes downhill. You've never owned a slave before." It wasn't a question; somehow, Saiga knew. Rikuo nodded again, impatient for Kakei to return. "I call them 'pets' when they come to us, because that's how we train them to be – but they're not. Not really. You can compromise with a pet; your dog is bad, you hit its nose…or maybe it did something bad, but it was sort of cute in a stupid-dog way, so you give it a treat. You can never compromise with a slave. Ever. _Especially _Kazahaya…"

"Oh?"

"He's completely intractable, for starters. Stubborn. Loud. His _yelling…_" Rikuo flushed; he was looking forward to hearing that yelling later that evening… "Did I say yelling? I meant _yowling. _He can get going, and it's just like listening to a cat being drowned."

"And you and Kakei permitted that kind of behavior?"

Saiga chuckled like a man who knew a secret he wasn't going to let Rikuo in on. "Well…Kazahaya's worth it."

Rikuo leaned forward.

"See, Kazahaya is…special. _Special, _yep, that's a good word for it…he can do things other people can't…"

His cock was pressing uncomfortably against his pants now.

"Right, well, I guess I should just tell you. The thing is, Kazahaya, when he touches –"

"Here we are." Kakei had returned with the paperwork; Rikuo sighed with relief to feel the blood flow away from his groin and back into his head.

When they had finished signing, Kakei turned to his partner. "Did you tell him everything he needs to know about Kazahaya?"

"You bet." He rested his hands behind his head. "And speak of the devil…"

Kazahaya came walking up to them; he was panting. Rikuo closed his eyes and indulged in just the sound of the boy's labored breath for a minute before Kakei spoke up.

"Kazahaya, sit down."

"Okay." The boy drew up a chair and handed Kakei a sealed envelope. "That's what you wanted?"

"Yes." He slipped it into his jacket. "Saiga and I have something important to tell you." Kazahaya sat, blinking. "Hm, this is sort of difficult to say…"

"We sold you."

"_Saiga, _I said that _I _would be the one –"

"_You WHAT?"_

Saiga had been spot on: Kazahaya didn't _yell. _He _yowled. _He jumped up in indignation, the chair falling backward.

"I wanted to phrase it more _delicately._" Kakei was glaring at Saiga venomously. "Rikuo here is to be your new master. We've already done the paperwork."

Kazahaya's fiery gaze, hot and filled with hatred, fell on him. "_Him? _W-when!"

"Now."

"You're _kidding _me!"

"Please, calm down. You're making a scene."

_I can't believe he _asked _him to calm down. _Rikuo watched the boy coolly; he was going to need a lot of discipline. Rikuo wasn't accustomed to _asking _anything.

"Your hand, Kazahaya."

The boy had a numb expression as he held out his right arm, as though he couldn't believe what was happening. Kakei rose and withdrew a small key from inside his jacket, slipping into a lock on the underside. With a 'click,' it fell away, and skin that hadn't seen sunlight in years, far more pale than the rest of him, was visible. Kazahaya stared at his white wrist, as if he couldn't process what was happening.

"But…Kakei…" _He sounds like a child, _Rikuo thought, annoyed. "You…this is for real. You're serious."

Kakei nodded. "I am. Saiga and I are leaving tonight. Your trunk of clothes is still in the room; we'll let Rikuo get those for you."

"So…that's it, then? After all this time?" He stood, his shoulders sagging with the weight of betrayal.

Saiga stood up; he was a towering man, with broad shoulders encased in a dark cloak. He embraced the boy, crushing him. "Oh, I'm sure we'll see you around. Hopefully Rikuo will let us borrow you from time to time – eh, Rikuo?"

"I wouldn't count on it." He tried to hide the annoyance in his voice; he didn't like seeing Kazahaya in Saiga's embrace. Saiga let go, shrugging, and Kakei rose.

"Kazahaya…don't look so sad."

"I'm not sad. I'm _angry._" His eyes were burning again.

"I know. I would be, too. But, try to make the most of this. We'll see you again before too long."

And with that, they took their leave.

* * *

><p>It was sundown by the time Kakei and Saiga had settled into their carriage, beginning their journey. Kakei leaned into Saiga's arms, grumpy.<p>

"You didn't tell Rikuo about Kazahaya at all, did you?"

"A little. I mentioned how stubborn he was."

"But did you remember to tell Rikuo what we use Kazahaya for?"

"Hm, let me think." Saiga appeared mock-thoughtful. "Nope."

"More importantly, did you remember to tell Rikuo what we _don't _use Kazahaya for?"

A grin. "That one completely slipped my mind, too."

Kakei tried to frown, but his mouth forced itself into a smile. "That could be bad for our little Kaza. Rikuo gave me the distinct impression of a man working from a…shall we say…_misunderstanding_."

"Yea. You know, I think he wants to fuck the kid pretty badly."

Kakei laughed. "Then I've cheated him out of his money. If that's all he wanted, I could have offered him five slaves for half that price…"

"Well, maybe he'll get his money's worth in the end." Saiga slipped his arm around Kakei's back and pulled him in closer.

"Knowing Kazahaya, I am inclined to _highly _doubt it."

"Knowing Rikuo," Saiga said, "I'm not so sure."


	2. Chapter 2

Kazahaya followed behind his new master in silence, trying to pay attention to where they were going and memorize the court grounds. He'd been there before, but only once, and briefly: everything was too sprawling, and his mind was reeling. He couldn't keep track of anything. Hallways led off to more hallways; drawing rooms where people drowned in smoke would suddenly open up…and all the while, his mind kept reminding him of how he'd been betrayed.

They had left the larger court grounds and passed outside into another, smaller wing where the lesser courtiers kept their quarters. He moved up stairs, down a dark hallway hanging with tapestries, and finally passed through an antechamber and into what he assumed was Rikuo's quarters.

"Sit. I'll be back."

As there was only one armchair against the far wall, he didn't have to ask where. Wearily, he sat and took in his surroundings, trying to discern the personality of his new keeper by his belongings. A tall, four-poster bed, and judging by the color, a hard oak: sturdy. A matching dresser, bare on the top spare a mirror, six drawers in all. At the other end, a wardrobe, shut, and the chair he was in…

_He probably doesn't spend a lot of time here. Or maybe he's just not into possessions?_

_Well, he bought you! _His own thoughts raged back at him.

_I'M not a possession!_

_That's what you think. To him you are! _

He sat fuming for more than an hour before the man finally returned. He walked in, dark hair cropped short, with even darker eyes staring at him intently as the door shut behind him.

Kazahaya sat in the chair, his hands between his legs, glowering at the man in front of him. He couldn't believe that Kakei (_and Saiga, too, _he thought bitterly) could just get rid of him like that – after all, they _needed _him. Or so he had thought.

"I have something for you." The man's voice was deep and low, like the sound of an animal growling.

"Yea, I know," he huffed. He held out his arm where Kakei's bracelet had previously been. It had felt good to finally have it off, after years, if only for an hour or so.

Rikuo walked up to him, carrying something. He ignored Kazahaya's outstretched hand and leaned down, slipping something around his neck. He squawked in surprise as the collar clicked around his throat with a snap, shivering at the way the bigger man's fingers lingered on the back of his neck as he locked it into place.

"Take a look."

Before Rikuo had even said it, Kazahaya had leapt to his feet, pushing past him. He gawked at himself in the mirror; the collar was about an inch thick in width, a shimmering silver with a circular loop hanging off in the center. His heart beat fast to feel something tight around his throat; just a hair tighter, and it would have choked him. As it was, he could only get the tip of his pinky finger under the edge.

"It's _tight_!" He complained. He whirled around, glaring. "You can't be serious. Kakei only made me wear a bracelet. This is ridiculous!"

There was something endearing about Kazahaya's caterwauling, Rikuo thought, advancing on the boy. He reached out, slipping a single finger through the silver loop, and jerked him forward. Kazahaya stumbled toward him in surprise, teetering. Rikuo chuckled; he continued to grip the boy by the throat with one hand, tilting his face up to gaze into his eyes with the other.

"It looks good on you," he said. "I like it."

"I _don't_!" To Rikuo's surprise, Kazahaya managed to free himself, jerking back out of his grip. Rikuo crossed his arms over his chest, smirking. Kakei had certainly picked a fiery one. He could feel himself harden as he stared at the boy. He wanted to reach out and touch his hair, to marvel at its color and explore his body with his tongue and hands…

"Take off your clothes."

Kazahaya looked at him as if he had just spoken another language. "_Excuse _me?" His voice had gotten slightly higher.

Rikuo felt his blood quicken at the boy's coyness. "You heard me. Do as you're told." He wasn't used to ordering people around; in his head, he saw Saiga grinning at him, and remembered his words: _You've never owned a slave before. _

Kazahaya's face flushed a bright red. "I will _not_." His voice was furious with indignation. "Kakei _never _asked me to – to t-take my clothes off!"

His words broke through Rikuo's fantasies on a number of levels. "What do you mean, Kakei never –" he began, but stopped, suddenly angry. "I'm not _asking _you," he snapped, "I'm _ordering _you."

"And I'm _telling _you, there's no way I'm doing that!"

"You're a slave," he snapped. "You'll do as you're told."

"Or what?" Even straightening to his full height, Kazahaya only came up to his chest. "You'll _make _me? Forget it, Rikuo! There's _no way _–ah!"

Rikuo had crossed the room and pushed him roughly up against the wall. So Saiga was right, after all; _you get off on the wrong foot, it only goes downhill, _the older man had warned. He needed to make Kazahaya understand his place if he was going to control his new slave.

Kazahaya's hands came up swiftly, shoving at him. Rikuo grabbed him by the wrists and pinned his arms above his head, watching as the boy's furious glare shifted into alarm.

"When I tell you to do something, you _do it_." He gripped Kazahaya's wrists tighter, watching as the boy winced. "And you do _not _call me Rikuo. You don't get to say my name without my permission. You call me _master_."

"Kakei _never_ made me call him –"

He slammed the boy against the wall.

It was odd how quickly a new feeling rushed up in him, something cold and unpleasant. It was as if, suddenly, something inside Rikuo had coiled in his gut. _You just need to get used to this, _he told himself. _It has to be this way between you and him. _"Do you understand me?" He repeated more forcibly, pressing himself tightly against him, his grip tightening until the boy cried out. He felt like a bad actor; he'd never harmed someone before.

Kazahaya looked up at him, brown eyes swimming in confusion and fear. "N-no," he gasped. "I don't understand – w-what do you _want_ from me?"

Rikuo smiled. He shifted the boy's wrists into a single grip, tracing his jaw line with his fingertips, admiring the way the collar gleamed on that slender neck. Kazahaya's ears flushed red at his touch, but his skin seemed to recoil from him.

"Whatever I want, you'll give, or do," he said. "Do you understand?"

"I…I don't…"

The boy's face had turned a vivid scarlet; he looked cute, so bashful and coy. Rikuo kissed his neck, delighting in the yelp of surprise that sounded near his ear. He pushed his leg forward, kneeing between the boy's thighs, forcing his legs apart –

"_Rikuo, stop!_"

Rikuo bit him, hard, on the exposed flesh near the base of his neck. The skin broke, accompanied by a soft cry, and a tiny upwelling of blood. "You're not a fast learner, huh?" He growled. "Usually Kakei's subjects aren't like that – no wonder he was willing to get rid of you. You're _stubborn_."

Kazahaya whimpered.

The sound brought him to his senses. Rikuo pulled upward, staring into his slave's face. Kazahaya's eyes had filled with tears; he was blinking furiously to hold them back even as his chest rose and fell with the effort to catch his breath.

"Come on," Rikuo tried, his confidence faltering. Even as he heard Saiga say _you can never compromise with a slave_, he still spoke. "Just make this easy. I could be…I could be good to you. You miss Kakei, don't you?" He brushed away a tear that spilled out from a brown eye, frowning at the way the boy flinched at his touch, wreathing beneath him. "Tell me – how did Kakei please you?"

The boy took a shuddering breath. "K-Kakei never…never _pleased _me…I don't know what you're talking about…m-master," he finished, shrinking even further back against the wall.

Rikuo stared at him, puzzled. "But you're a sex slave."

He hadn't thought it was possible for Kazahaya to flush a brighter shade of red; he was wrong. The boy gaped at him, shocked. When he spoke, his voice broke with alarm. "_N-no!_" He shook his head; Rikuo watched the silky way his hair moved and felt the boy begin to tremble. "I-I was _not…am _not…" His eyes were pleading for understanding.

Rikuo's stomach turned over as he watched Kazahaya realize what Rikuo was after. The boy was looking at him, begging with him wordlessly, to let him go. Of course he was being coy – of course he was surprised. No wonder Saiga had laughed, and Kakei smiled – Rikuo had only seen what he wanted to see, and not believed the truth. _And got cheated, you son of a bitch, Kakei…_

"Please…master…" Kazahaya whispered the words, shrinking away from him, shamed. "Please…don't…I'm not that…I've never…"

Rikuo pulled away in disgust, abruptly letting him go. Kazahaya sank to his feet. Rikuo watched at the boy began to put himself back together, furiously wiping at his eyes, his chest heaving as he fought to slow his breathing.

Rikuo leaned back against a bedpost. "So," he said finally, breaking the silence between them. "Here we are, then."

Kazahaya drew himself shakily to his feet. "You should contact Kakei. So you can get someone more suited for…for your needs. Or your money back."

A dark eyebrow rose. "Are you suggesting to me what _I _should do? Slaves don't give _suggestions _to their masters."

Kazahaya's brow furrowed. "But you're – you're not seriously going to _keep _me?"

"_Keep _you? I _own _you."

Surprise flooded across his face. "But…" Kazahaya looked at him apprehensively, rubbing his wrists. "But you…and I…"

Rikuo tried to appear nonchalant, shrugging. He could take Kazahaya against his will, but he didn't have it in him to do that. Or at least, he liked to _think_ he didn't have it in him to do that; he remembered the sick way his stomach had turned over when he slammed the boy against the wall. It was an unspoken taboo among slave owners to move slaves outside their stations; you didn't pull someone in from the fields to fuck, just like you didn't move someone from your bed to the kitchen. "I won't use you for that."

"_That_?"

"Sex."

Kazahaya flushed again. "And…where will I sleep? _Master,_" he mumbled.

Rikuo smirked. "Well, I had planned for us to sleep here." He jerked his head at the bed.

"Sleep…together? _There_?"

"That's what I had planned."

"But Kakei gave me my own room!"

Rikuo stared at him in disbelief. "He really treated you like a real person, huh?" He had a sneaking suspicion Kakei had probably treated Kazahaya better than Kakei had ever treated _him_.

The boy looked as though he'd been slapped. "I _am _a real person," he hissed.

"You're a slave."

"That doesn't make me any less of a person! I wasn't born a slave! And I'm not getting into that bed with you – you _pervert!_"

Rikuo snorted and grabbed a pillow off the bed, tossing it at him. "Watch those insults, Kazahaya." He relished the way the name rolled off his tongue, like a purr, and the way a spark of alarm leapt up in the boy's eyes. "You can sleep on the floor. Goodnight."

* * *

><p>Rikuo woke up early, listening to the sound of breathing that wasn't his own. He slipped out of bed, gazing at the boy on the floor.<p>

Kazahaya had slept in his clothes; Rikuo wasn't surprised. The boy lay curled in a fetal position, his head resting on the pillow he had carelessly tossed at him. There was dried blood under his neck where he'd bit him.

His expression wasn't a peaceful one; instead, his eyes were shut tightly, a sheen of sweat visible on his forehead. _So are you a restless sleeper, Kazahaya, _Rikuo thought, _or are you dreaming about last night? _He knelt down and lifted a limp arm up, delicately stretching the hand and frowning at the rising purple bruises along the wrist; if the bruise was dark now, it would be practically black by midday. He hadn't realized how fragile the boy was.

Or that he was suddenly awake.

Kazahaya snatched his hand away, scrambling to sit up. Rikuo frowned at the way he scooted back against the bed, glaring at him apprehensively, but his eyes had a wild quality about them, as if he had been woken up out of an absorbing dream that he was still seeing.

"Kazahaya." Rikuo loved saying his name, savoring the power it brought him. "Tell your master 'good morning.'"

"Good morning…_master_," he huffed, rolling his eyes.

"Give me your hand." Brown eyes flashed with distrust. "Don't look at me like that – and stop moving away from me. When I want to touch you, you let me."

"…But not in that way?" The question was tentative, his eyes glancing furtively away.

"Don't _ever_ question me." His dark eyes bored into him. "And no, I already told you that. So you can relax."

Kazahaya held out his hand. Rikuou took it, turning the wrist over carefully, pressing two fingers down against the tender, bruised flesh. He felt a sudden, intense urge to bring it up to his lips and kiss him, to apologize…he shoved it away, reproaching himself. _You don't apologize to a slave, or act like you're sorry. That's asking for trouble. _He let the hand go, feigning indifference.

He wasn't sure if his ruse worked; Kazahaya drew his arm back toward him, his fingers itching at the collar around his neck, with a puzzled expression on his face, his eyes oddly…_vacant? No; _it had only lasted a second. The boy was looking at Rikuo as if he couldn't understand him.

"Do I really have to wear this?"

"I just told you to never question me. Do it again and I'll punish you."

"You'll do_ wh_…" Kazahaya stopped short, his eyes narrowing. Rikuo was staring at him levelly, but the boy fell silent.

"So I have some questions for you. For starters, what were you doing with Kakei and Saiga?"

Kazahaya settled back and resumed rubbing his wrist absent-mindedly. "There're certain skills I have that Kakei needed for his work."

"His _work?_"

"Yes, you know…reconnaissance, I guess you could call it."

"That's not what Kakei does."

Kazahaya looked smug. "Well, I don't know what he _pretends _to do, but that's what I did for him. Um," he glanced at Rikuo, curious. "Can I ask you a question?" Rikuo nodded. "What else does he do? I mean, that you know about."

Rikuo's eyes narrowed. "How could you not know? You were his slave. You must have been there to see –"

"Well, no." Kazahaya shrugged. "Actually, I was hardly ever there. I was usually traveling, out on work for him."

Rikuo tried to hide his surprise. "He just – let you _go _and do work for him?"

"Yes, all the time." Kazahaya brightened a bit. "I'd be gone, traveling for a few days, and get back and be right out the door again."

"You'd come back."

"Well, of course." He looked flustered. "Why wouldn't I come back to Kakei?" He flushed, the blood rushing to his cheeks. "I mean, that wasn't a question towards you – I meant that rhetorically."

Rikuo waved it away; why _would _Kazahaya try to run away from Kakei, if Kakei gave him his own room, treated him practically as an equal, and didn't involve him in his affairs…

"Kakei was a sex trader." He watched the way Kazahaya's eyes widened in surprise; it made him look cute, like a small screech owl. "He runs the business with Saiga. People send him sex slaves who need – let's see, how do I put it…?" He wanted to laugh; Kazahaya's face was burning with discomfort. _Kakei must have gone out of his way to shelter him_, he thought. "…Who need breaking in. Or molding. Like a pair of leather boots."

Kazahaya's eyes fell to the floor; a quiet voice spoke. "I didn't know that."

"That's why I thought, when I saw you…" Rikuo felt suddenly guilty, though he wasn't sure why. _Don't feel that way, _he snapped at himself. _He would have found out sooner or later. _He decided to change the subject. "And in all those travels, no ever tried to kidnap you?"

"Well, I had this –" Kazahaya lifted his hand up, but the cuff was gone. He smiled sheepishly, and Rikuo felt a strange pang in his stomach at the boy's cluelessness; _god damn it, Kazahaya, _he cursed in his head, _why do you have to be so fucking cute_. "_Had_, I guess. Kakei took it…" He sighed. "People, you know, they recognize that and see that I'm – well – I'm…" He seemed to have trouble saying it; his face colored an embarrassed pink. "I'm _owned_, and a lot of people are respectful of that. Some people aren't, but I'm quicker than those people." He grinned a little proudly, then faltered again. "Can I ask you another question?"

"You just did."

"That shouldn't count." He crossed his arms over his chest and glared.

Rikuo laughed, and without realizing he was doing it, reached over and ruffled his hair. Kazahaya grew tensely still; Rikuo pulled his hand away and settled back. "Ask away."

"Am I the first person you've ever owned?"

"Are you the first _slave_ I've ever owned?" He corrected him. Kazahaya frowned and looked away.

"Yes…that's what I meant."

"What would make you ask that?"

"…I just figured that was the case."

"_Why?_"

"It's hard to say why, exactly. I have a…knack for this kind of thing."

"Is your special 'knack' part of the reason I had to pay an enormous sum to buy you off Kakei?"

"At least he didn't let me go for cheap," he muttered.

"I can't hear you when you talk to your chest." He leaned forward and lifted Kazahaya's face with his fingertips until their eyes stared into one another's.

"Yea," he squeaked.

Rikuo let go. "So tell me. What's so special about my new slave that it took forty percent of all I own to get him?"

"Kakei…Kakei didn't even _tell _you?"

"Surely you're not questioning me, Kazahaya?" The boy shook his head. "Kakei really spoiled you…or maybe you're just a really slow learner. No, he didn't tell me. _You _tell me."

Kazahaya was suddenly shy. "It's nothing, really."

"Oh, I'm sure it's _something_."

"Well…" He looked down at the floor, up at the ceiling, at the dresser, everywhere, his eyes roaming around in search of an answer. _He's bluffing, _Rikuo thought, amused. _Kakei cheated me, alright. Son of a bitch…_

Rikuo rose just as Kazahaya opened his mouth to speak. "You keep thinking. I have business to attend to; I'll be back."

His slave was silent, his face resolutely staring down at the floor as Rikuo changed his clothes. He didn't look up until the door had shut.

Alone, Kazahaya shivered.


	3. Chapter 3

Kazahaya leaned against the bedpost, puzzling at his dream – _not a dream, _he thought. He had been walking through the gardens of a vast estate, toward a house – _a mansion _– that towered in the distance. Everything was beautiful; it was spring, and the world was flowering with life…but he felt so bitter and lonely. This place wasn't home. Inside the estate lingered the smell of decay, of life passing away so slowly that it crawled along, trailing its sadness everywhere….

And he had to come to this place. Maybe he could sell it? That would be the smartest thing to do. Sell the whole place, once everything was in his name, once all of the loose ends were taken care of, and go back to court, rent bigger quarters…

No, but the gardens…the gardens were easy to get lost in. He would keep it, just for them…

…But no, none of that was _his _feelings, Kazahaya thought. He looked down at the pillow he had slept on; were these the thoughts that occupied Rikuo's mind lately? He frowned; he had felt something strange when the man had touched him, ruffling his hair, just the shortest spark of some emotion. Perhaps it was strange because it was so different from what he had been expecting…_what was I expecting? _He reached up, his fingers lingering on the silver collar. _And what was it that I felt…?_

_Forget it, _he thought suddenly, clearing his head. _Okay. He said he'd be back. Just sit here and wait…and don't touch anything. _He blanched at the thought of any more of Rikuo's memories or emotions creeping into his mind. The memories from the pillow weren't so bad – true, they were accompanied by a horrible sense of dread, but the gardens where he went walking were peaceful…

_Where RIKUO went walking, you idiot, _he reminded himself, and sat quietly, waiting for his new owner to return.

* * *

><p>It was late into the night when Rikuo came back unceremoniously, tossing his overcoat onto to the bed without so much as a "Hello," and began to strip his clothes off. Kazahaya started and turned away, waiting for him to finish. He listened to the sound of blankets being drawn back and thought it safe to turn around.<p>

Rikuo had climbed into bed, stretching his limbs out. Their eyes met; Kazahaya was staring at him expectantly.

"Well? What is it?"

"I was wondering…m-master," he stammered out, blushing, "…If you brought me back something to eat?"

"Eat?" Rikuo blinked. It was well past mid-evening, completely dark outside. "No. Did you get dinner?"

"No, I stayed here."

"You stayed here," he repeated, wondering. "Since…?"

"Since this morning." Kazahaya looked at him as if the answer was painfully obvious. "You didn't say I could leave."

"What did you _do_?"

"I…I took a nap," he confessed. "I hope that was okay. I mean, it's not like I had anything else to do –"

"Didn't you need to relieve yourself at some point?"

His face colored. "I haven't had anything to eat or drink since before you bought me, so I haven't needed to, and…"

Rikuo felt guilt wash over him. He shifted uncomfortably in bed. "Can you wait until morning? The kitchens are closed."

His shoulders slumped. "Yes, master."

"Then...what else?" Two brown eyes were still looking at him expectantly.

"…I was wondering, also, if maybe…you had brought me some clothes to change into?"  
>Rikuo felt another stab of guilt and wondered, briefly, if he should get used to feeling that way. "No, I didn't…Kakei said he left you a trunk of your clothes. I forgot to get them."<p>

"Oh." Kazahaya looked utterly dejected. Rikuo watched as he turned away, sinking to the ground. He'd forgotten to bring him food, water, his clothes…_he probably thinks I don't give a shit about him. _

"Goodnight, master," came a wearied voice from the floor.

He tried his best to hide how uncomfortable he was, to sound completely nonplussed, or concerned, or even aware of his own callousness. "Goodnight, Kazahaya," he muttered, and fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

><p>Rikuo stood over the sleeping boy, gazing down at him. It was early; Kazahaya was curled up on the floor, his knees pulled up tightly to his chest, wrapped in a blanket of only his arms. He stared at the boy's hair, longer on the right side, and knelt down quietly. His fingers lifted a few strands away; they fell back, soft as feathers, against his face. <em>So I'm an asshole, <em>he thought. _Fine. I'm not used to thinking about someone else…but I won't apologize. He'll get used to this._

Kazahaya stirred, mumbling something. Rikuo chuckled and traced a finger down his neck, down to the gleaming collar, up, around his thin throat, across his lips –

The boy shifted, waking. Rikuo rose and stepped back.

"It's morning – what do you say?"

"I'm hungry," he moaned, sitting up. He rubbed his eyes groggily. "And my back is killing me…"

"Try again or I won't let you have breakfast."

Kazahaya looked up at him wearily, blinking through a haze of dreams. "Where's Kakei?"

Rikuo rolled his eyes, annoyed. The boy sounded still half-asleep. "Wake up, Kazahaya." He reached down and grabbed the ring on the collar, yanking him to his feet. Lights seemed to come on behind his pupils; he fell back, coughing roughly.

"Now what do you say?"

"Good morning, master," he sputtered. "May I please have some – _aah_–!"

Rikuou had grabbed his arm, turning it forcibly to look at his wrists. The bruises had turned an ugly yellow, splotched with shades of purple. From the corner of his eye, he saw Kazahaya wince as applied pressure.

He released him. "Come on – let's get you something to eat."

"_Finally, _I'm so _hungry_!"

"Did Kakei let you mouth off like this?"

"Kakei…he never _not _let me do anything…I just…did his jobs. That's all. Everything else was what you'd call normal, I guess."

Rikuo reached out, touching his soft hair again; two brown eyes, wide and frozen, stared at him.

"It won't be like that with me," he said. "You'll do as I tell you to do, or there'll be consequences for you. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"Yes _what?_"

"Yes, I understand."

Rikuo caught him by the collar, jerking him forward again. "'Yes, I understand'…? Are you really this slow?"

Kazahaya swallowed. "Yes, master," he whispered.

Rikuo turned and began to rummage through his dresser. When he came back to stand in front of Kazahaya, the boy was rubbing his throat unhappily.

"Come here." Rikuou reached forward and hooked a long chain to the collar. It fell heavily between them.

Kazahaya froze in shock. "You…you're not serious." Two eyes, accusing and filled with disbelief, pierced into him. "You don't plan to lead me around like some sort of _animal? _I can _walk_!"

"I don't like your tone, Kazahaya." He pulled on the chain, grinning; one of his arms was larger than both of the boy's combined; Kazahaya stumbled forward, caught off guard, then straightened.

"This is humiliating," he hissed. His teeth were clenched together angrily.

"_Come._"

"I will _not._" Rikuo watched, amused, as his slave dug his ankles into the carpet. He laughed, pulling harder. The boy gritted his teeth and reached up, grabbing the chain. _He's actually serious, _he thought, surprised. _He plans to put up a fight. _He pulled harder, wrapping the chain around his fist.

"_Urg!" _Kazahaya fell to his knees, gripping the taunt chain as he struggled. "_I – will – not!"_

"You're either coming with me like this, or you're staying here and not eating. Again."

"I'd rather – starve – " He bit the words off through gritted teeth, every ounce of his energy struggling against him. Rikuo released the chain; Kazahaya collapsed forward, gasping for breath.

"Then starve," he snapped, and left, locking the door behind him.

* * *

><p>Rikuo knew he had a problem; right now, he knew he had the physical strength to get Kazahaya in line…but if the boy was half as stubborn as Rikuou suspected him to be, that wasn't going to be enough. Plus, there was that feeling of guilt…<em>all the time. <em>He cursed inwardly at himself; _don't feel guilty about anything! _He yelled in his head. _Get rid of that. Don't be so weak. _He'd threatened Kazahaya with 'punishment' and 'consequences,' but had no idea what he would actually_ do_ if Kazahaya pushed him…as he had just done. In the end, he had just walked away, and Rikuo knew he had lost a battle.

He stood in the outer courtyard, waiting for the man who rode up to him on a bay mare, and watched as he walked over, holding a note in his hand. Mukofujiwara was a quiet man, and someone he could trust – they weren't friends who sought each other out often, but for years they had been confidantes, nodding to each other politely in public, and when necessary, sharing their troubles in private.

"I received your note. You wanted to talk to me." He was one of the few men whom Rikuo knew that could meet his gaze levelly; they stood, identical in height, each looking into each other's reserved, guarded eyes.

"You own a slave."

Mukofujiwara was briefly surprised; _briefly. _Little surprised him; the emotion didn't even register in his face, but Rikuo could still tell that he'd taken him off guard, if only for a moment. "Yes," he said. "You've met him."

"I just got one."

"That must give you some free time."

"Not yet." He looked out across the courtyard as the carriages came and went, riders dismounting, foot officers helping women step down, nurses running after wailing children. "He's very…stubborn."

"I see."

"He refused to come to breakfast this morning."

"Any particular reason why?"

Rikuo explained about his previous owner's complete leniency, the collar, and the leash. Mukofujiwara's brow creased. "You're being particularly harsh on him, if he's used to so much freedom."

"I don't want him to expect the same from me."

"Do you feel threatened by his potential for freedom?"

It was the sort of question Mukofujiwara would ask – direct, disinterested. "No," he answered. "Or yes. Maybe. …Yes." He didn't feel embarrassed at being honest with him; they never spoke to each other unless they each had something important to say, something they needed to share with someone else who could understand and then move on. Still, it was a hard thing to admit to himself. "I like the idea of him belonging to me."

"And you want him to get used to being your possession?"

He shifted uncomfortably; the bluntness stung a bit. "Yes. But he's not being very…tractable. I don't know what to do."

Mukofujiwara shoved his hands into his pockets. Next to him, his mare stamped the ground impatiently. "I'll tell you what happened when I bought Nayuki." Rikuo had met the boy once; he was shorter, quiet, pleasant. They hadn't spoken.

Mukofujiwara too looked off into the distance, turning away. "My father owned a large farm – he owned many people. He wrote, some time ago, to give me advice when I told him I was thinking of purchasing a slave. He said, 'Establish yourself as his owner right away. Don't ever tolerate transgressions – the smaller the transgression, the more the need to correct it, otherwise, your slave will start to test you, to exert his will against you, seeing what he can get away with, and just how much you'll allow. If he's smaller than you, the solution is simple: beat him. Weak people fear pain and physical punishment. If he's bigger than you, beating him won't work, because he'll always know that, in a fair fight, he could overpower you. Then you have to use mental tactics. I'm telling you this now, before you go purchase one, so you're prepared, because these issues won't come up a month from now, or a year from now – your first three days will set the tone for your entire ownership.'" Mukofujiwara paused, his voice quiet. "That's verbatim. I read that letter so many times, over and over again, that I memorized it, and I have never been able to get his words out of my head, try as I might…I knew he was right, too. He had so many, back on his estate. Once, I'd seen him beat a man within an inch of his life…and that man never stepped out of line again. So, I knew he had a point. So tell me, Rikuo, is your slave bigger or smaller than you?"

"…Smaller."

"And can you imagine beating him?"

Rikuo dropped his eyes, glaring at the ground. He tried to imagine beating that boy with his eerie, big eyes…and couldn't. No, he could imagine lifting Kazahaya up onto his bed, tearing off his clothes, touching his skin and thrusting into his tight, hot body; he could picture the way he might blush or cry out or dig his nails into his back –

"No." He shoved the fantasy away, hard. "No, I can't imagine doing that."

"Neither could I." Mukofujiwara looked at his companion, who eyes remained fixed to the dirt beneath them. "I bought Nayuki the next day, because I had little money and no one wanted him. He was a broken, miserable thing. I didn't beat him. I didn't mentally torture him. I just…waited. Eventually he came around. Some people would say I did everything wrong. I would disagree."

Rikuo smirked. "I don't think that'll work for mine. He's obstinate."

"He's also coming from a very different background as compared to how you want him to live now. I'd say you're going to be fighting an uphill battle."

"So you've got no good advice for me?"

Mukofujiwara grew thoughtful. "I didn't say my father's advice wasn't good advice, only that I chose not to take it. If you set a line and you don't want it crossed, then you shouldn't let him cross it. But, if you start to give in, you'll find it hard to regain lost ground…" He smiled suddenly, in a way Rikuo couldn't understand, as if he was thinking something private and happy. "Trust me on that one." He grabbed the reigns of his horse and remounted, glancing down at Rikuo.

"If you want to talk again, just send another note. I'll be there."

"Thanks." He raised a hand in farewell, watching as he rode away.

* * *

><p>It was evening when Rikuo returned. He hadn't brought Kazahaya's clothes back with him, this time not out of negligence – this time, he hoped to prove a point. He was almost surprised to find the door still locked; he had half expected his slave to try and pick the lock to escape.<p>

He stepped into his dim chamber, glancing at the floor. Kazahaya lay curled up in a tight ball, his head on the pillow. He had wrapped his arms around himself again, the chain trailing away from him.

_This kid is lazy as hell; all he does is sleep, _he thought; a more compassionate voice spoke up within him. _He's probably fatigued – he's gone two days without food or water. _

He didn't stir as the door shut, or as Rikuo walked around the room lighting the lamps. He didn't move until Rikuo stood right next to him, his boots near his head. Long eyelashes lifted as he opened his eyes and stared up at the man.

Rikuo held the other end of the chain. "Get up." He tugged at it, but not roughly.

Kazahaya stood quietly. Rikuo noted the new dullness in his eyes, the limp way his hair fell. "There's still food in the kitchens. Are you hungry?"

Tired eyes narrowed. "I'm hungry," he conceded, "But I won't go like _this_."

"Should I beat you?" Rikuo glared at him, exasperated. "Is that it? You're like a twig – I could break your arm. Is that what I need to do to get you to follow my orders?"

Kazahaya lowered his head. "No. I don't want that."

"Kakei let you do what you want – I told you that it wouldn't be the same for me. How long do you think you can keep this up against me? Make this easy on yourself." Rikuo hated the way his own words sounded half like an order, and half like a plea.

A spark – small, but fierce – ignited in Kazahaya's glare. "You mean make this easy on _you_."

Rikuo lost his patience.

"Take your shirt off."

Kazahaya's head snapped up, eyes widening. Rikuo frowned at his surprise, annoyed; _so he really doesn't expect any consequences_. _Time to change that_.

"I'll go. Like this."

"What did I just say?" He advanced, growling. He unhooked the chain deftly, tossing it to the floor with a clatter. "Take off your shirt, _Kazahaya._"

His arms were shaking as he undid the buttons, slipping the garment off. Thin arms came up to hug his bare torso as he turned around, exposing his back. Rikuou came forward, his eyes drinking in the pale skin, the graceful way his spine arched up toward jutting shoulder blades, the goosebumps that rose on his flesh as his fingers traced the knots in his spine…

Kazahaya shuddered.

"So what do you think, Kazahaya?" He stood directly behind him now, his lips close to his ear. "What do you think I'm going to do?"

Two graceful shoulders sagged. "I don't know…"

"What _don't _you want me to do?"

"Please…please don't beat me…" His ears flushed red with the humiliation of begging.

Rikuo let his hands fall on his shoulders; Kazahaya jumped at the touch. His hands slid down, pulling his arms away from his chest, turning him around. "Okay."

The boy's immediate relief was so strong, Rikuo nearly wanted to laugh. A light came back into his eyes, as if he couldn't believe his good fortune.

"T-thank you," he stammered. "Please, can we go? I'll go with you, with that thing – I'm so hungry, I –"

"Don't look so relieved, Kazahaya." His blood was quickening now; he smiled at the sudden confusion in his slave's eyes. "I said I wasn't going to beat you – I didn't say you weren't going to be punished."

He moved faster than the boy was expecting, shoving him onto his back on the bed. His legs hung off the edge, spread apart by a towering Rikuo. He found himself gripping thin wrists again, but this time, as carefully as he could manage.

"M-master!" Kazahaya squeaked beneath him, terrified. "Please –"

"Don't speak again until I give you permission to do so. And do _not _fight against me. If you do, I'll pick up that chain from the floor and whip you with it."

Rikuo let go of his wrists, smirking; the lie worked. The boy lay still, trembling…but not trying to get away. Evidently the thought of being whipped with metal wasn't appealing to him, Rikuo thought…_although, he might change his mind. _

He leaned down, letting his fingertips trail over Kazahaya's chest, delighting in the way the boy's nerves jumped at every sensation. Skin prickled; he curved his fingertips and dragged his nails down with just enough pressure to leave faint scratches, savoring the sound of breath being sucked in sharply above him. He leaned down and kissed his chest, pressing his lips against skin he had imagined kissing, and tasted his body for the first time – _sweat. _Kazahaya tasted _salty. _He grinned wickedly and came up to his nipples.

The boy yelped as Rikuo's tongue flicked across the left one, rolling the right between his thumb and forefinger until it was hard and tender. His tongue traced circles, flicked at the soft, red flesh, his mouth sucking at it – and all the while, Kazahaya gripped his hair with his hands, biting down on his lips, until finally a small, strangled moan escaped his throat.

"Don't say _anything_," he warned, licking at the cleft in his chest. "Or you'll be in even more trouble…" He let his hand roam down, feeling Kazahaya's hip bones, the waistband of his pants, the juncture where his legs met…he grasped the boy's limp manhood through the cloth gently, rubbing it with his palm, and felt his shuddering gasp above him.

"What's the matter, Kazahaya…not enjoying this?" He teased his nipples again, biting at them playfully, when a sound made him look up.

The boy had pressed his palms into his eyes, his knuckles white as he gripped his hair. In the dim light, tears gleamed, sliding down his angular face.

Rikuo sighed and pulled away, leaning on his side. He reached up and pulled one hand away from his face, gazing down into a glazed brown eye. There was something eerie about Kazahaya's eyes…something he couldn't quite put his finger on. Every so often, the boy had a strange look, like now, as if he was unable to quite focus, or as if he was staring through him…

"I'm done," he said. "Your punishment's over." He touched his hair, letting the soft strands float away from his fingertips. "You can speak."

Kazahaya was at a loss for words. He merely stared back, shaking, blinking, and that odd, vacant gaze adjusted, grew sharper, as if he was coming back to himself from some place far away. Slowly – _not slow enough, _Rikuo thought, admiring his slave's resilience – the boy's shock subsided into resentment.

"May I get up?"

"You may."

He rose, huffing, and snatched his shirt up from the floor, scrubbing his face with the cloth. Rikuo rolled over and watched him struggle to put it on, buttoning it wrong once, twice – and then giving up, sinking to the ground where his pillow waited.

"Kazahaya," he asked lazily, rolling to the edge of the bed. "_Now _would you like something to eat?"

The brunette gritted his teeth, curling up on the floor. "No, thank you, master," he snapped. "I'm not very hungry anymore."

"Then goodnight."


	4. Chapter 4

Kazahaya's dreams weren't those of the gardens again; instead, he felt as though he were drowning, tossed about in a current of emotion that didn't belong to him. He could see himself – _himself! _– his naked chest, feel a hot desire to kiss his own body –

Kazahaya awoke in the middle of the night, his heart racing, skin burning with desire…for what? The feeling faded as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He gulped in the cold night air, his mind reeling: those were Rikuo's emotions again…and Rikuo wanted him. _Badly. _

Kazahaya shot a poisonous glance at the dark form on the bed. _Fuck you, and fuck your pillow! _He thought furiously, kicking it away. Disturbed, he lay back down on the hard floor, sinking back into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

><p>Morning came; Rikuo nudged Kazahaya with his foot, glancing at his pillow. It had somehow managed to get halfway across the room.<p>

"You hungry?"

Kazahaya opened two languid eyes; he was a slow riser. "Mm?"

"I said, are you hungry?"

The boy sat up, wincing. "Yes," he answered, rubbing his back. His voice had grown weaker from yesterday, but his eyes, dull though they were, still burned with his stubborn attitude.

Rikuo picked up the chain and knelt in front of him. He clipped it to his collar and reached out, gently touching his face. Even his eyes lashes were soft, fluttering against his fingernails.

"Then let's get something to eat."

He made to stand and walk toward the door, but stopped. Part of him wanted to laugh; part of him wanted to kick the boy who remained stubbornly seated on the ground, two thin arms gripping the chain, pulling it down.

Rikuo observed him with a strange mixture of admiration and exasperation. Kazahaya was silent, glaring up at him from the ground. It was hard not to appreciate the boy's determination, the fiery defiance burning in his eyes. _Eyes that belong to me, _he reminded himself, smirking.

"I thought we had ironed out this issue yesterday, Kazahaya?"

Brown eyes narrowed; his grip on the chain tightened.

Rikuo gave the chain a sharp pull; Kazahaya fell forward onto his stomach, refusing to stand. Thin, white fingers curled around the metal, his teeth gritted in consternation. Rikuo huffed in annoyance, kicking him over onto his back. He stepped on the boy's lower abdomen carefully, just enough to apply a mild pressure with his foot.

"I don't care if you haven't eaten or drunk anything in a couple of days – you still probably have to take a piss pretty badly." He leaned more of his weight down onto his foot, watching the boy's face color. "So this is what's going to happen – either cut this shit out, stand up and come with me, or I'm going to kick you in your groin, and drag you, covered in piss, all the way out into the courtyard for everyone to see. Is that what you want?"

Kazahaya's voice was strained with rage. "I'd rather – be – dead!"

Rikuo rolled his eyes. "No, you wouldn't. Don't be so melodramatic. Now, last chance – get up."

But the boy glared back at him more fiercely. "I mean it," he hissed. "I'd rather be dead than live – than live like _this _– with _you_ – so if I have to starve myself – I'd rather _die _–"

He drew his leg back to kick him, hard, and found his muscles clenching, holding himself back. Kazahaya had seen the movement; his eyes flinched shut, tears of rage pressed out from the corners as he braced himself.

Rikuo dropped the chain on the floor; Kazahaya opened his eyes, surprised, as he watched the man walk to the door.

He didn't want to beat him, or hurt him – he paused in the doorway, his back to him, so that Kazahaya couldn't see his face, or the grin he was suppressing. He liked the boy for his spirit – he didn't want to break him, mentally or physically; it was that fire that made Rikuo want to reach out and kiss him, caress him, take him, completely and entirely…_but you can't have it both ways, _he reminded himself.

But suddenly he remembered Mukofujiwara, and his odd smile.

_For now, I can try._

"You're a stubborn boy, Kazahaya," he sighed.

The door swung and locked behind him.

* * *

><p>His stomach had stopped growling a day ago, giving up on its hope for food; Kazahaya remained curled on the floor, enduring the throbbing ache from the emptiness inside him and the equally uncomfortable need to relieve himself. Hours had passed; he guessed it was about midday. He'd meant it when he told Rikuo that he would rather die than live like this; it was too much. Not last week he'd been out, riding in the countryside, returning from a job for Kakei to his own warm room and bed…and now he was wearing a collar, calling that horrible asshole <em>master, <em>sleeping on the ground, _starving. _

_I can't live like this, _he thought. His mind had turned to ways of escaping, opportunities to run, but his own stubborn rationality was quick to remind him of Kakei. Kakei, who had sold him, he thought bitterly… Rikuo would turn to him for help, and if Kakei had been callous enough to sell him, well, Kazahaya figured bitterly that he'd be equally callous enough to help find him; Saiga could find _anyone_, and with Saiga's assistance, he wouldn't get far. And if he was caught? He shuddered to think about what would happen to him.

_So I'm stuck here._

_ You could just do what he says, _half of his mind spoke to him, sounding enticingly reasonable. _Stop fighting it! Get used to it. _

_ I can't get used to this! _He yelled back at it. He hadn't been born a slave; Kakei was his first owner. He had went from freedom to what he now reflected on was essentially _also _freedom, but with the stipulation that he not run away from he or Saiga…to _this, _he thought, loathing welling up in him.

_Rikuo is a demon! _He yelled.

His inner voice had a hard time arguing with that. _Okay, _it allowed, _but you can't change this – just look at your options. You either have to do what he says, or he's going to get more frustrated with you. Look what happened last night._

On the floor, Kazahaya's thin frame shivered. He had thought for sure Rikuo was going to take his belt off and whip is back bloody with the buckle – he'd heard stories of such treatments – but the alternative had been so shocking he was surprised he hadn't at least thought it a possibility. Rikuo had said he wouldn't use Kazahaya for _that, _but…the way his hands had moved over his body, the way his tongue had licked at chest, teeth nipping, and the way Kazahaya had awoke, his skin flushed with Rikuo's desire for himself burning perversely in his own skin –

Kazahaya groaned and colored. _I think he wants to fuck me! _He squeaked in his head.

_Think? _The reasonable voice was equally unnerved. _You THINK? I think getting beaten is the least of your worries – I think if you keep this up, he WILL fuck you!_

"Ugh…" He shut his eyes tighter, shivering now. He imagined that man grabbing him, making him undress, kissing him –

_I don't even know how two guys fuck each other! _He thought, panicked.

_And you DON'T want to find out! _His own voice reminded him.

But Kazahaya's heartbeat had quickened, just a bit, when he imagined Rikuo touching him again. He thought of this morning, the way his fingers had touched his eyelashes…

He flushed with embarrassment to think about it, blood rushing to his ears. He could feel the collar around his neck, cold and present, reminding him of the truth. _When that man touches you, it's because he thinks he owns you and he wants to use you. And don't forget – he DOES own you and he CAN use you, so you can either give him an excuse to do so…or you can just give in._

_ Just give in, _the voice finished. _You don't want him to hurt you, do you?_

"No," he groaned. "I don't…"

A knock came at the door.

Kazahaya nearly wet himself from surprise; he sat up abruptly, unsure if he should say "Come in" or not. Maybe this was some sort of test? Kakei or Saiga would knock before coming into his room – surely, Rikuo would not. _After all, this is HIS room, _he thought. _And the door is locked, so even if I said "come in" it's not like –_

His thoughts were cut off by the sound of a key turning the latch.

Kazahaya stared, confused, as a boy who was definitely _not _Rikuo walked in. He had something large slung over his back, rolled up in some sort of traveling bag, and a basket in both arms. He was shorter than Kazahaya, and perhaps younger – but perhaps not. He looked into the other boy's dark eyes, nearly obscured by long, black lashes and saw that, despite his youth, there was maturity and age.

"Hello." The boy shut the door behind him and came over to where Kazahaya sat on the floor. With a great sigh, he let the bundle on his back fall to the floor with a soft thud. He set the basket down and promptly sat in from of Kazahaya, smiling. "I'm Nayuki – it's nice to meet you. You must be Kazahaya."

Kazahaya stared at his outstretched hand, confused. "Um." He didn't accept his hand.

Nayuki smiled at him. "Would you like to step outside with me for a moment? I know you're probably a bit confused, but I'm guess you might want to, well," he blushed boyishly, glancing at the door. "Relieve yourself? There's a privy close by."

Kazahaya looked at him suspiciously. "How do you know I won't run away?"

Nayuki smiled more brightly. "Because if you do, you'll never get those sandwiches in there." He pointed at the basket. "Or the water. I'll bet you're thirsty, too."

He was; at the mention of water, his throat burned.

Kazahaya followed Nayuki to the privy, holding the chain still attached to his collar as he went, grateful there was no around. He'd never been so relieved to take a piss before in his life; "FINALLY!" he exclaimed, his shoulders relaxing.

"Did you say something?" Nayuki stuck his head in.

"NO!"

By the time they were seated back in Rikuo's room, Kazahaya didn't care _who _the kid was. He watched, like a hungry animal, as he opened the basket and took out sandwiches wrapped carefully in cloth, cheese, a bottle of milk, and a stopped jar of water.

"I've already eaten," Nayuki explained. "Please…help yourself."

Kazahaya didn't care what sort of impression he was giving the boy as he devoured the food; he'd eaten five sandwiches stuffed with salted pork and greens, killed a solid block of cheese, and drained the milk when he stopped, glancing at the basket.

"Got anything else?"

"Erm, no." Nayuki seemed embarrassed. "But the kitchens will have dinner ready in three hours, so I'm sure Rikuo will bring you more food then."

Kazahaya jeered. "_Rikuo? _Slim chance."

"Well, he's the one who packed this for you, so I wouldn't think it too unlikely."

Kazahaya stopped, confused. "_Rikuo _sent you here? The tall guy? That's…I don't believe you."

Nayuki smiled kindly. "I expected you wouldn't. I wanted to wait until you were done eating before I explained. Rikuo is a friend of my master, a man named Mukofujiwara."

He sputtered, utterly lost. "You're a _slave? _But you don't look like one! You're not – where is –"

Nayuki unfolded his crossed legs; there, beneath the pants leg on his left ankle, was a tiny golden anklet.

Kazahaya fumed. "You can't even _see _that!" He pointed at his collar with indignation. "Look what that asshole makes me wear! It's _tight!_"

Nayuki winced at his screeching. "Yes, that does look a bit…uncomfortable."

"_Uncomfortable? _This is _humiliating_," he hissed.

Nayuki's eyes slid away; he smiled sheepishly in agreement, but was kind enough not to say so. "Rikuo asked Mukofujiwara to send me here to you with some things. Food, bedding," he said, pointing at the large sack he had dropped. "He said you were sleeping on the floor. This will be more comfortable. It's a flat cot that you can roll out. There's a blanket, too."

"Oh jeez, what a _nice _guy." Kazahaya was growing angrier; he could tell that he was making Nayuki uncomfortable, but his rage was building. "Do _you _sleep on the floor?"

The boy blushed again. "Well, no," he admitted.

"So you sleep in a bed?"

"Uh-huh." He was trying not to smile, but his cheeks had turned pink. "Well, someone else's bed, anyways."

Kazahaya looked at him blankly, his face expectant, innocently waiting for him to go on. Nayuki was silent for some moments until he realized Kazahaya's gaze wasn't going to let up. "That is, I…well, I sleep in my master's bed," he finished, grinning.

Kazahaya's eyes widened as he added everything up in his head. "What is _wrong _with everyone here?" Nayuki watched as he grew suddenly thoughtful, as if an old thought had risen back to the forefront of his mind. "How does that even _work_?"

Nayuki colored. "Um, I'm not sure what you're referring to…"

"_Forget it!" _Nayuki watched as he ran a shaky hand through hair that was longer on one side of his face, his eyes still distracted by thoughts he couldn't see.

"I heard you're having a tough time with…this," he said, changing the subject.

Two eyes, like a vicious alley cat, glared at him. "You hear that from Rikuo? I guess he must be telling everyone he knows about his new diversion."

"Rikuo hardly speaks to anyone, if it makes you feel better," Nayuki tried. "Mukofujiwara guessed that was why he asked me to come give you this stuff. In case you wanted to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," he muttered.

"Are you sure?" Nayuki reached out and touched him gently, his eyes warm. "I'll listen."

It only took a single touch for Kazahaya to trust the boy; his emotions were so pure, so unguarded, that they flowed into him in an instant. He pulled away, not wanting to be overwhelmed, and took a deep breath.

Nayuki listened patiently as he ranted, cursing Rikuo, and Kakei, and even Saiga, for everything, blaming them for all his troubles. He told him everything, even details he had thought to keep secret, like the way Rikuo had accosted him, mistaking him for a sex slave, the way he had threatened to forcibly drag him to the courtyard. Nayuki nodded, attentive; finally, Kazahaya tired himself out. He sank wearily against the wall, sighing.

"And you know, the worst part about the whole thing…Kakei didn't even tell Rikuo why he had bought me in the first place. The reason why I'm…sort of…special," he mumbled, embarrassed. "That's what Kakei said I was, anyways…and it was a lie. He didn't even think it was an important enough detail to tell Rikuo."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about." Nayuki spoke gently, patient. "Would you mind sharing with me?"

"I mentioned it to Rikuo, kind of…but he must have thought it was something stupid. He didn't even bother to really ask." Kazahaya was talking more to himself now, but at Nayuki's questioning gaze, he returned to his present thoughts. "Oh…well, look, this might be hard to believe, okay? But…Kakei called me an 'empath.'"

Nayuki blinked, then smiled. "It's not hard to believe," he offered, "Because I have no idea what that is."

Kazahaya wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. "It means that I can _feel _things – other people's emotions, mostly, or memories. I used to work for Kakei retrieving items that had been imprinted with feelings, or memories – if the people who owned the item were strong enough or touched it enough, sometimes I could experience the memory as my own. One time I retrieved the sword of some old, _old_ general; when I touched it, I could hear his thoughts…see his memories of where he had buried a collection of war relics he'd kept safe for years, and I brought them back to Kakei. I can do it with people, too – if someone is feeling something strong enough, and they let their guard down while I'm touching them, I can channel their emotion. Like…earlier."

"Earlier?"

"You touched me – just for a moment…but I felt your sincerity. And earnestness." Kazahaya was flushing brightly, embarrassed. He stood up, walking over to the four poster bed, touching the wood with his hands. He paused, as if in thought, and then spoke again. "This has nothing. It's not every item or material object; it has to be something special, or something that's had a lot of contact with a person. Ideally, both – then it's really strong. …You think I'm crazy, don't you?"

Nayuki had risen, shaking his head. "No," he said, and Kazahaya was relieved to see he was being honest. "I think you're being truthful…and I think that's _incredible. _That must be a rare talent…I've never heard of anyone with that ability before. And Rikuo doesn't know?"

Kazahaya rolled his eyes, leaning against the bed. "Well, I _tried _to tell him, but he just sort of moved on, like he didn't care. So I'm not going to tell him."

"But don't you think it might help things between the two of you if he knows?"

"I don't see how." Nayuki laughed at the way he puffed up angrily, like a ruffled scrubjay.

"Do you mind," he asked suddenly, curious, "If you show me how it works?"

"Huh?" Kazahaya had gotten lost in his thoughts again. He looked at the boy and shrugged. "Do you have something important to you?"

"Yes."

"Well, then sure, I can show you. What is it?"

He watched as Nayuki lifted a thin chain from around his neck, lifting a necklace that had been hidden under his shirt. Suspended on the chain was a ring, a glittering stone inlaid in the airy gold. He lifted it from his neck, gazing at it in his palm.

"This means a good deal to me," he whispered. "What do you see when you hold it?"

Kazahaya wondered at the boy's strange expression; it was wistful, happy and sad all at the same time. He held out his hand, watching as Nayuki dropped it into his palm.

The effect an instantaneous; Nayuki cried out as Kazahaya's eyes rolled back. His legs crumpled, and the last sound he heard from the brunette was a sickening, muffled crack as his head struck the edge of the wooden bed frame as he collapsed, unconscious, to the floor.


	5. Chapter 5

_The world was slightly hazy – was it because this was a dream, or because he'd been struck so many times in the head that the mottled blood in his scalp was just drying over his eyes, crusting in his lashes? _

_ It was hard to find a central focus of pain; every nerve in his body was on fire. A powerful person was grasping him by his torso, crushing his broken ribs into his lungs as he shoved him down into a pile of something coarse and scratchy – hay? He didn't know where he was, or how he got there, why there was hay – none of it made sense._

_ A sudden, hideous pain seared him; he realized suddenly that the sound – a faraway, high pitched sound of an animal in pain – was coming from him. His vocal chords were raw from it; something thick – a man's gloved hand – shoved into his mouth. He bit down, but there was no change. The pain was still attacking him, spreading. The person had positioned himself over him, crushing him; he could hardly breathe. _

_ It felt as though he was being ripped apart, as though white hot fire was searing his lower body as the man shoved himself inside of him, rending him. The pain was paralyzing; he couldn't fight against the man, and every movement brought a new wave of agony into him. _

Please, _Kazahaya thought, _let this be a dream…

_Everything changed; he felt numb suddenly, inside and out. He was lying in a bed somewhere, and his body felt too tired to move. Someone was there, hovering above him, and his heart skipped with fear –_

Rikuo! _He thought, but no – it was someone he had never met, of similar stature and build, but the eyes were different. These were humorless, serious…and concerned. Kazahaya felt his heart leap into his throat with terror as the man reached out, but no pain came. Instead, he brushed his cheek, leaned down, and kissed his forehead…_

_ The world had shifted again; all of the fear and pain from before was gone like a fog that had lifted. He was standing outside somewhere, in an orchard perhaps, and the world was beautiful…it was springtime. His heart felt so light…yet heavy. It was pounding in his chest, hammering with excitement and fear._

_ The man who reminded him of Rikuo was there, waiting. Kazahaya turned around to face him, and the man stepped forward. For a moment, he forgot to breathe; he wanted to speak and say something, but no words came. The man stepped close, running his hands through hair, kissing him…_

_ Kazahaya had never felt this before; the man pressed his lips against his, sliding them apart with his tongue, pushing inside. He gripped the back of his head, kissing him deeply until he was dizzy, sinking to the ground, his legs weak. The man touched him gently, lifting his clothes away until he was naked, cushioned only by the sweet grass, feeling the man kiss his neck, his chest, and go lower, down, caressing his thighs. He slipped a finger inside him; Kazahaya cried out in a voice that wasn't his own in pleasure and fear, anticipation making his heart race. The man held him down by his shoulder, kissing him again with a tenderness that made his eyes fill with tears, and felt two strong legs pushing his apart, hips pressing downward, thrusting –_

_ And Kazahaya was finally aware that he was dreaming, because everything was different again, all of the emotions were gone, and he was cooking…something he had never done, or had any knowledge of how to do. Still, his hands moved, slicing a head of cabbage into neat little shreds._

_ A strong hand slipped around his waist, pulling him around. His heart felt so tight, like it was filled with something and overflowing, making it hard to breathe. A pair of hands, the same hands that had held him in the last vision, took the knife and set it on the counter, pressing a ring into his hand, closing his palms over it –_

_ The scene changed, and Kazahaya was suddenly staring at himself. It was as if he was having an out of body experience, but he was sure of it – he was looking at _himself_, lying in a bed. His hair had been pushed back to accommodate the bandage that was wrapped around the top of his head, and he was sitting beside himself, holding his own hand, watching himself breathe. _

I look awful, _he thought. His free hand had grasped, claw-like, at the sheets on his side. Beads of sweat stood out on his forehead. _Am I sleeping?

_ Emotions flooded into him; he felt guilty and afraid, angry at nothing, and an overwhelming sense of urgency and concern. All he wanted was to see himself wake up…for his eyes to open…to wake up…_

Kazahaya opened his eyes, aware of the horrible throbbing in his temple. It had been mid-afternoon when Nayuki had reached out, tipping something into his hand…_what was it? _His memory had gone fuzzy. _A ring…it was a ring that he wore on a chain, under his shirt, _he thought. It was dimmer now; lamps were lit in the room. The dream, and all of its feelings, was already receding from him, growing less real with every passing second.

He groaned and was suddenly aware of a pressure squeezing his right hand. Two brown eyes rolled to his side, unnerved.

Rikuo sat in a chair by the bed, holding his hand. Their eyes met, equally surprised.

"You're awake."

Kazahaya didn't understand his tone; it was incredulous…and, unless he imagined it (which was likely, he thought)… relieved.

He tried to speak and found his throat uncomfortably dry. Rikuo let go of his hand and reached behind him, lifting his head. A glass of water touched his lips; the liquid felt unbelievably cool as it flowed into him. He drank the entire contents, marveling at Rikuo's behavior as he lowered his head back to the pillow.

"Where's Nayuki?" He was surprised at how weak his voice sounded…_how long have I been sleeping?_

"Gone." No, it wasn't his imagination – Rikuo was looking at him strangely. "Days ago."

"_Days?" _Shock speared him; he bolted upright and watched as the walls of the room spun in a shimmering dance of lamplight. He was too weak to fight back as Rikuo pushed him back down into the bed – _I'm in his bed! _he thought, panic rising – and waited for the world to slow down.

"Three days, to be exact."

"Three days." He couldn't believe it. All he could remember was Nayuki handing him the ring…_the ring. _

Those dreams, then…_they weren't dreams, _he thought. If Nayuki wore the ring as a necklace, tight against his skin…the longer the contact with an item, the stronger its ability to emote was. His stomach turned over; the 'dreams' were memories. The emotions felt distant now, foreign, but for those short moments, he had felt them himself, experienced them as if they were his own – _not short, _he thought. _Three days. _Nayuki couldn't have known how much of himself he had poured into the ring…Kazahaya flushed and felt dirty, as if he had spied on something he had never meant to see, something deeply personal and painful, happy and secret, all at the same time.

But there was a memory he didn't understand: the last one, where he had watched himself. "Was Nayuki here with me?"

"No. He came and got me immediately, and then I sent him back to his master. I've been here."

"You?" He opened his eyes; the room was standing still again. He remembered how when he awoke, Rikuo had been holding his hand… His face colored familiarly, and he watched as Rikuo observed him and seemed almost relieved. _That was him. _His mind was telling him one thing, but his head still refused to believe it. _Those feelings…those were his. _

_ There's no way he'd feel any of that, _he thought. _Not him… _"What happened?"

"You collapsed. When you fell, you hit your head on the edge of the frame and gave yourself a concussion."

_People don't get a concussion and stay unconscious for three days, _he thought, and judging by the look in Rikuo's eyes, he knew his owner was thinking the same thing.

"Now, why don't you tell me what really happened?"

Kazahaya wasn't sure what to say. It was hard to guess how much Nayuki had told him…_probably all of it, _he thought, because the ring was gone. Rikuo probably had it sent back to – _what was his name? Mukofujiwara_?

"Kazahaya." Rikuo touched his cheek; the brunette turned to look at him, suddenly wary. "You cried out in your sleep."

"…oh." He didn't know what to say to that.

"It sounded like someone was hurting you."

"…mm." He was trying to think, but it was hard, with his body feeling like lead, and Rikuo stroking skin that was growing more flushed.

"Nayuki told me. About what you said."

Now he could feel his face burning. He felt bad for the other boy; he'd known him briefly, but he was so genuine..._and those memories. _After all that, his heart was still so pure. Of course he'd tell Rikuo about his ability, if he thought it would help him…

Rikuo looked odd, like a man out at sea struggling against opposing tides. "He told me how this is a very difficult…transition for you."

Kazahaya blinked. This wasn't quite the direction he had expected the conversation to go in…and yet, his ears burning with Rikuo's hand still lingering on his face, he found that it was equally uncomfortable.

"You're probably very bitter at me, because I took you away from Kakei and Saiga. I understand why you've been fighting against me, and that you're upset because you've lost a lot of freedoms you were accustomed to. Things won't always be like this – they don't _have _to be like this. Just do as I say," he sighed, weary. "I don't want to hurt you, Kazahaya. And I don't want you to hurt yourself." He was staring at him intently, as if expecting some sort of reaction, but Kazahaya only remained confused. "So, why did you do it?"

Kazahaya stared back at him, perplexed. Rikuo frowned, and suddenly he was aware that the larger man was _flustered _at his silence.

"I don't want to starve you," he pressed on, his voice low, eyes intense. "I don't want to deprive you of food, or water, or beat you until you piss yourself. I'm not going to make you share a bed with me, but you don't need to sleep on the floor like an animal. That's why I had Nayuki bring you the cot, and food. I went and got your clothing after I left you that morning. I was hoping you would see…" he stopped, angry – whether at Kazahaya or himself, the brunette didn't know – "…just tell me, why did you do it?"

"…I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about."

Rikuo was visibly angry now. His eyes narrowed. "After everything I just said to you, you're going to lie to me?"

"But – I'm not lying!" He shoved himself into a sitting position, grasping the bed to make the sudden wave of dizziness stop. "Did…did Nayuki not tell you…?" Kazahaya felt sick. He could see Nayuki looking at him kindly, asking _Rikuou doesn't know?_

_ And you didn't tell him, _he thought, suddenly ashamed. _You told him everything else, but you're making me be the one to do this. _He didn't know if was angry or thankful to the boy. Both, probably.

"Nayuki told me plenty. That's what I've been telling you." His words were clipped.

Kazahaya took a deep, shuddering breath. "Ri –" he began, and stopped. Anger, like daggers, flashed in Rikuo's eyes; he had pulled his hand away. Kazahaya looked down, staring at the sheets. Rikuo's sheets. "Master…I didn't hurt myself on purpose. If that's what you're asking."

"You said you would starve yourself to death before I left. You expect me to believe you now?"

He winced; the words hurt him, though he wasn't sure why. It felt like being slapped. "…I suppose not…no. But I have something to tell you…that Nayuki didn't say." He looked up suddenly, steeling himself against Rikuo's wrathful expression, and felt small. "Please don't be mad at me."

Dark eyes softened, almost bewildered. It was harder to look at his owner when he looked kind than it was when he was mad; he let his eyes fall away, and in a quiet voice, spoke again.

"You remember I said I had a special talent that Kakei used me for?"

"Yes."

"You didn't seem very interested."

"I thought it was…negligible. Like cooking. Or something."

"I don't know how to cook." He sounded as miserable as he was. "But that's not important, I guess. So…here goes…" He didn't look at him as he spoke, explaining his abilities as an empath, and how Kakei had employed him. It was a short story, really: his parents were poor and discovered his ability early on. Frightened and in need of money, they sold him when he was ten years old to Kakei and Saiga; he'd worked for them ever since. Kazahaya explained about the need to touch an object and the different degrees to which he could experience something, his eyes locked resolutely on his own lap, with all the familiarity of someone explaining how they put on their shoes in the morning. "Things – things can hold your memories," he explained. _And skin, too, _he almost added, but no; he wouldn't tell Rikuo _that._

"When I told Nayuki, he wanted to see. He handed me…something that belonged to him. I should have stopped and thought about it, but I was just…stupid. The more important the item is, how much the person pours their emotions into it, and how long they've had physical contact with it all matters. That thing…I think it's probably the most important thing to him. I wouldn't be surprised if he never leaves it…it was too much for me. I've rarely been overwhelmed, but it's happened before. It's like Ijust get shoved out of my own head, or swallowed into whatever memories are embedded in the item."

"So which one was it?"

Kazahaya glanced up, startled at his Rikuo's cool demeanor. His hands were crossed over his chest, his gaze level.

"Which one?"

"When you touched whatever he gave you. Did you get swallowed in, or pushed out?"

"Both, I guess. I was there, at first, living his memories for awhile, but then I must have been pushed out pretty hard if I was asleep for…three days."

Rikuo was silent for a long time. Kazahaya began to tweak at the sheets nervously with his fingers as the man continued to stare at him. Finally, in a measured, odd voice, Rikuo spoke.

"I'm sorry."

"_What?" _He snapped his mouth shut, shocked. Rikuo closed his eyes.

"I'm sorry I underestimated you. You tried to tell me about this, and I was uninterested. You have my apology."

Kazahaya didn't know what to say. He nodded, dimly aware that everything about his situation was unusual, and waited patiently for Rikuo to speak again.

"Stay in bed for awhile." He pushed back from the chair, rising. "I'm going to go get some food and the doctor."

"The doctor?"

"Did you think I was just going to let you bleed to death? Your pupils were dilated, I –" Rikuo stopped abruptly. "I'll be back."

* * *

><p>Kazahaya was tempted to think that everything and nothing had changed about Rikuo, as he knew him, anyway. The man let him stay in his bed for another night, bringing him food and water, and slept on the flat cot Nayuki had brought – <em>but still, <em>Kazahaya thought stubbornly, Rikuo's expression only seemed to waver between utter disinterest and quiet amusement…

…even if his touch told of other things.

Kazahaya awoke before Rikuo, slipping out of bed. Four days of bed rest had left him shaky; he rose, stretching, and glanced down at his owner on the floor.

_The cot…oh shit. _Rikuo was still asleep on it, his head resting on a new pillow, his body covered with a new blanket… _I hope he didn't get any of his dirty thoughts all over that… _The previous night had been filled again with dreams of a house he had never been to, gardens he got lost in again –

"Kazahaya."

He started backwards. "You're awake?"

"No, I talk in my sleep. Idiot." Rikuo sat up, running a hand absent-mindedly through his hair. Kazahaya watched as his muscles moved in cohesion, a toned forearm leading back into a bare, well-muscled torso.

Rikuo leered at him. "You like what you see?"

"I was _not _looking at you."

"Sure you weren't." Rikuo rose and began to dress. "Are you hungry?" Kazahaya nodded. "Then we'll go get breakfast."

He had the sudden urge to find the nearest cliff and throw his body over the edge. _I know what's coming. _He squared his shoulders, two fists curling at his side.

Rikuo ignored him and walked to the door. "Come on."

"…We're going?"

"Are you fucking dumb?" His master evidently had a very short temper in the morning. He stood in the open doorway, inclining with his head to follow him. "Yes. _Come._"

Kazahaya walked forward, as if in a dream. _All that fighting about the chain…and he's just giving up? _

It seemed he had; they walked in silence down to the kitchens, collecting warm bread, boiled eggs, and a few thick slices of ham before Rikuo left the staff, jerking his head for Kazahaya to follow. They reached the outside just as dawn began to break.

"Usually I get dressed and eat in the hall." Rikuo split open his bread loaf, stuffed the ham inside with the eggs, and tore into it. After a few bites, he glanced at Kazahaya. "Well, _eat._"

He did, slowly, still wary of the situation. Rikuo continued. "We'll probably be leaving here within two weeks time. I'm working now to finish up some business matters. I have a meeting this morning – I'll be busy all day."

Kazahaya didn't know what to reply; he nodded stupidly and took a bite of his bread.

"This will probably continue until I'm ready to leave…so, you need to stay out of trouble during the day. If I need you, I'll send for you."

"Should I just stay in your quarters?"

Rikuo gave him a long, hard, discerning look. "…You can go wherever you want. Just be back by five in the evening. Why are you looking at me like that?"

Kazahaya blinked rapidly; he wasn't aware of how surprised he looked. "It's just…the other day you wouldn't let me leave me without the leash. Now you're saying I can go anywhere I want while you work during the day. Aren't you worried I'll try to run away?"

"Are you going to try to run away?" Rikuo's eyes had narrowed; in the new dawn light, his gaze was like polished flint.

"No! No, that's not what I'm saying. It's just that this seems like…a big change." He looked at Rikuo suspiciously.

The corners of Rikuo's mouth twitched; Kazahaya studied his expression, watching the smallest of a smirk, confident and amused, form. "No, everything is the same. Just obey me and we'll get along fine. I won't make you wear the leash…but if you disobey me, I _will_ punish you."

Kazahaya's cheeks colored. Rikuo had said it so casually, it was as if he was commenting on the weather. "You'll – what?"

"Oh, you don't want to find out. So, I suggest you be good…Kazahaya. And don't _touch _anything." He reached out and brushed the hair away from his startled face, grinning. Rikuo stood up, stretched, and began to walk away. "See you at five," he called. "And not a minute after."

_Not a minute after. _As Kazahaya watched him go, he determined that the first thing he would do with his free time was get a watch.


	6. Chapter 6

As he had no money, Kazahaya discovered that his only option for getting a watch was stealing one, and slaves caught stealing usually only had one hand. He'd given up on the thought quickly, eyes trained on the sun as he wandered around the grounds, asking for directions. There was someone he wanted to see; the sun had risen to midday by the time he had discovered where to find Nayuki.

The court grounds stretched across acres, the orchards creeping up a long, sloping hill up to the very edge of a broad forest, he had heard, was used for hunting game. The hunting road wound up from the stables, along the edge of the orchards, around the trees that were now heavy with ripening fruit hanging in the late summer sun. Kazahaya walked, sweating, his eyes following that path; he imagined what it would be like to ride, fast and free, through those beautiful trees as he headed toward that deep forest, the call of game and freedom and wind ringing in his ears.

The horses whickered at him as he walked past; he paused long enough to ask a young stablehand where the foreman's manor was. The boy looked at him like he was an idiot; _he's free, _Kazahaya thought, glancing at his wrists. _Unless he's like Nayuki, and keeps it hidden… _Slaves wore some form of identification, usually a chain about a limb, to mark their ownership; servants were free men, and despite their utter lack of social standing, still looked down on slaves in contempt. The boy scoffed, pointed up toward the hill, and left him without a word as he returned to brushing the fine coat of a mare.

_Some help he was! _Kazahaya kicked at the dirt, walking on. The stables stretched on and upward; around him, people were working at shoeing the beasts, cleaning out the stalls, hauling water, hay, bags of grains. He reflected that, free though they may be, those men would work all day until their backs ached, their legs were sore…_and I'm free to do whatever I want, because that's what my master told me to do. So there! _

_No, not 'so there'! What are you thinking! _His mind shouted back at him. _You're not giving Rikuo credit for doing something GOOD, are you? You know this is all a trick somehow._

_Rikuo…bastard! Pervert! _Kazahaya's mind kicked the epitaphs around with relish as he moved up the hill toward a large manor overlooking the orchards. His eyes were trained on his feet, huffing as he walked; he didn't even notice the man he'd walked into until he stumbled backwards, flustered.

"I'm sorry!" He looked up and did a double take; _I've seen him before! _The man was looking at him placidly, broad shoulders pulled back in a straight, tall posture, dark hair matching equally dark, quiet eyes…

Kazahaya flushed suddenly. "I…" He tried to speak, but memories – memories that didn't belong to him – came rushing to the surface. _I remember having sex with you _was the words his mind was repeating in wild, short-circuited bursts. His mouth was opening, closing, opening again in an effort to say something – _anything! Anything except 'I remember having sex with you'! – _but he could only stare at the man in shock.

A familiar face came walking up from behind him. Nayuki's initial surprise melted into a warm smile.

"Kazahaya! I'm so glad to see you!"

"Na…Nayuki. Hi." His voice had grown suddenly higher. Nayuki beamed.

"This is Mukofujiwara. You've probably met him, huh?" Nayuki winked in a way that made Kazahaya want to turn and run.

Mukofujiwara raised an eyebrow. He looked, puzzled, down at the smaller boy. "I've never met him before…"

"Well, he's met you." Nayuki pushed onward, ignoring his master's quizzical look. He belongs to Rikuo."

Recognition flashed in those dark eyes. "Rikuo – oh. I've heard about you."

That brought him back to his senses. Kazahaya colored again, now angry. "Yea? What's he say?"

Mukofujiwara smiled a little. "I wouldn't betray my friend's confidence. Kazahaya, was it? It was nice meeting you. Nayuki…excuse me, I'll see you later."

Kazahaya watched as Mukofujiwara turned and kissed Nayuki on the forehead as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He left them standing there, Nayuki all smiles, Kazahaya in shock, wondering why his own heart seemed to now contain a small, smoldering ember of jealousy…and longing.

_He looks a lot like Rikuo_, he thought, watching him disappear down the hill.

"Please, come inside – I've been meaning to see you!"

When they were seated for tea on cushions near a bay window overlooking the orchards, Nayuki's smile faltered. "About what happened earlier…I'm sorry. I didn't know –"

"It's not your fault. I should have realized that was a bad idea. I didn't mean to scare you."

Nayuki looked away. "I'll admit I was scared. I thought you were dead. I took the ring out of your hands, and when you still didn't wake up, I ran as fast as I could to find Rikuo. Since then, I've been thinking about that…about all the things you might have seen, or felt…"

Kazahaya saw his concern. "I didn't really see much," he lied. "I glimpsed Mukofujiwara for a moment, but your emotions were so powerful that I just blacked out for awhile."

Lying had never felt so good; the relief that flooded Nayuki's face made him feel lighter. "I'm so glad," he whispered. "There are some things in my past…sometimes I think about them, and I was so afraid for you…but I knew, I _knew _you'd see Mukofujiwara."

"…You really love him, don't you?"

Nayuki looked out the window, a small smile playing across his face. He looked through the glass, beyond at something Kazahaya couldn't see. "Yes," he said after a time. "I really do."

"…I think he loves you, too…" He felt awkward saying it, but Nayuki only smiled more broadly, nodding.

"And you and Rikuo…?"

"We're _not _in love, if that's what you're asking. We're in _hate._"

The boy laughed. "I didn't think you'd exactly fall for one another, but I was wondering if things had gotten any better…and if you were mad at me for talking to him…"

Kazahaya reassured him and explained the situation, how he thought this was an elaborate trap Rikuo was setting up. "He said he'd punish me if I was late – _punish _me!"

"If it makes you feel better, you should have seen him when he came back and found you lying there, bleeding…I don't know him very well at all. I think the most I ever talked to him was a few days ago, but judging by the look on his face…I don't think you need to worry about him beating you or anything like that."

"I'm not worried about _that_." Kazahaya shuddered. "You don't understand – he's – he's – he's a _pervert! _He didn't say what he'd do, but he's…I think he…_likes _me."

Nayuki burst out laughing again; Kazahaya reddened with embarrassment. He looked so much _younger _than him, but as he laughed at him, Kazahaya got the sense that _he _was the young one. Nayuki's laughter dissolved into a knowing chuckle.

"Well," he said, grinning, "I won't argue with you about that. So…don't be late. Seems simple enough."

Kazahaya frowned. "Late? I'm not taking my chances. I'm never going to leave the room. I'll just stay there all day – we'll see how he likes _that! _He won't get a chance to do anything _weird…_"

Nayuki set his tea down. "Oh, that's too bad. I was wondering, if you had nothing to do for the next two weeks, if you'd like to help me. We're getting ready for the harvest; it's a lot of work to keep track of the crates and supplies, shipments and destinations…mostly just paperwork. I don't do any of the physical labor myself. But, if you'd rather just stay there…"

Kazahaya accepted, eager to have something to do with his time. Nayuki was unable to hide his delight. "I can't offer you payment, because, well…you're like me, but if there's anything else I could do for you…?"

"A watch." Kazahaya stared at him levelly. "I'll help in whatever way I can, but first, I _need _a watch."

* * *

><p>Kazahaya was a nervous wreck.<p>

Nayuki had given him an old pocketwatch, rusted from disuse, its hands still sluggishly ticking along somehow. He'd shown him around the grounds, acquainting him with the edge of the manor, and all the while Kazahaya glanced at the time, determined to be back early. _It's three thirty…I've got plenty of time, _he thought as they walked back inside. A tall, stately grandfather clock stood in the drawing room.

"Nayuki." He looked at the clock, struggling to comprehend it. "Why does that clock say its four thirty?"

"Four thirty?" Nayuki glanced at it and colored. "I guess because…it's four thirty."

He wrenched the pocket watch out and looked down at it. If _that _clock was correct, than his was an hour slow…

"I'll see you tomorrow!" He didn't wait for a reply; Kazahaya was out the door, sprinting down the hill.

_Be back by five! Be back by five! _His mind shouted the words like a mantra; a cramp was developing in his side, but still he ran, splashing through puddles in the courtyard as he wound back toward the commons, through the corridors, passed the kitchens -

Rikuo was waiting for him in the room, his arms crossed over his chest, eyes stern…and a wicked, small smile on his face as Kazahaya burst through the door, gasping. Rikuo's smile was practically unnoticeable; _no, it's not a smile – it's a smirk, _Kazahaya thought, struggling to catch his breath.

"You're late."

"It was – my first – day," he panted. "I'm not – late – yet –"

Rikuo uncrossed his arms, drawing out a pocketwatch of his own from his doublet. "You're two minutes late."

"_Two minutes? _I ran – all the way – _here_!"

"And you're in trouble. Shut the door."

Kazahaya colored; he turned and closed the door. Rikuo advanced until Kazahaya's back was pressed firmly against the wood; his master rested an arm on the wall above him, leaning in. He reached down, tilting Kazahaya's face up to meet his gaze.

"So." Rikuo leaned in closer. Kazakaya felt himself beginning to tremble involuntarily; their lips were almost touching, and for a minute he saw Mukofujiwara in his mind, kissing Nayuki on the forehead. "_So…_it's your first day of freedom. You were _that _curious to find out how I would punish you, huh?" When Kazahaya didn't speak, he reached up, running his thumb along the boy's lips. Rikuo smirked at the way Kazahaya jumped in his skin. "Nothing to say? You're usually so obstinate." He reached for his hair, twining the strands in his fingers.

Kazahaya was growing increasingly anxious; Rikuo closed his fingers, gripping the boy's hair. He pulled his head back, exposing his throat. Leaning in, he kissed the tender, exposed skin below his collar, his grip tightening on the boy; Kazahaya flinched back against the wall as Rikuo moved up, kissing above the collar now, tracing up his throat with his tongue, under his jaw line.

Kazahaya was shaking. "Master, you said – you said you wouldn't –"

Rikuo kissed him, smothering his words. He pressed his body against him, pinning him to the door, both hands cupping his face, tilting it back as his tongue slid past uncertain lips, into a body that was shaking, a bundle of nerves, below him.

When he pulled away, Kazahaya gasped, his face flushed, and sank to the floor. Rikuo stepped back, satisfied.

"A small transgression brought you only a small punishment."

The boy looked up, dizzy. "That's – that's all? Is that it?" Rikuo wanted to laugh at how _hopeful _he sounded. He leaned down, hooking his finger through the collar ring, and dragged him back up to his feet.

"I said I wouldn't hurt you," he whispered, his lips brushing against the very edge of the boy's earlobe. "In fact, if you disobey me, I won't cause you any _pain…_so I suggest you be very, _very _good unless you want to kiss me again."

"I don't," he squeaked.

Rikuo chuckled darkly. "Then be on your best behavior. Be on time tomorrow."

Kazahaya didn't need to be told twice; he told Rikuo where he was spending his time, and for two days, he'd gone to work with Nayuki, filling his time with the hot summer air, and doing his best – his very, very best – to not think about the way Rikuo had kissed him, pressed against him… It made his heart race in an embarrassing way. _I hate him! _He thought, but still he found it hard to look away when Mukofujiwara stopped by one afternoon; he kissed Nayuki again and touched the boy's shoulder as if to say 'I love you,' and did it all as if it was second nature. For a brief moment, he wondered what it would be like if Rikuo treated him that way.

Then he grit his teeth, cursing the man.

Meanwhile, Rikuo seemed to grow less and less pleased with his slave's ability to be on time. On the third day, Kazahaya was certain that he frowned when he came back before five. _He wants me to be late, _he had realized that night, lying in his cot on the floor, _this is all just a game to him. Too bad I won't give him the chance… _

The next day, Kazahaya came back early to spite Rikuo, only to find him waiting in his quarters, seated and _smirking. _Kazahaya frowned; he knew that smirk and what it meant.

Rikuo had held up a large, sealed envelope. "Take this to the clerk," he said.

Kazahaya paused. "The clerk?"

"Yes. And be back here within ten minutes."

It _felt _like a trap, but still, he was certain he could handle it. Kazahaya sighed, snatched the envelope, and set out into the commons, asking for the clerk. Ten minutes came and went; it was a half hour before he had tracked down someone who knew where to find the clerk's quarters, and with a surge of fury, Kazahaya had discovered that even if he_ had _known where to find the man, the task could be completed in no less than a half hour.

He was an hour late when he finally came back, slamming the door behind him.

"That wasn't fair," he began to protest, but Rikuo had already stood, and now his smirk had transformed into a _grin. _

"So?"

"_So_?" Kazahaya's eyes flashed. "You can't punish me for something that was impossible to begin with!"

"Actually, I can do whatever I want." Rikuo crossed the room in three strides, whispering into his ear. "And you'd do well to remember that. Now, lift up your arms."

For a fleeting moment, Kazahaya thought about fighting him, or turning around and running. _If you run, they'll catch you, and you've heard about what happens to slaves who run away…and you can't fight him, he's huge! _He sighed at the futility of the situation, raising his arms into the air.

Rikuo lifted his shirt away and stepped back; he began to undo his belt. Kazahaya swallowed thickly as his master pulled off the strip of leather, the belt buckle shining in the lamplight.

"Are you – are you going to whip me?" He had backed up against the door, the wood cool against his bare skin.

Rikuo rolled his eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you? No. And don't question me, Kazahaya. Go kneel by the bed; face away from it. Put your back toward the bed post."

Kazahaya walked past him without making eye contact. _Whatever he does, it's not as bad as getting whipped, _he tried to reassure himself. He shuddered at the thought of the metal buckle hitting him; Kakei and Saiga had always treated him with respect, but he'd heard stories of things he hoped Rikuo wasn't capable of…

Kazahaya knelt onto his knees, his back against the bedpost. Rikuo followed and pulled his arms above him, looping the belt around his wrists above a notch in the wood.

"Try and pull down."

Kazahaya squirmed uncomfortably, yanking down; the belt wouldn't slide below the notch, and the buckle held out against his strain. Satisfied, Rikuo knelt in front of Kazahaya, his hands sliding along his bare chest.

_What am I feeling…_Kazahaya shivered. He was nervous, scared – but also…_I don't understand what this. _Rikuo leaned in, kissing his neck, the hollow of his collarbone, his chest…He began to lick his left nipple, flicking at it with his tongue, nipping with his teeth. His lips crushed against his body, sucking on it. Kazahaya gasped involuntarily, straining to move his chest away from that mouth, that _heat, _that _feeling…_

With a start, Kazahaya bit down on his lip; _I'm…I'm….oh god, I think I'm…_Rikuo's eyes were closed; he couldn't see how flushed Kazahaya was growing. _I think I'm starting to get aroused, _he thought, cold dread flooding through him. _Don't let him notice…don't notice…don't let that pervert notice…_

Rikuo's hand had found his other nipple; he pinched the flesh hard enough to elicit a yelp from the boy, rolling the hardening form between his thumb and index finger.

_I don't understand – is this me? Are these my feelings…or is this HIM, and I'm just channeling it…it has to be him, I don't feel this way…I hate him…I…_ Kazahaya sucked in his breath; Rikuo had switched the object of his attention, swirling his tongue around the other nipple now, biting at the skin.

He pulled back suddenly, his face carefully blank, but his eyes full of amusement.

"Well," he said, and as he spoke, his hand moved lower, touching the outline of Kazahaya's hardened member in his pants, "I'm flattered."


	7. Chapter 7

He was trembling, dizzy; Rikuo touched him through the cloth, his fingertips dragging along the outline sensually.

"You're being awfully quiet, Kazahaya…" Rikuo leaned in, kissing him; below, he grasped him with just enough pressure to make the boy's lips part in a tortured moan. "That's more like it…"

He was caressing his balls with one hand, toying with his nipple with the other, kissing him – Kazahaya was lost, a trembling body overwhelmed by too much stimulation. His mind was drowning in pleasure – but whose pleasure, he couldn't tell.

Rikuo pulled back, sitting back so that his legs were folded beneath him. He stared at the pitiful creature in front of him; Kazahaya was gasping, his body glistening with sweat, goosebumps along his skin. With his hands bound above him, he leaned forward on his knees, too weak to remain upright, supported by the belt.

"You look like a mess." He tried not to chuckle as he said it.

Kazahaya was blinking slowly, as if dazed – his eyes seemed oddly cloudy. "I feel like a mess," he admitted.

"You know, since this is a punishment, you're not supposed to be enjoying yourself." Rikuo pointed at Kazahaya's hardness; the boy blushed and turned his head away, embarrassed. "But you wouldn't be hard unless you liked it when I touch you…" He leaned forward, this time unbuttoning the boy's pants. Rikuo slipped his hand inside and grasped his member; Kazahaya gasped, his body jerking upright as his master tightened his grip, stroking. "So, once again, you're making this hard on me. I'm going to have to come up with something you _don't _enjoy…otherwise, what's the point?" Kazahaya managed a nonsensical reply, a small noise caught somewhere between a gasp and a groan. "Exactly. And to think, all I ask of you is to be on time…you'd think that wouldn't be so hard." Rikuo kissed his neck and removed his hand, smirking openly at the way the boy craned his head back, his eyes heavy with longing.

He pulled Kazahaya's pants down until they lay crumpled on the ground, bundled around his knees. "I think I have an idea," he said conversationally as he rose and walked away, fishing around in his dresser for something. When he knelt in front of Kazahaya again, the boy seemed to have recovered his senses. He looked up at Rikuo warily, his chest rising and falling with the effort to catch his breath.

"What is that?"

"These? Just jewelry." Rikuo held up a strand of pearls, breaking into a grin. Kazahaya was looking at him with utter bewilderment. "I inherited them from my father; they most likely belonged to one of his mistresses." He shrugged. "I haven't gotten around to selling them. Luckily, I think I might get some use out of them after all…"

"You want me to wear them?" It was cute watching the way Kazahaya's brain was struggling behind his eyes to make sense of the situation.

Rikuo came closer. "Kazahaya, what have I said about you questioning me? And no, I don't want you to _wear _them…" He reached down and cupped his balls, pulling them forward. Kazahaya flushed crimson, biting down on his lip. He squirmed as Rikuo wrapped half of the length of the strand around the base of his balls, looping it until it was tight, reaching under and through...

"_Rikuo!_"

"_Now _you're _really _in trouble." Rikuo pressed upward, slipping one pearl inside him, but not penetrating Kazahaya himself. He wanted to press into the boy and discover, for the first time, what it was like to be inside of him, yet he restrained himself, slowly pushing another pearl up and in.

"M-master," Kazahaya mumbled against his chest. "I – _please _– this…_ah…_"

Rikuo chuckled. "What's the matter, Kazahaya? It's not like you're a virgin."

"…_nng….yes!_" His back arched suddenly away from the intruder, his eyes closing.

Rikuo had pressed the remaining length of the necklace into him. He stopped, amazed. Kazahaya might not have been trained or used for sex, but a boy with his looks… His pretenses fell away. "Are you really a virgin?" He asked, disbelieving. The way the boy trembled, twisted, sweat – Rikuo thought he was just hyper-sensitive. _Not only is he not a sex slave…he's completely inexperienced. _

He felt sheepish and guilty suddenly, unable to look away from Kazahaya, whose big eyes were shut, his body taunt. _What is it he calls me? Pervert. I actually feel like a pervert now. That son of a bitch…_

"Well, that's not important," he lied in an attempt to recover the situation; his inner voice shouted at him, _not important! It's everything! _He shoved away the guilty feeling and lifted Kazahaya's chin with his fingertips. "Open your eyes and look at me," he ordered.

His body had slackened; it was as if he had completely relaxed. Kazahaya's eyes opened, and Rikuo fell backwards, startled.

It wasn't Kazahaya. He wasn't sure how he knew, but there was something about the way his pupils were dilated, as if he wasn't focusing – _as if he's not here – _that made him suddenly cold. His face was expressionless, empty, and his eyes seemed clouded over, staring through a mist into a time and place he couldn't see at a person that wasn't him.

"Kaza…Kazahaya?"

"_I love you._"

Rikuo's eyes widened. It was Kazahaya's voice that spoke, but it was a tone he had never used…_and words he would never say. _"Kazahaya – snap out of it!"

"_I need you._"

Rikuo reached forward to grab his hair and shake some sense into his skull, but the boy moved his cheek against his palm suddenly, sighing in contentment. "_They're perfect," _he said. "_I'll always cherish them._"

"What are you talking about?"

An empty gaze lifted up to meet his own. "_Did you pick them out yourself?_ _This means so much to me…_"

Understanding dawned suddenly as he stared into those eyes, eyes that were empty, filled with the ghost of a lost memory.

"Kazahaya," he said, frightened without understanding why, "You're probably going to find this…unpleasant." He reached down, and with one swift, uncompromising motion, yanked out the length of pearls from his insides, hastily undoing the knot around his balls.

The moment they had left his skin, tossed to the floor, it was as if a candle had been snuffed out. Kazahaya's eyes widened to their fullest and then fell shut; he slumped forward, unconscious.

"Kazahaya!" Rikuo grasped his shoulders, shaking him. "Kazahaya – wake up!" _Not this again – wake up, wake up, wake up…_

"…master…?" The boy stirred, heavy eyelids opening now as he blinked. "What just happened?"

"You tell me." He wasn't sure why he was angry suddenly, but his voice was shaking with the force of it. _You're angry at him because you were scared…and you hate that he could make you feel that way. Is it too hard to be honest with yourself? _His own voice lashed out at him in his head.

Kazahaya stared at him. "I don't know…you were doing something…_um_," he blushed, "_something _with the necklace…the necklace." His eyes fell on the discarded pearls. "Oh," he said, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, "Did I disappear?"

"You're damn right you did."

He pressed his back against the bedpost sheepishly. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"If something is strong enough to possess me, I won't remember it. Sometimes I'll experience something myself, or black out completely, or just see an image, feel an emotion – it's unpredictable. But I can feel…" He stopped suddenly and stared at Rikuo warily. "…all sorts of things," he finished lamely, as if he had wanted to say something else entirely.

"You started talking to me, but it wasn't you."

"Well, sorry, it's not like I had any control over it."

"How do you _live_?" He glared at Kazahaya. "Door handles, chairs, clothing, windows – _everything _– how do you even make it through a day without blacking out or being possessed?"

"Skin," he said quietly. "You forgot 'skin.'"

"_Skin?_"

He looked away, his eyes staring down at his own nakedness. Rikuo's brow furrowed. He leaned forward and pressed his hand against Kazahaya's chest; for once, the boy didn't jump.

Instead, he sighed.

"…Can you channel me when I touch you?"

"Yes." He sounded miserable. "I'm not _trying _to…but I can't help it." Rikuo remembered the way Kazahaya had looked before he was possessed, before when the pearls weren't touching him – when _he _was touching the boy. Kazahaya had gasped like a man in the throes of pleasure, had looked at him with lust and longing…and with a sick feeling, he realized that Kazahaya had just been a mirror for his own emotions.

"What am I feeling?"

Kazahaya cringed. "You're angry at me. When I channel you, it's like I experience it…it's like being angry at myself."

Rikuo pulled away and stood up. The game had gone differently than he imagined. Fuming, he stared down at his slave.

"I had planned to untie you when we were done. When you first explained your – _talent – _you didn't tell me you could channel me by _touching _me_. _You didn't even mention people – you said _things. _Don't you think that's something I should have known about?"

Kazahaya didn't answer.

"So you can stay like that tonight. And don't speak until I give you permission to. Whenever that might be." Turning on his heel, he left to get dinner, slamming the door behind him.

When he returned later in the evening, his anger had subsided into general annoyance. Kazahaya was still on his knees, arms still tied at the wrists above him by his belt. He knew it was an uncomfortable position; Kazahaya's wrists were pinned too high up for him to be able to stretch out and sit down. His head hung forward, eyes shut. He wanted to undo the belt and let him sleep on his cot, but his mind still reeled. _Don't be so soft – you're not hurting him. It's just uncomfortable. You need to teach him a lesson. _

_So I'm punishing him after all, _he thought, climbing into bed. Rikuo hardly slept; he kept tossing and turning, his thoughts furious. He was attracted to Kazahaya and wanted him more badly than he could stand; he'd woken up from wet dreams for three nights now, imagining what it would be like to take him into his bed, into his arms. The solution, he had thought, would be to push him, bit by bit, to come around to wanting him on his own accord, but no matter how impatient Rikuo was, he didn't want to take him by force. He didn't mind toying with him, teasing with him, tying him up, if he had to…but _that _he could not do. The tight way his heart constricted when he looked at the boy was a reminder of how powerless he was. _He's your slave – and who's in control?_

But what Kazahaya felt, or didn't feel, Rikuo couldn't imagine; part of him now wanted to capitalize on the fact that Kazahaya was essentially a conduit for his own feelings. _You want to fuck him – just HUG HIM until he gets overcome and you can finally get it over with! _

'_Finally'? _He laughed at himself, rolling over again. _How long have you had him for? Little more than a week? How desperate are you… _He couldn't mock himself; Kazahaya made him desperate in a way he hated to think about but was forced to acknowledge. Still, using his own feelings to manipulate the boy just seemed…wrong.

_So get this figured out. You know what you want. He's your slave. He's YOURS, _his own mind reminded him, but still, when morning came, Rikuo felt no better rested; his mind had paced the same fruitless route for hours.

He rose and dressed quietly; Kazahaya didn't stir. Finally, Rikuo knelt in front of him; _don't touch him, _he reminded himself, but Kazahaya had a way of destroying his self control. He reached out and touched his face, lifting his hair away.

Large, brown eyes opened slowly. Kazahaya blinked at him.

"Wake up, Kazahaya."

"Master…I can't feel my arms…can I lie down…please…?"

_You told him not to speak without permission…you're not good at this at all. _Rikuo felt guilty as he undid the buckle; Kazahaya's arms fell down to his sides, and without asking for permission, he slumped down onto his cot. Rikuo watched him lie there, frowning.

"I'll send a message to Nayuki and let him know not to expect you."

Kazahaya's eyes opened wearily. "Am I not allowed to go?"

"You want to go? I thought…you look like you should rest."

Kazahaya stretched and forced himself to sit up. "I want to go."

Rikuo nodded and walked to the door. "Kazahaya…I'll see you later."

"Five o'clock," he heard the boy mutter behind him. Rikuo sighed, shut the door, and resolved to punch Kakei in the face the next time he saw him.

* * *

><p>Nayuki was a patient listener, made all the more so by his willingness to quietly sit through Kazahaya's stuttering, his furious rambles, and his general embarrassment at discussing how <em>physical <em>his master wanted to be with him.

"So what did he do to make this a really big issue?" Nayuki asked again, but still Kazahaya couldn't articulate how Rikuo had belted his wrists to the bedpost, kissed and licked his body, touched him, and the pearls…

"Just stuff," he said quickly. "It's not important. It's just – it's frustrating," he said again. He'd been saying that for ten minutes now.

Nayuki sipped his tea thoughtfully and decided not to pry any further. "I can tell you want to ask me something. That's why you're here, isn't it?"

Kazahaya looked away, out at the orchards. The edge of the hunting grounds loomed at the far end of the sunlit fields, the shadows dark on the ground from the dense foliage. It stretched for miles. "I…yea. Okay. Um…how did you know you liked Mukofujiwara?"

Nayuki smiled. "I felt it. In here." He touched his chest, over his heart.

Kazahaya sighed. "Oh."

"I can understand why that might be a problem for you…are you wondering if you like Rikuo?"

"_No!" _

Nayuki nodded and tried to fight away a knowing smile. "Okay, so you're not. _But, _if you _were_, and I was you, given what you can do…I'd be pretty frustrated. I wouldn't know if what I was feeling was my feelings or just someone else's emotions."

"Luckily, _I _know I'm not feeling anything. I'm just curious about you. Is all. Really," he finished lamely.

Nayuki merely nodded again. "Well…with me…it was hard, I think. For Mukofujiwara, I mean. I still don't know why he ever bought me, which is different – you know exactly why Rikuo bought you." Kazahaya didn't laugh. Nayuki smiled and continued. "But he did. He was very kind, and often left me alone, in peace. I was a little afraid of him, but after a while, I started to seek him out, to want to be near him. I didn't think I would be with anyone again, after –" He stopped suddenly and looked into his tea. "Well, I just never thought I would be with anyone, is all. It was hard to imagine. And then, one day, I was sitting right here…and he came in and sat next to me. Neither of us spoke. He just reached over and held my hand, and we sat there like that for the whole afternoon. Things just went from there." He smiled at the memory.

Kazahaya felt that same odd stirring of jealousy again. "Rikuo doesn't hold my hand – Rikuo belts me to his bed and touches me _there _and does things with his _t-tongue_!"

Nayuki blinked in surprise. "Oh. So that's what he did. Did you like it?"

Kazahaya flushed furiously. "He's a pervert."

The boy smiled slyly at his evasive answer. "So you're not sure if how you felt at the time was you or him, but at least one of you…well, I guess, _technically _both of you, enjoyed it. That's…huh." His brow furrowed as he tried to imagine the situation. "Well, I'm not sure how you would go about figuring that out. But…if you're at least _wondering, _then maybe you're at least willing to consider you might like him. A little."

"I _don't,_" he hissed.

"Well, maybe not in that _way,_" he backtracked. "_I_ wouldn't like that, personally. Can you imagine yourself with him?"

"I'm with him every day," he complained, but Nayuki shook his head.

"I meant _with _him. As in, sex."

Kazahaya looked as if an arrow had gone straight through his heart. "_Sex?_" He paled. "No. Definitely not."

Nayuki was looking at him curiously. "And is that because you don't find him attractive or because you've never had sex before?"

"What does _that _matter?" He was fidgeting now.

Nayuki gave him a kind look. "Believe me, it matters a lot."

Kazahaya's reply was almost too quiet to hear. "…never had sex…" He huffed, and in a tone of utter bitterness, added, "And I do think he's attractive. But not to me."

"Of course."

"Isn't it…weird…being with another guy?"

"Nothing is weird when you're with someone you care about."

When Kazahaya had nothing to reply, Nayuki stood. "Well, if you ask me, I think Rikuo is just moving too fast for you…which, given the reason why he bought you in the first place, probably feels like too slow to him. So, if I were you, I'd make a point to be on time from now on!"

Dejected, Kazahaya slumped into the cushions, trying very hard – and ineffectually – not to think about Rikuo's hands on his body.


	8. Chapter 8

It would have been easy to be on time; in fact, he could have been early, but Kazahaya paced the corridors, watching the pocketwatch's hands move past five…five fifteen…

_I'm doing this to figure myself out, _he thought. _Whatever he does, I'll at least know if it's me – or him. But it's got to be him. I know it's him._

_ So then why are you late? _He asked himself as he pushed through the door.

Rikuo was lying on his bed, fully clothed, arms behind his head. He was staring up at the ceiling when Kazahaya walked in.

"You're late. Again."

"I know."

"You know?" Rikuo turned and looked at him curiously. Kazahaya had come and stood at the foot of the bed, staring at him. "Well, I'm surprised. Come on," he said, sitting up. "Let's go get dinner."

Kazahaya remained frozen, surprised. "But…I thought…I'm late." He was suddenly aware of how stupid he sounded.

Now Rikuo was staring at him more than curiously. "And you're in trouble, but _I'm _hungry. Let's go."

They ate in the commons in silence; Kazahaya remembered what Nayuki had said and kept glancing at Rikuo furtively. What would it be like to just hold Rikuo's hand? His heart beat a little faster at the thought.

_Hold his hand? He wants to get you naked and have sex with you! Have you lost your mind?_

He squirmed uncomfortably, his appetite lost, his nerves shot. _What's wrong with holding hands? _He thought miserably, poking at his meal.

Rikuo studied him carefully. "Kazahaya…are you alright?"

_Does he sound…worried? No. _"I'm fine," he said.

"What are you thinking about?"

"What makes you think I'm thinking about anything?" His hackles rose instinctually; Rikuo frowned him.

"What makes you think you can question me?" His voice lowered. "Answer my question."

_Just lie. _"I was thinking about Nayuki, is all."

It worked; Rikuo went back to eating, and when they were done, Kazahaya followed him back to his quarters.

No sooner had the door shut had Rikuo began to undo his belt. "Take off your shirt," he ordered.

"Not that _again…_"

Rikuo frowned at him. "No, but I'm starting to think it should be."

"Master…" Kazahaya sighed, defeated, and decided not to protest. He let the shirt drop and felt Rikuo pull his arms behind his back, wrapping the belt around them tightly, buckling them at the wrist.

"If you struggle, you'll regret it."

"Why would I struggle?" Kazahaya felt Rikuo turn him around, lifting his face up to his, cool lips kissing his forehead.

"Exactly," Rikuo said. "You just be obedient. _For once. _If that's even possible."

"I meant, what are you going to do that would make me struggle?"

"Lie on your back. On the ground."

"But my hands –!"

Rikuo shoved him to his knees and pushed him down backwards; his arms were uncomfortable beneath him. He tried to follow Rikuo with his eyes and gave up; he had moved out of his line of vision. Kazahaya stared miserably up at the ceiling.

Rikuo returned, kneeling next to him, placing something to the side. Kazahaya watched, curious, as he tugged on a pair of what appeared to be riding gloves.

A strong arm reached forward, resting a gloved hand on his chest. "Can you channel me?"

"No." The barrier between their skin prevented the flow of feeling.

Kazahaya's stomach turned over: Rikuo's response was a smirk. _I know what that means…_

"You look suddenly…_uneasy_." Rikuo reached down and picked up what Kazahaya could now see was a small candle on a handstand. "That's not surprising."

Two large eyes narrowed. "What are you doing to do with that…"

Rikuo's smirk turned into a small grin. "An experiment. I promised I wouldn't hurt you – this won't hurt. It'll _feel _like it's hurting, but only for a second."

"Wait -!"

Kazahaya's plea came too late; Rikuo reached forward, dripping the hot wax onto his chest. Each drop felt like a small eruption of liquid fire on his chest; he cried out and tried to roll away, but another gloved hand caught him by the collar, pinning him by his neck. It seared with an intensity that made him want to cry – but only for a moment, and then just as quickly as he had felt the burning, the wax was cooling, hardening on his skin.

Kazahaya groaned as Rikuo released him; he lifted his head up just enough to stare down at his chest. The liquid pools of wax had turned into droplets of opaque, hardened pearly whiteness.

Rikuo brushed the side of his cheek, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "Not so bad, huh?"

Kazahaya glared at him, silent, as his master set the candle down, lifting up something that glittered in the lamplight.

"Kazahaya – relax!" Rikuo pushed his shoulder down roughly; the boy's eyes had widened in alarm, feet kicking him backwards in an effort to scramble away. Gripped firmly in Rikuo's grasp, the long, straight blade of a dirk pointed down at him.

Kazahaya's voice caught in his throat; his heart was slamming against his rib cage. "Y-you said –"

"That I wouldn't hurt you. I meant it. Lie _still_."

It took all of his effort to conquer his will and lay back onto the floor, bracing himself for whatever came next.

His outburst had momentarily distracted Rikuo; after a minute of silence, Kazahaya opened his eyes carefully, peering up at his master.

"Kazahaya – are you _slow_? What, did you think I would stab you or something?" He looked down at him incredulously, as if he couldn't believe that _he _could believe it.

"No," he answered truthfully. "Not that."

"What then?"

The boy shivered. "I've heard about things people do with knives."

Rikuo smirked a little. "Sex things? This isn't that type of knife."

"People do s-sex things…with _knives?_" Kazahaya paled. "Please…no…"

Rikuo waved it away. "No, I'm not into that."

Kazahaya glanced down at the candle wax on his chest, felt the belt around his wrists, and wasn't entirely convinced Rikuo wasn't 'into that.' "No, what I meant was carving something into my skin, like your initials…some people do that to their slaves."

"If I was going to do that, why would I pour hot wax all over you?"

His head fell back against the floor with a weary thud. "Why _did _you pour hot wax all over me?"

"Actually…" Rikuo leaned in close; his voice tickled his neck. "It's a lesson in trust. Now lie _very _still…and look at me."

Rikuo placed one gloved hand on his torso, bringing the knife up. Kazahaya bit his lip; it was hard to look at Rikuo when his hand was moving over him, the dirk's blade, cold, pressed against his skin…

He shivered involuntarily as the blade slipped under the first cooled pool of wax; the movement was so delicate and restrained that it felt like cold water sliding against a small portion of his body, so different from the heat left behind by the wax. Rikuo slipped the knife edge carefully under wax that had fallen near the base of his neck, peeling off each new area as he moved down, creating alternatively hot and cool islands of sensation.

Kazahaya tried to keep his eyes on Rikuo's, but his eyelids weighed heavily down with pleasure. _This feels good…that fucking bastard, this feels good and he knew it would…fuck him…_He cursed Rikuo half-heartedly even as he exhaled deeply, his skin tingling from sensitivity.

"_Ah!_"

"I told you to keep your eyes on me…" Rikuo had moved his free hand down to his pants, rubbing his member softly through the fabric. "And look…you're flattering me again."

"Ung…" Kazahaya squirmed, craning his body up; he could feel himself stiffening uncomfortably in his pants. "N-no, I'm not…" He tried to protest, but Rikuo was smirking again, holding up his gloved hands in triumph.

"Gloves – no skin contact. I _thought _my slave was getting too much enjoyment out of his punishments…guess I was right. I'll bet you were even late today on purpose."

Kazahaya flushed with embarrassment. "No, you kissed me earlier, that's touching –"

"Once. _Briefly. _So now I guess I have to find new ways to punish you, because I have no doubt you'll find new ways to disobey me. It's your _other _special talent."

"N-new ways!"

"Ways you won't find pleasurable. And I really thought I could get you under control this way…" Rikuo suddenly pretended to be very interested in his dagger; Kazahaya's hair was on end with alarm.

"Master, please, I don't like this, I promise!"

Rikuo brought the dagger to his lips; he bit down on the tip. "That's why you have an erection?"

Kazahaya brought his knees together shamefully. "It's not like I enjoy this! You're just a pervert who makes me do things I hate, and _this _happens!"

"Things you hate?" Rikuo put the blade down and looked at him thoughtfully. "Your punishment isn't over yet – let's talk about those _things _you hate." He leaned down over him, one knee edging his legs apart. "What do you _really _hate, Kazahaya? Do you hate it when I touch you…here?" Kazahaya gasped; Rikuo's grip, even through his pants, was strong. "Or when I lick you…like this?"

His master teased him, watching the boy grow more flushed, sweat dampening his brow, until finally he pulled upward, touching the boy's hair. "So what do you _hate _the most, Kazahaya? What should I do now, to end your punishment? Would you hate it I pulled your pants down…if I finished you off?"

Kazahaya opened hazy eyes clouded with desire, his breathing labored.

"Kiss me."

"Kiss you?" Rikuo blinked at him, surprised. Kazahaya was shaking on the edge of an orgasm…and he wanted to be kissed.

He bit his bottom lip in that nervous way of his, nodding. "…I'd hate that…the most."

Rikuo pressed against him closer on the floor. "And how can I be sure this isn't a trick? Maybe you really _want _me to kiss you…"

"No," he said, too quickly. "A-and…I'd especially hate it…if you…if…."

"If I _what_?" Rikuo whispered into his ear, kissing his earlobe. He began to reach down toward his pants, preparing to unbutton and slide them off, when he heard Kazahaya's voice, a half whisper of raw nerves and emotion.

"…if you kissed me…_nicely_…"

Rikuo's hand stopped mid-reach. Bewildered, he looked down at Kazahaya, who didn't even have the presence of mind to try and hide how _hopeful _he looked.

"Nicely, huh?" Rikuo rolled his eyes to toy with him, but stopped; Kazahaya suddenly looked crushed, cringing under him. "Kazahaya…" He pulled off his gloves, cupping the boy's face with his bare hands, and pressed their lips together in a slow, tender kiss.

Kazahaya kissed him back, tentatively, a beginner wandering down a road never traveled, never attempting to push past his lips with his tongue or incite in him any carnal desires; Kazahaya kissed him with all the newness of someone enraptured by the sheer feeling of how _soft, _how _impossibly_ soft_, _silky, gentle, lips could be.

They kissed for a quarter of an hour until Rikuo stopped to brush Kazahaya's long bangs out of his eyes. "So. Kissing," he said, catching his breath. "You hate kissing. What else do you hate?"

Kazhaya was flushed. He looked away and shifted uncomfortably. "I would really hate it…really…if you were to hold my hands…"

Rikuo reached under him and unfastened the belt, tugging it off his arms. He drew them out from under Kazahaya, their fingers entwining as he pulled them above his head. They kissed again, but this time Kazahaya opened his mouth haltingly to accommodate the soft tongue that slid over his lips, Rikuo's fingers laced through his own.

A half hour passed before they finally broke apart. Rikuo stood hastily, his cock throbbing, and climbed into his bed. He wanted to fuck the boy desperately; every kiss became harder to pull back from, drawing him closer to an edge Kazahaya wouldn't want to go over.

"Be on time tomorrow!" He grunted, snuffing out the bedside lamp.

Kazahaya moved to his cot, his face flush.

He knew he'd be late again.

* * *

><p>Kazahaya wouldn't admit to himself that he was disappointed when he came back at six o'clock the next day to find Rikuo entirely nonplussed. His master didn't comment on the lateness, not during dinner, not after, and when they returned to their quarters, he said he would be going out for a bit in the evening and would be back later. When, well into nightfall, he returned, Kazahaya was sure he'd be in trouble… But Rikuo only announced that he was taking the day off tomorrow, and that they would be going on a picnic, and that Kazahaya was to stop by the kitchens first thing in the morning to collect their food.<p>

_This is a trap, _Kazahaya thought as he collected the whicker basket, returning to find Rikuo dressed with a blanket under one arm. "We're going to the orchards," his master announced. "Keep up. We're walking."

It was a long walk, made longer by the intense sun. The dog days of summer were stretching onward, baking the world. After two hours of walking, Kazahaya was grateful Rikuo picked a spot in the shade. He set down the basket, and when Rikuo had finished smoothing the blanket down in the grass, he collapsed onto it, his eyes sparkling in the sunlight.

"So, what are we going to eat?"

"Nothing yet." Rikuo sat, his back against a tree. Kazahaya looked up to see him taking off his belt, grinning wickedly. "Come here, Kazahaya."

The brunette's eyes narrowed. "I _hate _that belt. Why do you always have to use a _belt_?"

"You keep questioning me, you're going to get yourself in more trouble."

His face flushed pink. "Wait – what did I do now?"

"Remember yesterday?"

"But you didn't do anything…"

"Because I was waiting until today. Now, _come here._"

Kazahaya came forward, watching disdainfully as Rikuo spun his finger slowly, motioning for him to turn around. He turned his back to him and kneeled; Rikuo grasped his arms, pulling them behind his back; he laced the belt his arms, criss-crossing it like a ribbon, before he buckled it at his wrists. "There," he said, smiling as Kazahaya turned around, glaring. "You know, you probably wear my belt more than I do."

"Great," he muttered.

"So, I'll let you pick…A….or _B._"

"'A or B'?" Kazahaya gawked at him. Rikuo crossed his hands over his chest, deeply amused.

"Try not to enjoy the freedom too much. I'm letting you choose how you want to be punished – _A _or _B_."

"It's not really a choice if you don't tell me what they are!"

"Don't screech at me, kitty-cat."

Kazahaya glowered vengefully at him, furious at the pet name. "Fine. A."

"Are you _sure?_"

He rolled his eyes. "It doesn't matter. I can't make an informed choice."

"Suit yourself." Rikuo patted the ground next to him. "Then come here." Kazahaya walked forward on his knees, eyeing him warily. Their shoulders touched; he could see Rikuo's chest move as he spoke. "Are you listening to me?"

"Yes, master…"

Rikuo lifted his face with his hand, admiring his clear eyes and the shining defiance that radiated from Kazahaya's gaze. "I want you to kiss me on my collarbone, up my neck, my jaw, and when you get to my ear…" He was grinning deviously now at the way the blood had drained away from Kazahaya's face, "I want you to whisper to me how much you love it when your master punishes you."

"Y-you're a pervert," he sputtered. "Y-you can't be serious."

"Kazahaya…" He leaned forward, holding the boy's chin, and slid his tongue along Kazahaya's lips, pressing closer for a slow, seductive, taunting kiss. He pulled away; Kazahaya's eyes had gone slightly misty. "I'm very serious. Now, do as your master tells you." And he settled back, smirking.

Kazahaya leaned forward; it would have been easier to have hands to balance with. He was momentarily tempted to bite his master. _No, if you bite him, he might bite you back. _He shuddered.

Rikuo's skin was exposed just below his collarbone. He leaned in, breathing in the man's scent, and closed his eyes. It was different kissing skin than it was lips; _saltier, _he thought. He kissed him tentatively, peaking upward with a quick glance. Rikuo had closed his eyes; he could have been napping, for all he seemed to care. _He's just making me do this to embarrass me, _he thought furiously, kissing the crevice where the chords in his necks stood out. He dipped his tongue in, licking upward as he moved higher. Rikuo shifted, straining his neck as Kazahaya leaned into his body, kissing the side lightly as he moved up; he slid his tongue along the underside of his jaw, sure he was being awkward, when he heard Rikuo groan softly for just an instant. He had felt the sound more than he heard it, a quiet vibration in the back of this throat, but his eyes widened all the same to think that _he _had made Rikuo make a sound of…of what? _Pleasure? Did I make him do that…? _

A devilish streak flamed to life in him. Kazahaya licked under his jaw again, kissing his neckline until he came up, gliding his tongue along Rikuo's lips. His master's eyes opened.

"I didn't give you permission to kiss me there," he said.

"I didn't kiss you," Kazahaya protested. "I _licked_ you. There's a difference."

Dark eyes glinted. "I guess there is."

Kazahaya moved back to the side, feeling Rikuo's short hair against his temple as he leaned in close, sucking on his earlobe. Remembering what he was supposed to do, he had a sudden, nearly overwhelming temptation to bite down as hard as he could, just to hear Rikuo yell, and figured that would earn him a much harsher punishment. He ignored the fantasy and kissed the tender flesh a final time before pulling away.

"I love it when you punish me, master."

Rikuo laughed at how flat and insincere it sounded. "You don't sound very convincing. Try again."

Huffing, Kazahaya lowered his voice, and whispered close to him, "_Master…I love it when you punish me."_

Rikuo chuckled throatily. "So do I, Kazahaya."


	9. Chapter 9

Kazahaya yelped; Rikuo grabbed him by the collar, pulling him down across his lap. One arm curled around his torso, the fingertips pressing into his shoulder, holding him securely down as he squirmed. The other tugged at the back of his pants, yanking them down.

"M-Master!" Kazahaya struggled feebly, craning his neck to try and turn or roll onto his back. "What – what are you _doing_?"

"I said pick A or B. You picked A…which left me with B."

"You said A _or _B! You didn't say _both!"_

"You should learn to listen more carefully." He was glad he bound the boy's arms straight down; holding Kazahaya was like holding a very angry, rabid cat that did not like to be held. He had even begun to make the noises Rikuo would expect a rabid cat to make. "I let you choose how _you _wanted to be punished. Now, _I'm_ punishing you how _I _want to. So…be good."

Rikuo had managed to get his pants down to his thighs, exposing Kazahaya's backside. His skin was as pale as the rest of his body – _well, not for long – _he thought, grinning. He let his hand roam across it indulgently, grinning at the way Kazahaya writhed across his lap. He drew his hand back and slapped him, hard.

Kazahaya made an ear-splitting, yowling noise like a cat in heat. "Don't do that again," Rikuo ordered. "Damn, you could wake the _dead_." He slapped him again, watching the skin color.

"I c-can't b-believe you're…you're s-_spanking _me, you f-fucking p-prick!" Kazahaya's voice was trembling with rage; Rikuo slapped him again, harder, craning over him to whisper in his ear.

"Don't _ever _talk to your master like that, Kazahaya. And I'm not stupid – I know you were late on purpose. _Again._" Rikuo found a rhythm, spanking the boy until his skin had turned crimson.

"There," he said, "That wasn't so bad. Just think – I could have used a paddle. You'd have been bleeding if I had."

Across him, Kazahaya groaned.

"That shouldn't hurt anymore than the candle wax."

"Yes," he hissed. "It does."

"How badly?"

"It _stings_," came an acid response.

Rikuo chuckled. "Well, do as you're told next time." He hadn't let Kazahaya up yet; instead, his hand had absently lingered on the reddened skin, massaging the soft muscle. "How badly does it hurt?"

It was a minute before Kazahaya answered, and Rikuo knew the boy had become distracted by his movements. Kazahaya was considering his words carefully. "…Bad enough to teach me to follow orders next time…"

"Oh, I doubt it." Rikuo found his temples throbbing; his blood had begun to flow more quickly the longer he touched the boy. _He can feel what I'm feeling, as long as I keep touching him…_ "You know, I don't know why you always make me punish you."

Kazahaya sighed. "Not on purpose, that's for sure."

"Are you _positive?_" Rikuo held him a little tighter, feeling the boy's body freeze as he moved down to caress the back of his thigh. "I think you do these things on purpose because you _want _me to touch you like this."

"N-no, that's definitely not it!"

"You said you _hate _kissing and _hate _holding my hand…but about other things, I'm not so sure..." He moved up again, letting his fingers slide down between the cleft of his muscles, touching the soft tissue near his entrance. "Think about it from my perspective… you keep disobeying me, and I know you're doing it on purpose. It seems to me as if you _like _it when I punish you. But it doesn't have to be this way." Kazahaya had begun to shake. "I could reward you, too."

"H-how?" The word escaped in a gasp.

Rikuo penetrated him with his middle finger, gripping him as Kazahaya's body reacted as if under attack.

_"Master!"_

"Relax…" He pressed in deeper, his head swimming with the delicious sound of Kazahaya's breath hitching in short, strained gasps…he struggled for another minute as Rikuo continued to push in, caressing him with his other fingers, until he gave a shudder of defeat and lay still, quaking.

The boy's heat and tightness was almost too much to bear; he wanted to throw him on the ground and fuck him until he didn't know who he was. _One moment of pleasure…_he looked down at the boy across his lap and banished the selfish fantasy_. _He blinked hard, fighting against the rising heat in his own body, and felt gently for Kazahaya's prostate, pushing in deeply and bending his finger as slightly as he could manage, touching his inner walls and drinking in the sound of the boy's moans.

He knew he'd found it by the sound Kazahaya made; it was like the cry of a small bird whose wing had been stepped on underfoot. He applied a soft pressure and felt the boy harden beneath him.

He leaned further down, whispering into his ear again. "Kazahaya, I'm going to do something that I promise you're going to like."

"I d-doubt it," came a distracted reply. "You – you – pervert…I…."

"Well, we'll see then."

He pressed hard against the boy's sweet spot and nearly got knocked in the face: Kazahaya's back arched as he cried out, wrenching himself free with a sudden strength that shocked Rikuo. He fell back onto the blanket, panting, as he drew his legs up to his chest in an effort to hide his genitals.

"M-master…" Wide, brown eyes stared at him, mortified. "I think I…I just c-came… It's…it's all over my pants."

Rikuo stared at him in disbelief. "Of _everything _you could say, you're upset because you have cum in your pants?"

He really _was _just like a cat, Rikuo thought. Kazahaya's mood was volatile; now, he cringed, uncomfortable. "It's _wet._"

"Well, you'll just have to let it dry." He shrugged. "I didn't bring you a change of pants."

"Then you…did you not plan on doing that?"

"What can I say? It's hard to keep my hands off you…you should stop looking so sexy." He advanced, laughing as Kazahaya pushed himself away with his feet. "Oh, relax, your punishment is over. Come here so I can get the belt off."

Free, Kazahaya crept to the edge of the blanket and used it to clean himself off. He came back, furious, and began to fish for food in the basket.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

His slave glared at him and said nothing.

"Oh, come on…"

Kazahaya looked resolutely away. "Pretty awful."

"You're a terrible liar."

The mood lightened as they unpacked their meal. Rikuo stretched out, enjoying the way Kazahaya's eyes lingered on him, and asked him about his experiences as an empath. At first, Kazahaya had thought it was a trick, that Rikuo was bating him to misstep somehow – but as the afternoon wore on, and Kazahaya shared stories of himself, of worlds and sights and times he had seen through the lingering remnants of other people – he could tell that Rikuo was genuinely interested, curious about him.

It was another hot, long walk back in the dwindling golden light of sunset. "Take the basket back and go get yourself cleaned up," Rikuo told him. "Be back by seven. Don't be late," he ordered.

When Kazahaya came back to his quarters at eight thirty, Rikuo was sitting in his chair, his arms folded over his chest, waiting and exasperated.

"You're _late_."

"I know," Kazahaya panted. "I ran all the way here – I didn't have my watch, I didn't realize what time it was –" His hair was still dripping.

"_Obviously_." Rikuo uncrossed his arms and stared at him levelly. "Take off your shoes."

"Er – what?"

Rikuo growled at him. "Take _off _your _shoes,_ Kazahaya."

The boy's mouth shut with a snap; warily, he kneeled down and slipped his shoes off.

"Good. Now lie down on your back on my bed."

He froze. "But…but why…"

"Because you disobeyed me and you're being punished for it. You don't learn at all, do you? Yesterday, the day before, _today _– were you dropped on your head as an infant? Now _do as I say_."

Kazahaya moved as though he was being dragged to the bed, haltingly. He sat on the edge, brought his legs up, and lay down on his back with all the grace of a man approaching a guillotine. Rikuo rose and moved over to the edge, staring down at him. He wanted to laugh; Kazahaya had bitten down on his bottom lip, and a fresh sheen of sweat glistened on his freshly cleaned skin. Still, his eyes burned fiercely in his attempt to keep up a brave face.

"It wasn't on purpose," Kazahaya began to protest. "I didn't realize –"

Rikuo reached down and began to untie the boy's pants. Kazahaya squawked and moved to sit upright; he shoved him back down, yanking at his waistline, and whispered low into his ear. "You don't want to get in more trouble with me, do you?" A mumbled reply came back to him. "No, I didn't think so – then _lay still_," he ordered.

Two thin arms clutched at the blanket as Rikuo stripped his pants off. He leaned against the bedpost, admiring his work. Kazahaya was naked from the waist down, his pants completely off, not just yanked halfway, and for the first time, Rikuo could drink in the image that had haunted his fantasies. Kazahaya had slender, jutting hips that moved down into straight thighs, long, thin legs…and the most enticing member Rikuo had ever glimpsed now that he could look at it properly. He wanted to reach out and stroke it, feel it stiffen in his hands, feel the power of making the boy buck and beg and finally, if he allowed it, if he brought him to the edge, to cum…

He let the silence drag on, enjoying the way Kazahaya was shaking, clutching the sheets, two eyes shut tightly above a face that had turned scarlet. Rikuo wondered idly what he was thinking or expecting, but he didn't move.

Finally, one eye opened tentatively. Kazahaya eyed him standing there, nervous.

"I-is this it?"

"Are you questioning me?"

"No."

Rikuo rolled his eyes. "What do you think happens to you now? And don't cover yourself."

Kazahaya blushed furiously; one hand had moved discreetly down to cover the area between his thighs. He moved it away, embarrassed.

"I don't know."

"You don't know, or you don't want to think about it?" It was killing him, really, the way Kazahaya lay there, face flushed, half naked, bashful and mistrustful. At first he had just wanted to touch the boy; now his mind imagined a hundred different scenarios, each one more detailed than the last, but still restraint kept him still, feigning nonchalance.

"I guess…" Kazahaya's voice had fallen to just above a whisper. "I guess whatever happens next is what you want to happen…master."

_He knows. _Their eyes had met briefly, but Kazahaya's had fallen away, unable to hold his gaze. _He keeps testing me, but he's a virgin…Maybe he keeps disobeying you on purpose because he wants you, too – or maybe he's just a clueless idiot. _Rikuo sat down next to the boy and felt that familiar pair of eyes on him again. Closer, now, he could see the tension in every muscle in his body, trembling and readying itself for some sort of attack. _So you do this – you fuck him – and it could go one way, or it could go the other…and most likely the other. You want to fuck him; he wants to hold your hand. He knows I want him, and he's afraid of me, and I'm afraid of breaking him, and this can't go on forever. God damn him, and Kakei, and Saiga…_

"Relax, Kazahaya," he sighed. "I promised I wouldn't hurt you. In fact…" Rikuo smiled suddenly, a slow, rare smile, devilish in its own subdued way, "…I won't even touch you."

"So I just have to lay here?"

He chuckled low. Kazahaya's voice was so eager and relieved, it was just too…_cute. You're too fucking cute, you know. _"No. You're going to pleasure yourself, and I'm going to watch."

He expected Kazahaya to leap off the bed or strike up a yowl, but instead, all he received in response was a confused stare.

"I'm sorry," he stammered after a moment, "I don't understand. You want me to do what?"

"Pleasure yourself." Rikuo frowned at Kazahaya's blank look; this was far less sexy than he had anticipated.

"Erm." Kazahaya blinked at him. "Ah." His eyes glanced at the ceiling, the wall, down at his own chest. "I'm uh…I'm not really sure…what…"

The mood was dead. "You're kidding me, right?"

Alarm flashed across his slave's face. "Sure – yes, of course. I'll just…okay, hold on…should I start?" Rikuo nodded. Kazahaya reached down, face burning, and began to fumble with his member. After a minute of awkward handling, Rikuo gawked.

"You _are _serious!"

"Oh, _shut up!_" Kazahaya fumed, then remembered himself. He tensed, expecting a rebuff, but Rikuo only laughed again.

"You've never pleasured yourself? But today – you came."

"I've cum before." Kazahaya sounded as though he would rather be flayed alive then talk about his sex life. "I've had…dreams…but…"

"But you've never actually pleasured yourself?"

"_No_," he hissed. "Why would I do that? I was –" And he stopped suddenly, wary.

"You were _what_?"

"Do I have to tell you?" He threw a hand over his face, shielding his expression.

"_Yes._"

He whispered something, muffled by his arm.

"Speak up, Kazahaya."

He was certain he heard Kazahaya curse him under his breath before he spoke again. "I was saving myself. You know. For…for someone special."

Rikuo lifted his arm away to stare down at him. Kazahaya looked furious, bracing to be made fun of. "Usually people do that with sex. Not with masturbation."

"Well, _whatever!_" He pulled his arm away. "It's not like I talked about this with anyone! It was my choice, okay?"

"You're my slave – your choices are ones that I make for you." His voice was low, his lips close to Kazahays' neck; he liked watching the way his skin prickled at the delicate sensation of the very edge of his lips. "And I'm telling you to pleasure yourself."

He huffed. "Yes, master." He moved to fumble with himself again, then froze.

Rikuo had reached down and grabbed his hand. He moved carefully, guiding Kazahaya's hands to his member, and wrapped it around. The very edge of his fingertips touched his sensitive flesh; Kazahaya's body froze with the shock of it. "You do it like _this._" He pulled Kazahaya's hand up, moving it up the length of the boy's shaft and down again, until he was hard.

Rikuo pulled away. Kazahaya's hand stopped moving; his eyes were looking up at him, expectant and curious.

"Well, I'm not going to do it _for _you. Keep going."

Kazahaya blushed again, and closing his eyes, began to stroke himself, slowly at first. It was tantalizing to watch as the expression on his face changed; Rikuo felt himself grow hard watching as the boy closed his eyes tight with concentration, as his teeth bit down on his lower lip, his legs pushing himself up into his hips.

It was the moan that did it; it was only the smallest sound, but it escaped for half a second from between Kazahaya's lips before he shut his jaw tightly. Rikuo knew that sound would haunt his dreams tonight; _and he thinks HE'S being punished, _he thought. Kazahaya's hair clung damply to the side of his face. His breathing was coming faster, in shorter gasps.

The boy stopped suddenly, his chest heaving. He looked up at Rikuo with an expression that he couldn't understand.

"It was better when you did it," he whispered.

Rikuo felt like a man who had wandered into quicksand. He knew the correct response to get out of quicksand was to not move: _tell him to keep going, this isn't about making him feel good, it's about embarrassing him and getting him to finally obey you…_ And still his hand reached forward against his better judgment, grasping Kazahaya's erection, his own blood quickening in his veins as he watched the boy's eyes roll back with pleasure, his hips pulling forward into his own grasp.

Rikuo stroked him, slowly at first, bring his hand up over the head, sliding his thumb just over the tip and back down, then faster, his fingers curling around the shaft to create friction and pressure. That moan – that same delicious sound from earlier – escaped again, only now Kazahaya exhaled it with abandon, his hands buried in his hair as he leaned back, gasping, as Rikuo yanked his shirt up.

He cried out in shock and pleasure as he came. Rikuo held him, feeling his cock's vibrations in his grip, committing that rhythm to memory. He let go and settled back, watching as Kazahaya gulped for air, his body thrumming with his orgasm.

"_Master_!" Wild eyes fell on him, his voice thick with panic. "I-I think I'm d-dying."

"No, you're fine. Your heart will slow down in a minute."

Kazahaya groaned and rubbed the back of his palms into his eyes. He looked down at the pearly liquid on his chest and cringed.

"Great. What should I do about _that_?"

Kazahaya's eyes were still staring at the liquid; he didn't see Rikuo's slow grin or hear the amusement in his voice.

"It's not like after you have a wet dream, where you just wipe it off, like today. After you pleasure yourself, most people lick it up."

"They _what?_"

Rikuo crossed his hands over his chest with indifference, looking away quickly. He didn't want to burst out laughing. "You heard me." He watched, from the corner of his eyes, as Kazahaya squinted down at his chest and drug a finger through his cum. Rikuo's member stiffened painfully as he watched the boy bring it up to his face, glare at it, and suck on his finger.

"What's it taste like?"

Kazahaya's face screwed up in thought. "Is it supposed to taste like something? It's just sort of warm."

"_Warm _isn't a taste."

Kazahaya shrugged. "Salt, maybe? Not really. I don't know. Let me try again…"

Rikuo couldn't hold it in anymore; he laughed at him, grinning at Kazahaya's perplexed look. "You're a real idiot, you know that? I'm kidding. You don't lick it. Just wipe it off you with a rag or something, like usual. You actually believed me…" Rikuo smirked.

Kazahaya glared at him furiously. "Oh, that's real funny." He yanked off his shirt, wiped off his chest, and slunk down toward his cot. Rikuo chuckled as he listened to Kazahaya complain about "just getting clean" and something about a "pervert" as he settled down below.

Rikuo listened for the sound of Kazahaya's breathing to change; when the boy had finally fallen asleep and the lamp was blown out, he slipped his own hand into his pants, reaching for himself.

_We'll both need to get clean again tomorrow, _he thought.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: We're halfway there! Eight more chapters to go; I hope you're enjoying it so far. Please let me know what you think! Thank you for reading!<br>**


	10. Chapter 10

When another day came and went, Rikuo discovered he was finding Kazahaya's lateness increasingly less endearing and steadily more annoying.

"You're late." Rikuo growled the words as Kazahaya slipped in through the doorway at five thirty.

"I know, but I swear –"

"Take off all your clothes."

"Master, please." Kazahaya shut the door and stared at him plaintively. "I was with Nayuki; we were on the far end of the orchards. Someone stole horses, we were following the tracks. I didn't realize –"

"Kazahaya, do as I say."

Rikuo watched him undress sullenly; he could tell that Kazahaya was telling the truth, but still, he was genuinely starting to get exasperated with Kazahaya for testing his authority. _If he wants me to fuck him, he should just crawl into my bed at night, not disobey me. _

Kazahaya stood naked, his hands bashfully covering his genitals. Rikuo walked over to his dresser and yanked open a drawer.

"Your belt again," Kazahaya began to complain, then stopped. He was looking at Rikuo in alarm. "_Three? _What are you going to do with _three _belts? And _that…_" In his other hand, Rikuo had pulled out the chain leash.

"Get over here. And _stop_ covering yourself."

He came forward shyly. Rikuo looped the belt around Kazahaya's arms and torso, buckling it from behind. Even with his arms pinned at his sides, he still had room to fit the leather through the buckle down to three notches.

"You're so skinny." The words came out more gruffly than he had intended; he could feel Kazahaya shaking, whether from anger or anticipation, he didn't know. "Now, crouch down."

"What –"

"_Kazahaya._"

He shut his mouth and crouched down, holding his balance. "This is awkward," he complained.

"It's going to get more awkward." Rikuo took another belt and looped it over his thigh and under his calf, belting his leg into that position. Kazahaya nearly fell over as he belted the other leg; he looked like a bird, balanced on a limb. Rikuo hooked the chain to his collar and stood, pulling on it. "Now lean forward – get up on your toes."

Rikuo dropped the chain to the floor and stepped back, crossing in front of him to admire his work. Kazahaya was crouched on the ground, a belt looped around each thigh and calf, so that he could neither stand nor sit. His hair moved as if stirred by a slight wind; his muscles were straining, trembling with the effort to remain balanced on his toes, and eyes – two wide, brown eyes – were glaring at him with rage.

"_I'm _the one who should be angry." Rikuo walked forward and titled Kazahaya's face up, tracing along his neck, drawing his chin upwards. "You can't seem to learn anything. Not a single _thing._ I try and try, but you can't be taught."

"It was an _accident._" He tried to move his face away; the movement was enough to nearly topple him over.

"Careful, Kazahaya – you don't want to fall over. When you do, your real punishment will start."

"_This _isn't _enough!_"

"There you go, moving again. Here, let me help you." He picked up the chain from the floor. Wrapping the metal around his fist, he curled his arm upwards until the boy was gasping, straining on the very tips of his toes to crouch upright.

Rikuo felt a hot flame leap alive inside him; Kazahaya's eyes had squinted shut with his force of effort; sweat shined on his forehead.

"How long do you think you can stand like this?"

"N-not…" He gasped; Rikuo had pulled the chain higher, the metal pressing into his windpipe. "_…long…_"

"I didn't think so either." He let go unexpectedly; Kazahaya toppled forward, crashing to the ground. He rolled onto his side, groaning.

Rikuo knelt and pushed him onto his back; the boy's face flushed with indignation and embarrassment. His legs were still belted together, awkwardly splayed open. Rikuo grinned and loomed over him, delighting in the way Kazahaya's hands, pinned at his sides, curled into tight fists.

"Now you have to kiss me."

Brown eyes glared at him, mistrustful. "That's all I have to do?"

"Well, now that you're questioning me…" Rikuo reached for him, moving his thumb over the boy's lips, sliding them open, pressing inside. _I shouldn't manipulate him like this, but…all in all…I've been patient with him…_ He let his defenses down, if only a little, and focused on the searing fire inside of him, allowing his own desire to enflame his skin – skin that was now touching Kazahaya, pressing against him…

Kazahaya blinked, as if slightly dazed, and arched his back just enough underneath Rikuo to make his pulse quicken. He pressed his thumb in deeper into his mouth and felt a soft tongue slide along the length of it. Rikuo withdrew his hand, and for only a second, Kazahaya seemed to come back to himself, bewildered and apprehensive, until Rikuo leaned down and pressed their lips together.

His fingers ran through the boy's hair, gripping it, delighting in the way it felt like silk threads as his tongue slipped past the boy's lips, exploring the delicate sensations of his mouth, and still that slight frame beneath him arched higher.

Rikuo reached down and touched Kazahaya's member, felt his body shiver, and moved lower. He penetrated him sharply, gripping him tighter by his hair as a soft, muffled cry moved from Kazahaya's throat into the back of his own.

"You know," he whispered, pulling away, kissing under the boy's jaw, "Now I'm _completely_ convinced you like this."

Kazahaya gasped; the confusion that Rikuo had glimpsed earlier was back; in his eyes, Rikuo could see the uncertainty of someone being tugged between two opposing worlds of emotion, one his own…the other Kazahaya's, but each indistinguishable from the other. Staring into Kazahaya's eyes was like looking into a limpid pool of emotion where apprehension swam with lust, clouding his mind.

"So do you, Kazahaya? I don't think I've ever gotten a straight answer from you…" He withdrew his finger to the knuckle before pushing back in, his blood racing in his veins: he could feel Kazahaya's heart racing in his chest.

"I don't know." The words came out in a whispered rush of air; his eyes were swimming again, lost somewhere inside him, where Rikuo's emotions clouded and overpowered his own until he didn't know what he was feeling anymore.

Rikuo returned to his mouth as he thrust yet again into the boy, shivering at the way his moans vibrated on the edge of his lips. He withdrew completely and pulled away just long enough to watch the way his neck craned backward with the shock of it, eyes rolling back.

Rikuo chuckled; with one hand he grabbed a fistful of Kazahaya's hair and shoved him down to the ground. Maneuvering his body over the boy, he playfully teased a nipple with his tongue, sucking at it, nipping the hard, pink flesh, flicking at the end, as his other hand moved again, pushing into the boy harder with two fingers.

Kazahaya cried out in earnest, his body wrenching upward in an effort to get away. Rikuo smirked and pushed in deeper, up to his knuckles now, and imagined that same tight friction around his cock, how incredible it would feel to push into that warmth…

"So, do you like it, Kazahaya?" The boy's body was shaking; he traced around the edge of his other nipple, kissing his chest; he withdrew just enough to elicit another gasp from the boy, then pushed back in, down to the base of his fingers.

"No." Rikuo heard him speak, but the meaning didn't register. He stopped, confused. "No," Kazahaya gasped again, "No, _please_, it _hurts…_"

"It's always a little uncomfortable in the beginning." He tried to sound casual, but his confidence was shaken. He kissed the boy again, more gently than he thought he knew how, and let go of his hair. He brought his hand down to rest flat against his chest – a chest, he noticed now, that was heaving with rapid breaths. "Relax, Kazahaya…"

"No, master, p-please – _aah!_"

Rikuo had pulled out and thrust back in again; he pushed the boy down to the floor, the skin of his palm touching the bare skin of his shoulder, willing his emotion to flow into him and give him some enjoyment. _It'll get easier, just give it time…_ But Kazahaya's struggles intensified; Rikuo had hoped he would melt, relax, let his inhibitions go, but the boy beneath him was straining to get away, eyes shut in pain.

"_Rikuo, please – you're hurting me!"_

He felt as though he'd been struck; he withdrew immediately and sat up. Kazahaya cried out again and rolled onto his side, shuddering.

Rikuo reached over, hands working to unbuckle his legs, and felt him flinch at his touch as he pulled him back to face him.

"Kazahaya –"

"I'm sorry." The words rushed out of him as his left leg stretched out, collapsing. Two wide eyes were pleading with him for understanding, glassy with unshed tears. He was blinking rapidly, the strands of his hair trembling from a body wracked by anxiety as Rikuo undid the belt around his other leg. "I didn't mean to say your name. Please forgive me, please don't…"

Rikuo moved slowly until he was positioned over the boy. He reached down and lifted his hair away from his face, letting his fingertips brush his cheek. Kazahaya was tense, nervous, waiting.

Dark eyes drank in the form beneath him; Kazahaya was so…_slight, _he thought. _And slender. And…small. _He could cup the boy's face in just the palm of his hand.

Rikuo looked back into that pair of waiting, frightened eyes. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I said I wouldn't, but I…" He kissed him as softly as he could manage, feeling how still and unresponsive Kazahaya had become. "It's just…" _I don't think I ever realized how much smaller you were than me until now…_

"You want me."

Rikuo stared down at him, surprised at his bluntness, unsure if it was an act. "…If I wanted you, I'd just take you," he maneuvered, and faked a smirk in an effort to be convincing.

It almost worked; Kazahaya blushed. _By now he should be used to this, and he still blushes. _"T-that's true," he said. "But I don't understand…this…"

"This?"

"…This. Us."

"_Us_?"

Long eyelashes fluttered as he began to blink again; his voice cracked slightly as he spoke. "I don't understand _why _you would…care. If you hurt me or not."

Again, Rikuo felt winded. His eyes narrowed. "Do you think I'm some sort of sadist?"

Below eyes that still fought against tears, Kazahaya grinned sheepishly. "Well, you keep tying me up…and right now, I can't move my arms…"

Rikuo grunted in annoyance and yanked the last belt loose. Kazahaya moved to sit up and found himself still trapped underneath his master's limbs.

"Kazahaya, _look at me._" Their eyes met. "I don't want to hurt you. Whatever else I _do _or _do not _want isn't important, but I want you to know that."

"Yes, master."

"You don't believe me." Rikuo could see it plainly on his face and felt anger and frustration well up. "Okay, fine, maybe I haven't demonstrated that to you…I want you to do something." Kazahaya watched him uncertainly. "Channel me."

"W-what?"

"Channel me. You can feel me now, like this…some. I want you to touch me now and channel me."

"Are you sure?"

"…Does it hurt?"

Kazahaya's laugh was so surprising it nearly knocked him off balance. "Not _you_." He stopped suddenly. "I mean, no, master, it won't."

"I meant, will it hurt _you_?" Kazahaya was looking at him as if he didn't quite understand the concern in his voice.

"…I don't think so."

"Then do it."

He felt his heart race in a strangely unfamiliar way as Kazahaya reached up to touch his face, cold hands sliding up his jaw and then upward, his fingertips resting on the edge of his eyes. _That's the first time he's ever really touched me with his own hands… _He thought; another voice, still his own, yet harsher, spoke up: _And he didn't do it willingly. You still ordered him to do this._

He wasn't sure what to do; he remained still, thinking…_should I think about him? No, it doesn't matter…can he hear my thoughts? _His heart beat quicker; _maybe he can see what I'm thinking? _Unbidden, all of the fantasies he'd imagined rushed into his mind. _Whatever you do, don't think about how you want to push him onto his stomach and pull his hips up into you, and fuck him until he's screaming your name –_

Kazahaya let out a quiet "_ah!_" and pulled away, wincing. Rikuo was furious with himself; he could feel how flushed his skin was.

"Why is your heart beating so fast? It was making me dizzy…"

"My _heart?_"

"When I was channeling you, your heart started to beat like crazy. Just now, I felt so dizzy…"

"Could you see my thoughts?"

"Your thoughts?" Kazahaya blinked at him. "No, you'd have to really let your guard down for me to do that, or be really absorbed in something. You're sort of….closed." He looked unsure, as if he'd never described this sort of thing before. "I was just feeling what it was like to be in your body. To be honest, I was looking at myself." He smiled weakly.

Rikuo was stunned. "So you channeled my…my bodily experience? You were in my body, feeling my heart beat, looking down at yourself…"

"Well, yea." His smile was bashful. "And…and I could feel how your body is tense, like you're holding yourself very carefully, so as not to crush me…and how your heart was racing…"

Rikuo was staring at him in amazement. "Kazahaya…tell me…"

"Mm?"

"…If we had sex, and you channeled me, could you experience what it was like to actually fuck yourself?"

"_Oh my god._" Kazahaya colored until he was bright red. He shoved his way out from under Rikuo. "That –" He sputtered, lost for words. "Is that all you can _ask? _I have never – you _perverted _– t-thought about _that _– what the hell is _wrong _with you? And why am _I _the one getting fucked?"

"But would it be possible?"

Even as he said it, Kazahaya looked as though he wanted to find a deep, dark hole to crawl into and die. "Probably," he squeaked.

"Well…" Rikuo moved closer again and kissed him, chastely, on the cheek. "I guess we'll never know for sure. I meant what I said – I don't want to hurt you. I hope you know that now." Liquid brown eyes stared back at him, unblinking, unanswering. "Why don't you sleep in my bed tonight?" He tried to sound nonchalant, glad their bodies weren't touching – he didn't want Kazahaya to feel how fast his heart was beating again. "I promise nothing will happen."

"…Are you ordering me?"

Rikuo felt something inside him cringe; it was as if the world stopped, and he was suddenly aware of why they were having this conversation. _I don't understand 'us,' _Kazahaya had said. _He's your slave, _his inner voice, a voice he was growing to hate, reminded him. _You're confusing him because you keep forgetting that. _

"No, I was kidding." He rose quickly, turning away, shrugging.

"…Oh…."

He froze; maybe he had just imagined it, but Kazahaya sounded almost…_disappointed? _

_Don't do this, _his voice told him. _What you're thinking about doing now, don't do it. You're crossing a line, and you can't keep going in this direction –_

"It was an invitation." He spoke even as he told himself not to speak. "Not an order. It's up to you."

"Okay, and you promise not to try anything like…I dunno. Like you usually do."

Rikuo turned around to see Kazahaya's hands in his lap, his eyes narrowed, body leaning forward, like a cat ready to pounce on its prey. He grinned. "We'll see. You sure want to risk it?"

Kazahaya mumbled something about the floor and nodded. As he blew out the lamps, Rikuo watched him climb into his bed, lying as close to the edge as possible, arms crossed over his chest.

He slipped under the sheets, aware of the presence of another person less than a foot away. Kazahaya was lying unnaturally still.

"Comfy?"

A '_hmp!' _came in reply.


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note: Posting two chapters today to celebrate Feb. 29! **

Rikuo rolled onto his side, propping himself up with one hand. He liked the feeling of having Kazahaya in his bed; it felt right in a way he didn't want to admit. "If you roll over, you're going to fall onto the floor." He reached over and tapped the space between them. "You can come closer, you know. I won't bite."

"You might," came the grudging reply, but he moved a few inches away from the edge. He was close enough now for Rikuo's fingertips to touch the edge of his chest. He moved his hand up, resting it on Kazahaya's stomach, his thumb stroking gently as the rest of him remained still. Kazahaya's voice floated to him through the darkness.

"…Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"…Does it always hurt?"

"Does _what _always hurt?"

It was too dark to see, but in his mind, he imagined Kazahaya blushing in that boyish way of his. "You know…what you were doing earlier…"

"No. Not always."

His voice was meek. "Sometimes?"

"It shouldn't ever." He moved closer, running his hand up through Kazahaya's hair. "You can't just jump into it, though. It's different for every person…but eventually, you get to a point where you can – well, I wouldn't want to embarrass you," he stopped, chuckling; Kazahaya had shifted uncomfortably. "…But eventually, no, it doesn't hurt."

"…But in the beginning…?"

He stopped lifting his hair away from his face. He couldn't see the boy's eyes, but he looked down at him, all the same. "No. Being uncomfortable or nervous is normal…but it should never hurt. That was my mistake. That wasn't you, and I…" He kicked his pride down into his gut. "…And I shouldn't have done that. I didn't do it right, and I'm sorry."

Now the boy squirmed, unsure of what to say or how to proceed, until finally he managed an "Erm…okay."

Rikuo craned his head down and kissed him; to his surprise, Kazahaya's head titled back, deepening the kiss until they broke apart, gasping for air. _Has he ever done that before…? Was that me, wanting him, or him…he did get in bed with me, so maybe…_

"You know, Kazahaya… I owe you an apology…" Rikuo moved on top of him, nervous without understanding why, and slid his hands up Kazahaya's torso, expecting to get thrown off.

The boy only shivered. "You already said you're sorry…"

"I don't think that counts." He kissed his neck, licking along his collarbone, only half expecting a fight now, but instead, Kazahaya's head rolled back.

"I-I think it does."

"No… I don't think so…"

"_And _you said you wouldn't try anything…"

"I said _we'll see…_" He moved lower, trailing kisses down his chest, pausing at his hip bones to lick the cleft in his muscles. He moved down until he was between his legs; he reached under Kazahaya's shaking limbs and spread them, kissing his inner thighs as he moved toward his member.

The boy let out a gasp as Rikuo took him in his mouth, feeling the muscle harden. He hoisted one thin leg over his shoulder; as his mouth moved up to the head and slid back down to the base, Rikuo could feel the boy's body tensing and melting all at once. He reached down and massaged his balls as he flicked the head with his tongue, sucking on the tender flesh. His hand moved lower, his thumb tracing soft circles around his entrance, pushing at the delicate tissue, pressing inside –

Kazahaya's moans were intoxicating; Rikuo slipped a finger inside him, thrusting gently in time with the movements of his mouth, gripping the shaft and changing his speed to slow, _slower…_The sound of Kazahaya's ragged breathing was nothing compared to the way his leg had gone limp over his shoulder, the way he had finally relaxed and lost himself to Rikuo's movements. _He's letting me do this – this isn't me, this is really him, and…_

_He's getting close. _Rikuo smirked without meaning to; his teeth grazed Kazahaya's tip, and the tiny "_ah_" of surprise and pleasure that resulted made his own cock stiffen. Moisture was gathering below him; Rikuo moved carefully, pushing against his inner walls, withdrawing just enough to move a second finger down and in carefully, slowly moving past muscle that was still tight around him.

He lifted his head up, catching his breath. "Kaza – is that okay?"

"Nng…"

"What?"

"Mm…"

A sense of relief and excitement flooded him; he pushed in deeper, feeling the boy buck below him. Leaning down, he kissed the base of his shaft before sliding back up again, faster now, gripping and moving together, pausing only to slide his hand up his length, pressing the head down through his fingers, his mouth following with a hot, demanding heat, mimicking penetration.

"_Ah!_" Kazahaya gripped the sheets. Rikuo sat up and stroked him hard, thrusting into him with his other hand; the boy came, spurting across his chest in a series of strangled gasps as Rikuo felt the vibrations travel up his arm.

He withdrew slowly, listening in the dark to the boy's panting as it slowed and returned to normal. He waited for Kazahaya to speak.

"I'm _wet_," came a bleak complaint from the dark. "It's all on my stomach. _Again._"

Rikuo rolled his eyes. "Just wipe it off on the sheets and worry about it in the morning."

"….don't want to…"

Rikuo rose and retrieved a lamp. He lit it, setting it next to the bed. "Just think about it like sweat, only –" He stopped.

In the pale light, he watched as Kazahaya sat up, his fingertips touching the cum on his chest curiously, face strangely blank…and eyes distant. Rikuo had seen that expression before, but he still shivered when Kazahaya lifted his eyes to him, eyes that looked past, through, and somehow, still _at _him. _He seemed like himself a minute ago, maybe that was still him…_Rikuo frowned, his heart sinking. _Maybe none of it was him after all._

"Don't want to," Kazahaya repeated. He came forward on all fours like a cat until he was crouched in front of Rikuo, his back pressed against the wall.

"Kazahaya, snap out of it – _hey!_" The boy had moved against him, nuzzling his head against his chest, licking at him. "This isn't you, this –" _Shit. This is me. _He almost wanted to laugh; whether he touched Kazahaya's arm or his cock, he still had touched him, filled him with powerful emotions and desires that weren't his…_you let your guard down too much and overpowered him._

_But this isn't so bad… _Kazahaya had moved down to his chest, tracing the definitions of his muscles with his tongue. "Kazahaya," he tried again, his face flushing, "_Stop._"

But even shoving him away necessitated contact; Kazahaya pressed back insistently against his hands, craning down to lick at Rikuo's stiffening member.

"Fucking _stop, _you _idiot_!"

He might as well have said _don't stop _for all the good it did him; Rikuo gave in, his head thumping back against the wall as Kazahaya worked below him. He let his hands rest in the boy's hair, feeling his movements as he worked his mouth and tongue in ways that Rikuo knew Kazahaya – the _real _Kazahaya, buried somewhere underneath Rikuo's emotions – didn't know how to do. It was a matter of minutes before he came, his hands gripping Kazahaya's head as the boy moved down into him, his throat constricting around his cock as he swallowed.

He exhaled, surrendering to the pleasurable tingling in his body, before the boy brought him back to reality. He was climbing on top of him, grabbing his spent member and straddling him, as if to slide down him and ride him –

"Kazahaya, we can't – you're not ready – fuck, _I'm _not ready," he muttered. It figured that Kazahaya would want to get fucked right after he came. _What are you thinking? You can't have sex with him like this…or even right now. Get control of this situation! _

"Get – _off!_" He shoved him bodily to the other side of the bed; Kazahaya was determined. He rolled back over, eyes still eerily blank, reaching for him.

Rikuo jumped off the bed, grabbed the end of the sheets, and threw them over him. Working furiously, he rolled up a struggling Kazahaya until only his head was free, the rest of his body bound up in the linens. He tied both ends to hold him sure, and constricted, he finally fell still, a caterpillar sullenly lying in a cocoon of linen on the bed.

Rikuo lay down next to him, spooning him, their heads on separate pillows, neither touching the others' skin.

"_Rikuo…_"

"Go. To. _Sleep_."

It was another hour before Kazahaya finally stopped wiggling his body against him, grinding his hips into Rikuo's cock, before they were both able to fall asleep.

* * *

><p>"…Master?"<p>

Rikuo stirred. His arms were still wrapped around Kazahaya…who was still trapped in the sheets.

"…I can't move…"

"I know." Rikuo began to help him disentangle himself.

"Did you do that?"

"Yea. You went all weird on me."

"What did I do?" His eyes widened. "What did I _say_?"

Rikuo decided to give him a break. "Nothing much," he lied. "But I was too tired to deal with you." _That much is true. _"Let's get dressed and get breakfast."

When they arrived down at the commons to find breakfast being served, Rikuo was surprised to find Mukofujiwara there, looking displeased. He waved him over.

"Good morning Rikuo, Kazahaya. I'm sorry, but I can't stay long."

Rikuo knew how to interpret his friend's quiet expressions. He grunted. "You seem bothered."

Mukofujiwara frowned. "I had three horses stolen two days ago." Rikuo ignored the way Kazahaya looked at him pointedly. "And last night, another two – good horses – along with various supplies. Whoever did it killed two stablehands to take the horses. We're getting ready to begin harvesting the orchard and I'm now short five draft animals."

"Get the kennel master – send out the dogs," Rikuo suggested. "They should be able to track the scent of five horses."

Mukofujiwara's frown increased. "Undoubtedly. The way they stayed overnight speaks to how brazen they were; we've decided to wait one more day to see if they strike again. If so, we'll have them. If not, we'll send out the hounds – the tracks won't be that old. As for you, aren't you leaving soon?"

"Yes, less than a week."

He gave a small smile. "I'll have to visit in the winter, when things aren't so busy here. If you'll excuse me…"

When he was gone, Kazahaya turned to Rikuo, his eyes shining with vindication. "I _told _you Nayuki and I were trying to track the horses! We didn't know they'd been stolen at the time, though; it looked as though they'd just gotten loose."

Rikuo ate his food thoughtfully. "Kazahaya."

Kazahaya looked up, curious; Rikuo's tone was stern.

"I want you to be back early today, if you're going to visit Nayuki. And keep out of that whole business – if there're cutthroats around, I don't want you walking around in the orchard like an idiot."

Kazahaya was strangely touched by his concern. He nodded. Rikuo rose to leave.

"Be back by four."

"See you then." As soon as he disappeared, Kazahaya finished his meal and scrambled to get down to orchards; today was going to be an exciting day.

* * *

><p>The talk of the slayings had moved around the court and its inhabitants by mid-morning; by noon, two more bodies were found, dead, stuffed in barrels near the manor. <em>No more visiting Nayuki, <em>Rikuo thought, glad to be leaving soon.

Four o'clock came and went, much to Rikuo's annoyance. _I know what's he doing, _he thought, perturbed. _He'll be here soon… _That was Kazahaya's game, after all; what sort of sport would he enjoy when they moved in a few days time, when Rikuo's responsibilities were lifted, and he had time to lay in bed, or out in the sun…

By five o'clock, Rikuo was no longer content to amuse himself with fantasies; he was growing steadily more worried about Kazahaya and angry at the boy for making him worried to begin with.

_What if something's happened to him? _Dread rolled over in his stomach. He tried to fight against it, hating himself for being so susceptible to such silly fears. _No, nothing has happened. Relax. _

At quarter to six he was getting himself ready to go look for Kazahaya himself when the door opened.

He came in, looking sheepish. "I know I'm late," he said quickly. "But I can explain."

"Please do." Rikuo bit down on his anger. He felt like a fool; Kazahaya looked fine, if a bit windswept in the hair. The boy fidgeted.

"I went to see Nayuki; they had a lot of men out, looking for the thieves. They needed all the help they could get, so Nayuki and I went with them. They found –"

"Two more bodies."

"Right, and then another one that had been dragged through the orchard, all the way to the edge of the woods. It was one of the groomers; one of the men guessed that his leg had gotten caught in rope, and the horses had run –"

"I told you not to go into the orchard."

Kazahaya looked at him, shocked by his anger. "There wasn't any danger – there was nearly twenty of us, and Mukofujiwara was there, too."

"I don't care. When I tell you _not _to do something, _don't _do it. When I tell you to _do _something – like be back here by a certain time – _do _it."

Kazahaya looked at him placidly. "Yes, master," he said, unconvincing.

Rikuo had had it. He walked to his dresser, pulled out the chain, and in another swift movement had attached it to Kazahaya's collar. The boy opened his mouth to protest; Rikuo yanked it forward, unconcerned as he stumbled through the doorway.

"_Master!_" Kazahaya reached up to grab it, furious. "What – _wait _– where - !"

"_Walk._"

Something in his tone put Kazahaya to his heels; he moved to catch up so that the chain was slack. He looked mortified as Rikuo led him down the corridor.

"Where are we going?"

"_Don't _question me."

It was hard to keep up with Rikuo; he walked furiously in a direction Kazahaya had never been. Rather than pass through the commons to the courtyard, they headed the opposite way, deep into the heart of the court, then outside, circling around the outskirts, past another group of stables, kicking up dirt in the fading light of day; it was a half hor before they moved toward a building Kazahaya had never visited before.

A guard posted at the entrance stepped aside as they went in; the stones were hard beneath their feet, lamps lit along the walls as they descended downwards into the earth.

"…Is this…is this a prison…?" Kazahaya's voice, small as it was, was amplified in the stillness of the air. They had begun to pass cells with rusted iron bars.

Rikuo didn't answer; they went lower, down to the levels that were in use, and Kazahaya walked closer to him now as they passed the huddled forms of flesh in their cells.

They came to a pair of guards at the end of a corridor.

"Take me to an empty cell block," Rikuo ordered them. One of the pair split off and led him to a juncture that led to a row of empty cells. Rikuo dismissed him and dragged Kazahaya into the first one, looking around. Dissatisfied, he moved onto the second; it, too, lacked what he was searching for.

In the third one, he stopped and rounded on Kazahaya, his voice shaking with an anger he was trying to control. "When I tell you to do something –"

"I'll do it," Kazahaya finished quickly. He was nervous, shivering in the cold of the cell. "I swear."

"You swear? No, you _learn._" Rikuo dropped the chain and pointed toward the wall. "Touch that."

"What?" Kazahaya turned and peered at the wall. Two manacles were bolted in, high enough to suspend a man by the arms.

"Go and touch one of them."

Rikuo's voice invited no discussion, but still Kazahaya turned to him in disbelief. "But…master…"

"Kazahaya, if you make me say it again, I'll hang you by them."

Rikuo watched Kazahaya take two steps forward and pause, standing in front of the manacle, as if considering its very existence.

"This isn't fair…"

"This _is_ fair," Rikuo said. "How many times have I given you _one _simple order to follow – just _one. _Be on time. I told you not to go out there – you didn't listen. Something could have happened to you."

"_Nothing _happened –"

"And nothing might happen when you touch that. It's a risk you'll just have to take."

Kazahaya stood there, as if weighing the odds in his mind; Rikuo was right, after all – anything or nothing could happen.

"_Now, _Kazahaya." His patience was gone.

He saw the way his slender shoulders sagged in a sigh of defeat, preparing himself. Kazahaya muttered something inaudible and reached out.

Rikuo had an idea of what would happen; in his mind, he had pictured Kazahaya would react like a man who accidentally touched hot iron – cry out, and move his hand away. A second would be enough, he thought; a moment was all that was needed. Or, nothing might happen at all.

There was no sound; the moment his fingertips touched the edge of the manacle, Kazahaya dropped to the ground as if struck by lightning, two large eyes rolling back into his skull. Rikuo moved quick enough to catch his head before it struck the ground.

"Kazahaya!"

His eyes didn't open; he had turned a sickening shade of gray. Panic stirred in his chest; he laid the boy on the ground and pressed his open palms against the bare skin of his face, cupping it. _Wake up! _He hoped his own emotions, flowing into the boy now, would be enough to shock him back to reality.

The boy's eyes opened, eyes that were distant, empty, glassy. Rikuo's gambit had worked; he hadn't wanted to punish Kazahaya himself – _really _punish him, not just the games they had been playing – and had thought that channeling it through someone who had experienced it would teach him. He wouldn't be hurt, and he might not remember…

On the floor, Kazahaya curled up into a tight ball, his hands covering his head as he whimpered, tears sliding out of his eyes.

"Kazahaya…wake up…" Rikuo tried to shake him; he reacted violently, flinging himself away. Backed up against the wall, he slipped to his knees, tearing at his clothing as he sobbed.

"_It burns!" _He fingers were digging into his own flesh in an effort to tear off something. Rikuo rushed forward, grabbing his wrists. Kazahaya began to scream, fighting against him, trying to bite him, kick him; as small as he was, he managed to wrench a hand free of Rikuo's grasp and cuff him across the face, pushing away from him. Rikuo wiped the blood away from his lip; _just let him ride this out…it'll end… _When he'd stopped the skin contact with the pearls, Kazahaya had come back to himself quickly enough. _But he's not touching anything now! _His mind protested.

Kazahaya fell to his knees; he clutched at his chest, crying out in anguish as he fell forward, screaming at someone to _stop, stop, please stop. _Rikuo felt sickened at the sight of it; he rushed forward and grabbed him again, shaking, allowing Kazahaya to hit him, bite him, and fight back again – _anything _– to bring him back.

His body was quaking with the effort of his sobs; Rikuo held him tightly, waiting for it to end.

_Are you satisfied? _He asked himself. _Did you teach him a lesson? _

When Kazahaya finally fell still, Rikuo discovered that self-loathing felt like a knife in his side, constantly being twisted, and unlike whatever Kazahaya had seen, this feeling refused to go away.


	12. Chapter 12

Kazahaya had gone limp; Rikuo picked him up and carried him in his arms, his mind racing as he walked. Kazahaya's face was pressed against his collarbone, colorless. _Don't be in there, _he thought, staring down at soft hair. _I hope you're pushed out now. Don't be in there with whomever's memories those were – let it be like the pearls. Don't remember this._

_But that's what you wanted, _he thought, furious with himself. _He's not actually hurt – he'll come out of this and be fine. Hopefully the idiot will have finally learned his lesson. _

He kicked open the door to his quarters and set him down gently on the bed. Kazahaya had broken out into a cold sweat. His hair hung limply, pressed against his cheek. Rikuo sat on the bed and drew him close, letting the boy's head rest on his thigh. Lifting his hair away from him, he reached down and pulled him up into an embrace.

_Wake up, Kazahaya…_

Hours passed; Rikuo had never felt so alone. Even with Kazahaya's head against his chest, he felt isolated, like a man lost at sea. No matter how much he stared down at him, Kazahaya didn't change. The knowledge that an entire world could be unfolding behind those closed eyelids – a world he couldn't go to, a place he couldn't rescue him from – or an empty, painless darkness, frightened him. He was used to feeling powerful: that was what Kazahaya did for him.

_And it's a lie. He's the one who has the power over me. _The thought came with the cold fear of realizing something true and hideous about oneself, but as much as he yearned to deny it, to reassure himself that he was in control, he couldn't pull his hand away from Kazahaya's skin or tear his eyes away from those eyelids. _You bought him because you knew you could never have him otherwise…. _The self-loathing that had been growing in him reared up, a heavy weight in his soul. Only then could he draw his hand away; it was an emotion he didn't want flowing into Kazahaya. He had once been amused by Kazahaya's inability to distinguish Rikuo's lust from his own; he didn't want him to hate himself because of his own emotions.

Darkness came; Rikuo had undressed the brunette, unhooked the chain, and pulled the sheets over him, retiring to the cot on the floor. His thoughts lingered in the darkness, chasing away any chance of sleep; it was all he could not to throw himself into his hate and guilt, to try and swim against that tide of self-realization in his mind. _You were worried that something could have happened to him, and when he turned out to be fine, what did you do to him?_ _Does it make you feel better about what you've done to him when you hate yourself? _His own voice asked. And Rikuo, disgusted, knew that it did.

It was only a tiny sound, but his nerves were on edge – he heard it, cutting through the darkness, a change in Kazahaya's pattern of breathing, a sharper in-take of breath, accompanied by the rustling of the sheets.

Rikuo was up before he was aware that he had lit one of the lamps, drawing close to the bedside. Kazahaya had rolled onto his side, drawing his knees up to this chest in a fetal position. Tears were pouring out from beneath closed eyes, but it was the silence that disturbed Rikuo the most. Kazahaya reached up with his hands, clutching his hair into two tight fistfuls until his knuckles had turned white, his body shaking.

The silence was broken by a strangled cry, the last sound an animal might make as a knife slid into its belly. Rikuo reached down and grabbed his wrists, pulling his hands away; his fingernails had begun to dig into his own scalp. He rolled the boy onto his back, pinning his arms above him, willing his thoughts to move through him, down into the flesh below.

"Kazahaya, _wake up!_"

His eyes opened; Rikuo released him from the shock of it. Depthless, he recognized the expression: blank. Gone. Wherever Kazahaya was, he hoped it was somewhere deep and dark and alone in his mind.

"I don't know…" The boy spoke, barely audible, staring through him. Rikuo gripped his wrists again, pressing his skin against his. Kazahaya was speaking, but not to him. "Please," he managed, struggling against him now, his legs kicking. "_Please _let me _go!_"

Rikuo took a blow to his chest; he winced. "Kazahaya – I'm sorry. I hope this works." He drew his hand back and backhanded him.

The boy made a pained sound and fell still, his eyes closing.

"Spinning," he mumbled thickly. "I'm…spinning."

"No." Rikuo held him tightly, pulling him up close to his chest. "Keep your eyes closed. Just wait." His fingertips brushed his cheek; at first he thought Kazahaya was trembling, but no. It was his own hands that were shaking.

The minutes passed in silence as Rikuo dabbed at a small drop of blood near the boy's nose, soaking it up with his shirt cuffs, watching the blood spread up through the white cotton. Finally, brown eyes opened, focusing on him.

It was a look that broke his heart: defeated, tired.

"I'm sorry," Kazahaya spoke. He pushed himself out of Rikuo's arms. "Master," he added, a dazed afterthought. "I'll be on time from now on."

"No, Kazahaya –" He hated the way Kazahaya let himself be pulled back into his arms once again; the fight in him was gone. "No, I'm sorry – I won't…that won't happen again." He hated listening to the words, how empty and hollow he knew they sounded to the boy in his arms. He knew it was the truth – he'd cut his hand off before he hit him again, and worse, he would never make him touch something so…_so wrong…_ "Do you….do you remember what happened?"

Kazahaya's voice was faint. "I remember touching the iron on the wall, and then darkness…and memories…" He shuddered. "And then you hit me, and now I'm here."

"Kaza…" Rikuo hugged him. "I'm sorry."

"You've apologized to me before. About something different. Or maybe not, I guess." His voice was oddly distant. "I remember telling you I didn't understand why you would care…I still don't."

"Why wouldn't I?" It was the best response he could make; his body felt numb.

"Because I have a collar around my neck." Kazahaya pushed away more forcefully, freeing himself. "Master, may I sleep in my cot?"

"Yes." His voice felt equally distant, like it belonged to someone else. Kazahaya pushed himself out of the bed and slipped below as Rikuo watched. He blew out the lamps mechanically and lay back in the bed, fully dressed, above the sheets.

_He doesn't have to be your slave – there's two ways to let him go, but the one you can do…you could set him free,_ his mind whispered. _He'd be your equal – no, but that scares you. You're afraid he'll leave you if you do that. You KNOW he'd leave you if you do that. So, you can keep him, and he can hate you…and you deserve it. What have you done that was kind to him? When have you ever been someone that he wouldn't want to run away from?_

Alone in his bed, Rikuo was left his thoughts to torture him till morning.

* * *

><p>Rikuo didn't speak to him when he got up; Kazahaya dressed quietly and looked at him for a moment, as if there was something he wanted to say, but didn't. He only walked past him and shut the door, leaving him to lie there.<p>

Kazahaya lay quiet, trying to remember what had happened. Rikuo had taken him to that place – that cold, miserable cell – and made him touch a manacle that, in his memories, he felt restraining him as he was mutilated. The memories felt distant now, like a bad story someone had told him, but at the time…he shuddered. They had come and gone so fast in the darkness; one moment he was in the cell, reaching for the manacle, and the next he was in Rikuo's bed, and Rikuo was straddling him, the memories knocked out of his head by the blow…

He had a terrible headache now. He sighed, pushing himself up. _He probably didn't know what else to do, _he thought. Kazahaya's heart clenched; he liked Rikuo more than he wanted to admit, more than just physically… _How long do you think he'll keep you? Before everything goes wrong._

_It feels like everything already has gone wrong, _he thought with a sigh, dressing. _We're supposed to leave soon…to go to his new home…my new home…_

_If he'll keep you now, _his voice whispered back to him in his head. _By now, he's probably realized he'd in over his head with you. Or, he'll have realized how much money he can make selling you. Maybe, if you're lucky, he'll sell you back to Kakei and Saiga._

Kazahaya didn't know how to feel; he didn't want to be bound to anyone (_or by anything, _he thought) but at the same time…_…I don't want to go back to Kakei and Saiga, _he thought suddenly. _I…I want to stay with Rikuo… _

He thought about the look Rikuo gave him before he left; it held pity, embarrassment, shame, regret – too much to put into words. _No, _he thought. _I think…I hope…things will be different. Starting with me. _

He set out, skipping the kitchens to head straight to the courtyard. It was a long walk to the manor; he took his time, in no rush, trying to enjoy the summer sun. For just a moment, it didn't seem quite as hot as it had been; _maybe autumn is finally getting here, _he thought.

The stables were quieter than he was used to; with five horses gone and an equal number of men dead, guarded eyes watched him as he passed, climbing up toward the manor. He was about to slip inside when a servant whistled to stop him.  
>"Looking for Nayuki?" Kazahaya nodded. "Out riding – go back that way."<p>

He headed back down to the stables, delighted to take out one of the mares. The thought of wind in his hair, shoving away the last remaining ghosts of a bad dream, was refreshing. One of the boys ran about, saddling and fitting the bit as Kazahaya watched. "Which way did Nayuki go?"

The boy pointed sourly out toward the orchard.

Kazahaya mounted and spurred the mare forward into a slow trot, following one of the more well worn paths through the orchard. No one paid him much attention as he went; a few workers had already set out crates, preparing to harvest the fruit. Kazahaya sighed a little; it would have been nice to stay longer. He was good at climbing trees. _I could have helped._

He rode for a half hour with no luck; at one point, he'd tried to think like a tracker and determine if the hoof prints were fresh or old…in the end, they all looked the same to him. He'd reached the far end of the orchard, on the edge of the hunting forest, when he finally spotted Nayuki astride a bay mare.

He rode up to him, calling out. Nayuki turned, surprised.

"What are you doing all the way out here?" Kazahaya reigned in close.

Nayuki looked troubled. "Mukofujiwara has gone with some men to round up a hunting party and hounds. There was another theft last night."

Kazahaya frowned. "What did they take this time?"

"A foal. I found it, dead, a little ways in there." He pointed toward the forest. "Stabbed. It probably wouldn't stop making noise; it wasn't weaned; it dropped late in the summer. I was just going to get someone to help me bring it back. I can't lift it over my horse."

"I'll help." They guided their horses out of the orchard, into the thicker trees.

"Is everything alright?" Nayuki gave him a worried glance. "You seem…different. Did something happen?"

"Yes…and no."

"Is that the type of answer an empath would give?"

Kazahaya smiled a little and shrugged. "I actually came here to tell you that this is the last time I'll be visiting."

"Has Rikuo forbid it?"

He shook his head. "No, nothing like that. We're leaving in a few days…and I want to…to spend some time with him…if he's not too busy…"

Nayuki smiled. "I think that'll be nice. I'll miss having you around."

"Mukofujiwara said he'd come visit in winter. Will you come too?"

"I'd have to – I couldn't be away from him for that long." Kazahaya blushed at his openness and looked away; he wondered if he'd ever feel that way about Rikuo.

Or if Rikuo would ever feel that way about him.

The stench of the corpse reached them before they saw it. Nayuki reigned up first and slid off, frowning. Kazahaya followed.

"He was a beautiful colt," he sighed. "I helped deliver him."

Kazahaya knelt with him, each grasping two slender legs, and hoisted it up over Nayuki's horse. The mare shifted uneasily at the smell of death and made to rear; Nayuki calmed her, stroking her nose. They remounted and moved slowly back through the woods.

"…Hey Nayuki…?"

"Hm?"

"When you and Mukofujiwara finally…you know…" He swallowed his own embarrassment. "…_did that…_that is, I mean…ah…had sex," he mumbled, "…did things change? Between you?"

Nayuki smiled. "That's a pretty personal question."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you –"

"I'm not offended," he said quickly. "Yes, things changed."

"In a bad way?"

"In a _change _kind of way…but not in a bad way, no. We understood each other better, I think. It didn't solve any problems between us, but it did help us work through them a little bit better."

"You had problems?" It was hard to imagine; they always seemed so effortless and happy in the brief moments he'd seen them together.

"Have," Nayuki corrected, guiding his horse over a fallen branch. "All couples do. No one is perfect. I'm not; he's isn't…we aren't. But, when you care about someone enough to be intimate with them, you care about them enough to work through all of that together. Sometimes it's small things, sometimes it's big things, but you still work through them all."

"Mmm…"

Kazahaya was lost in thoughts about Rikuo. _I wonder if he feels like I'm a problem worth working through…or just a problem. _

"Kazahaya…" Nayuki spoke, as if uncertain. "There's something I want to tell you…but I'm supposed to keep it a secret...for now. I wanted to tell you yesterday, actually, but I didn't see you."

Kazahaya glanced at him, curious. "What is it?"

Nayuki opened his mouth, but instead of his voice, Kazahaya heard a dull thud; something hard struck the boy in the head, spinning him. He crashed out of the saddle, unconscious, to the ground below. The mare spooked and ran; the colt's corpse slipped off her back, landing with a horrible, wet sound.

Kazahaya's own horse reared; he managed to hold on long enough as it came down to find a good footing to leap off. "Nayuki!" He ran to the boy, crouching down to turn him over, when he heard the thrumming sound of an arrow go whizzing by; it caught his horse in the throat. The animal tried to scream, a hideous, gurgling noise as it choked, blood flecking its nostrils at it slumped to the ground.

"Nayuki!" Kazahaya began to panic, shaking the boy. "Nayuki, you have to wake up!"

Something hard struck his skull, a small ball of iron flung from a sling; he was briefly aware of something hot and wet sliding down his neck, something that smelled like copper. Kazahaya collapsed, unconscious over the boy, as shadows emerged from the trees.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: I'm not sure what the correct conduct is regarding signaling dark stuff in a fic rated M, but just in case, dark stuff ahead.**

* * *

><p>When Kazahaya awoke again with a dull ache in his temple, it was to discover that the day had faded away into the night. <em>How long have I been sleeping…and where am I…?<em>

He was in a part of the forest he'd never visited before, somewhere deep, judging by the thickness of the foliage. Moss, needles, leaves, and dirt cushioned his face. He tried to sit up and nearly wretched; the world became a spinning haze of inky blacks and streaks of firelight. Somewhere, far behind him, he could make out the shapes of horses huddled and roped together.

Somebody spoke with a voice that seemed to come from far away. He managed to push himself up again, groggy.

There were four men total, their faces obscured by the flickering light of a small fire. They were discussing something in low tones, but at the sound of twigs snapping under him as he moved, they looked up.

Kazahaya felt sick; to his right, Nayuki was stirring, coughing.

One of the men rose and walked over, staring down at them.

"Slaves?" He grunted.

Kazahaya nodded.

The man turned and went back to the others; they were discussing something, pointing at them.

_They're going to kidnap and sell us…_The realization came with an icy grip that stopped his heart. Beside him, Nayuki had pushed himself up, wiping blood away from his dried temple with his shirt sleeves.

"Kazahaya," he whispered in the dark, "You're bleeding."

He reached up and felt the back of his head gingerly; the blood, crusted in his hair, flaked off. He felt as if he was in another world, living another life. _This can't be real…what if I touched something and this is just a memory…_

Even as he thought it, he knew it to be false.

The men turned and approached; one each grabbed Nayuki and Kazahaya, dragging them to their feet. Rough hands ripped at their clothes, tossing them into the fire. His captor drew both his arms back until his elbows were nearly touching, a new pain searing his shoulderblades.

Kazahaya glanced sidelong at Nayuki; the boy wouldn't meet his eyes. It was as if Nayuki had fallen into a state of shock, unable to speak or cry out. Kazahaya was panicking inside, but his mind could only stupidly repeat _this is bad…this is bad…_in a silent, useless repetition, as if his thoughts alone could make everything to change.

Shadows splashed like dark ink across the ground, thrown by the firelight. One of the men moved to the fire, unsheathing a dagger. He turned the metal over the flickering flames slowly, watching it glint and heat. He conversed with the fourth man, their eyes crawling on Kazahaya's skin.

"We ought to have killed them."

"_He _grabbed them. Now we can't let them go."

"No, we could still kill them, like the others."

"We could just as soon sell them and make more money. We dragged them this far."

"We won't get much for labor – they're not much in the way of size."

"No," the other one said, thoughtful as he turned his knife. "I was thinking sell them for pleasure. Geldings fetch high prices."

"And neither of them are geldings," his partner muttered.

"It's harder to find one than make one," his partner replied. "Or two."

"Let's do just one and keep our options open. Which one?"

Fear closed around his heart; Kazahaya watched, the world seeming to slow, as the men looked at the two of them with utter indifference. "The small one, with the dark hair."

His fate had been decided in the time it took to breathe; he watched as the man holding Nayuki dragged him forward, shoving him to the ground.

_Nayuki! _He tried to yell for him, but his voice was paralyzed in his throat. The bigger man straddled the boy, pulling his legs open. Kazahaya watched as Nayuki's head rolled in the dirt to stare at him; his eyes were strangely distant, his mind already retreating inside of itself.

The man who had been heating his knife came forward now. _Fight, Nayuki – do something! _He thought it even as he realized there was nothing that could be done; Nayuki didn't have the strength to overpower three armed men. The man knelt and grasped Nayuki's manhood, yanking it up, out of the way, and Kazahaya was forced to watch as Nayuki winced at his touch.

The knife slid down, cutting through his flesh even as the heated metal cauterized the wound. Kazahaya watched in horror as Nayuki's eyes widened, as if to scream, but no one sound came out; his skin went white, eyes rolling back, knocked unconscious from the pain.

The man rose and tossed Nayuki's flesh unceremoniously into the fire. He glanced down at the castrated boy, told the men to bind him and leave him, and set his gaze on Kazahaya. "What should we do with that one?"

"First we need to get his collar off so no one can identify him. What did the other one have to mark him?"

"I didn't see anything on the other one…"

"There was a necklace, in his clothes. That might have been it."

The man advanced toward him. "How do you take the collar off?"

Kazahaya blinked stupidly; he voice refused to work at all. The smell of burning flesh was turning his stomach over.

The man holding him spoke, his voice next to his ear. "There's a lock back here. You'd need a key – looks too thick to break. He's stuck with it."

The man shrugged. "I doubt anyone will mind too much; we'll just have to sell him a ways away from here." He turned away. "So, we've made double what we set out for. Let's have a drink."

The other three men turned away as his captor bound his hands behind his back, kicking him to the ground. They continued to speak of things Kazahaya could no longer process; his thoughts were elsewhere, on the man who was now touching his hair, lifting it away in a manner that reminded him of Rikuo. _Rikuo, _he thought desperately, _please…_

"You care about this one all too much?" The man yelled to his companions; they had seated themselves by the fire, close to the unconscious boy. "Since we're just gonna sell him?"

"Not particularly," a voice called back. "Just watch it."

He grunted and shoved Kazahaya onto his stomach in the dirt; _gloves, _he thought, suddenly grateful at the feeling of rough leather dragging down his spine, _he's wearing gloves. _

It would have been better, he thought, if the man had taunted him, mocked him, or was especially cruel. He was none of those things; his touch was disinterested, and even the way he pushed Kazahaya's knees under him, drawing his back up toward his legs, spoke of use with little care.

The whimper escaped him before he could stop it; he bit down hard on his tongue, hating himself; _Nayuki didn't make a sound, even as…even as…_

"There, there, kitten," the man said, almost kindly. "At least you didn't end up like the other one."

The pain robbed him of his other senses; he could no more taste the dirt in his mouth than he could hear the crackling of the fire just a few feet away. A white hot pain burned through him as the man rent his flesh, hands curling around his chest, digging painfully into his ribs as the man thrust into him. He knew why Nayuki hadn't screamed; the pain was too great to allow him enough air to even breathe. His lungs burned with the same ferocity as his lower body; he could feel blood on his thighs, smell the coppery tang of it in the air.

How long it lasted, Kazahaya didn't know – it might have been seconds, or minutes, or days. He felt the man release inside him, poisoning him. He watched the man's boots walk away from him, over to the fire, and willed his mind to focus on the searing fire in his body; the pain was the only thing keeping him afloat in his mind, away from the emotion – cold, dispassionate emptiness – that the man had left behind in him. He didn't want to lose himself to that, even if it met lying, gasping in the dirt, the sticky feeling of blood and semen between his legs.

They were drinking heavily to celebrate their catch; the night wore on before the two men who had decided Nayuki's fate came over to him, blinking down at him.

"I heard him call you 'kitten.' That's cute," the one spoke. The other moved behind him, grabbing him by the collar. Kazahaya gasped in pain as he pulled him upright into his lap, fondling his member even as he shoved his own inside him. He cried out, and the other man stepped closer, undoing his belt.

"Is that mouth only good at making sounds, 'kitten'?" He slipped the belt through the collar and yanked his face up, one hand slipping behind his head, pressing his mouth to his erection. His instinct told him to bite; _you'll die! _His own voice screamed at him. _You can't let them kill you. You have to save Nayuki…save yourself…_

He tried not to gag as the man shoved himself down his throat, but his body spasmed involuntarily, betraying him. The man behind him chuckled in his ear, mistaking his movement for pleasure, and rubbed him harder. It would have been easy to lose himself to either of the men's touch, to escape to some dark world of memories or feelings not his own, and submerge himself so deep in his mind that he could forget about where he was or what was happening to him.

_You can't – don't let yourself – not here! _He'd never been able to fight against it before; the only time he had successfully pulled out of the dream-like state had been with Rikuo, when Rikuo's pleasure had turned into his pain, when he had pressed too hard and too fast into him…

_Rikuo. _His heart broke; _I'm sorry…I'm late again…_

He held onto his pain until his mind was struggling to comprehend it, numbing itself to his body's agony. The man grasping his head let go; his member had gone flaccid, too drunk to come. He shuffled back to the campfire, done. Kazahaya gasped again for air, his voice breaking as the man behind him rammed into him, thrusting harder with each push. Kazahaya could feel his wrists rubbing against the rope that bound his hands, the friction loosening the knot as the man's body rubbed against them. Finally, he came inside him and left him crumpled and bleeding on the ground as he, too, walked away.

Kazahaya could see the stars above him from where he lay; he tried to focus on them and watch their slow trek across the sky as the night drew on, his wrists working behind his back at the loosened rope. Hours had passed, the stars moving slowly across the sky, before he managed to tug his hand through, careful to remain still: the men were huddled near the embers of the spent fire, seemingly asleep. Nayuki still remained on the ground where they had left him, pale and unconscious.

Kazahaya rose slowly, his body aching. A twig snapped under his hand; he froze, terrified, but none of the men stirred.

_Stand up, Kazahaya…come on…_ He stood up on shaking legs, his body protesting; every step, restrained and as quiet as possible, felt like a shard of burning glass cutting him open from the inside. Tears stung at his eyes; he blinked them away, moving quietly forward to the horses.

_Just get one of the horses…you can ride…_ He didn't know how he'd find the strength to drag himself up into a saddle or ride, but the animals refused to give him a chance to find out; their nostrils widened, smelling the blood on him, and began to stomp, threatening to rear. Kazahaya backed up, afraid to work them into a frenzy; the sound would surely wake the men.

Nayuki's bundle of clothes was on the ground. He crouched down, biting down on his own tongue to keep from crying out in pain. There, in the folds of his shirt, lay the necklace with the ring. _They didn't even take it – it's gold, and it's worthless compared to the price of us. _Bitterness rose up in him; he wanted to wretch until his stomach was empty, but still he resolved himself, grabbing the chain, careful not to touch the ring itself. He moved quietly toward Nayuki, his eyes trained on the men; they had drunken themselves into a soundless sleep.

_Should I wake him…_ No; it was better that he remained unconscious for as long as he could, better to not have to wake up and face his new reality. Kazahaya bent down again, his body on fire, and slipped the necklace around the boy. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that his body was in shock, and it was that shock that he had to hold on to – it was all that gave him the strength to hoist Nayuki up, over his shoulder, to just barely manage to bear his weight, even as his own body was breaking. Blood, fresh and slick, was sliding down his thighs in the cool night air.

Still, nothing had prepared him for the touch; Nayuki's naked body was slung over him, and that pain – the pain that Kazahaya could not imagine – moved into him, the freshest memory in the boy. It knocked the wind out of him; he stumbled in the darkness, heaving against a tree.

_It won't be dark forever. You've got to move! Keep moving! _

The feeling of the hot knife cutting him burned through his body, mingling with his own pain, as Kazahaya stumbled through the dark. _I won't die here, _he thought. _I can't…I have to keep going… _If he were to put Nayuki down, he wouldn't have to feel that torture anymore; he could move quicker, instead of this agonizingly slow pace…_I can't leave him. I WON'T leave him! _

The darkness began to fade as he walked, ebbing away as his body came out of shock. He had thought the pain horrible before; each step toward daybreak brought increasingly unmanageable waves of agony. His body was shaking, his mind failing him. He had finally had to stop, let Nayuki slip off of him, and vomit until he was dry heaving, his body empty. It had taken all his willpower to pick Nayuki back up again after the brief respite and feel his pain strike him like a bolt of lightning.

_Keep going. _He'd been repeating it to himself for hours now as he shuffled through the forest. _You can't die here. _

He could hear something. He stopped, his heart pounding. The shouting of men – _where? Behind me? In front? _His arms wrapped around Nayuki's legs, tighter. _I'm sorry…I tried…_

It was the sound of the horses' hooves thundering into the ground that finally brought him to his knees; his legs buckled, collapsing beneath him. Nayuki fell from him, a still form in the twigs. Another sound, the snapping of dogs' jowls, made him look up.

_Dogs…the thieves didn't have dogs…_

His eyes relayed the image, but his mind refused to believe him; Rikuo and Mukofujiwara had ridden up, three men behind them, hounds coupled behind the horses. He hadn't remembered that people could move so fast; one second they were astride their mounts, the next they were each coming toward them, their eyes matching pairs of disbelief.

Rikuo reached him first. He fell to his knees, tearing off his cloak and wrapping him it, drawing him close. Kazahaya shuddered and tried to pull away, but his body was too spent to fight back.

"Kaza – what happened – tell me..."

Rikuo followed his gaze, stunned into silence. Mukofujiwara was pulling Nayuki up into his arms, his face dark. They could see Nayuki's wound.

Rikuo's face whipped back to him; he pulled the cloak off Kazahaya and stared at him, taking him in with his eyes. Kazahaya wanted to die; _anything _to not have Rikuo look at him like that, to not feel the way his eyes lingered on the blood on his legs, his feet.

Rikuo didn't speak; he wrapped Kazahaya back in the cloak, and before he could protest, had swept him up into his arms. The men they had brought had dismounted, waiting for orders.

Kazahaya felt himself passed off to one of them; the feel of an unfamiliar pair of arms stirred up a fresh panic. "Master," he managed, his voice strangled and foreign to his ears.

Rikuo flinched. He remounted, turning his horse to the man. "Pass him up."

There was a brief moment of weightlessness, and then Rikuo was pressing his head against his chest, holding him. "Don't say that anymore," he whispered. He wouldn't meet Kazahaya's eyes, or look down at him. Instead, his gaze was fixed into the forest from where he had come. "I'm just…Rikuo."

"What now?" The man on the ground pointed into the trees. "Dawn's about to break. What should we do?"

It was Mukofujiwara who spoke; he drew his steed in close, his voice low with a barely controlled rage. "Uncouple the hounds." He looked at the slather that had gathered around the dogs' jaws as they strained at their bindings. "We need to return and get them help. Find the men who did this."

Rikuo spoke to the others. "For every limb your dogs tear off, I'll pay you double for your services. Do you understand?" They nodded. "See to it that the hounds are well fed."

The last thing Kazahaya heard before he slipped into unconscious was the sound of padded feet and claws scrambling through the underbrush.


	14. Chapter 14

**Author's Note: Updated my profile, but I'll put it here, too: I'm going out of town for the weekend, so instead of one by one, I'm posting the final three chapters and epilogue tonight! ****Please enjoy! **

It had been hard, at first, to get Kazahaya to let the doctor near him; where he found the strength to fight, Rikuo couldn't imagine, but fight he did, until finally, gasping, he lost consciousness, collapsing on his bed.

Rikuo stood back and watched as the doctor sent for two nurses; people he had never met were suddenly in his room, and the cloying smell of medicine mixing with the scent of blood made him ill. They tilted Kazahaya's head back, spooning in some liquid to keep him asleep, while the doctor sterilized a needle for stitches. He was fighting a powerful urge to wretch; turning away, Rikuo stepped outside the room.

Mukofujiwara was there, waiting outside.

"How's Nayuki?" His voice was distant, hollow.

The man turned to him, his face carefully expressionless. "He's alive."

Rikuo nodded stiffly. Morning had brought news of the thieves' deaths; he had expected it wouldn't help him feel any better.

It didn't.

"There's something I need to talk to you about."

Rikuo's mind was off somewhere dark, somewhere where guilt lived, cruel and vile, eating away at his insides. He turned to Mukofujiwara, only half listening. "Yes?"

"It's about Kazahaya."

Rikuo pulled himself out of his thoughts. Mukofujiwara frowned. "Nayuki…Nayuki owes his life to him. He would be dead if it weren't for what Kazahaya did. Or worse." _He might end up dead _because_ of what he did, _Rikuo thought, but didn't speak. Mukofujiwara continued. "Rikuo…I came here to tell you something." He paused, as if he had thought of too many different ways to say what he needed to say, yet was still unable to phrase it quite right. When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet. "I freed Nayuki two days ago."

Rikuo stared at him impassively; he didn't understand why he was telling him this. He knew that Mukofujiwara cared for Nayuki, probably the same way he cared for Kazahaya…Kazahaya, who had saved his life…

Rikuo remembered a night not long ago, only a day or so ago, really, when he had sat up at night, trying to think about what to do with Kazahaya. _He doesn't have to be your slave, _he had thought. _There's two ways to let him go, but the one you can do…you could set him free…_But Rikuo hadn't, and thought he never could; now, he never would. Kazahaya was lost to him.

"He saved the life of a free man." Mukofujiwara looked at him levelly now. "By rights, you know what that means."

"…He…he saved Nayuki's life…Yes…" He felt numb, unable to speak. "Yes," he repeated again, dumbly. Mukofujiwara was looking at him, waiting for some sort of response – _what do I say? What now… _He opened his mouth to respond, but stopped; a nurse leaned out the doorway, motioning for him to come back inside.

"Wait here." Mukofujiwara nodded.

They had cleaned Kazahaya, his arms resting lifeless above the sheets, his hair damp on Rikuo's pillow. The doctor was rubbing a towel over his hands, frowning. He dismissed the nurses, who gathered his belongings, slipping through the doorway.

"He's yours?"

Rikuo nodded stiffly. "Yes." _No, _his own voice reminded him. _Not anymore. He doesn't belong to you anymore. He's free of me now._ "How badly hurt is he?"

The doctor explained in distant tones; he had left sleeping draughts that would work for a while, but cautioned that he couldn't use the drugs for too long. "He needs bed rest. The draughts should keep him under for a day or two, but after that, he needs to lie still. He aggravated his wounds severally. If it becomes infected or leads to blood poisoning, he'll die."

Rikuo said nothing.

"If I may be blunt with you…" The doctor turned to him. "While I don't know what his use was for, I would suggest selling him. I've seen this sort of thing before; they don't recover well."

"Sell him?" Rage uncoiled in his gut. He rounded on the man, furious. "_Sell him?_"

The old man was taken aback. "I – he's your slave, isn't he?"

Rikuo pushed past him, striding to the dresser. He fished inside, shoving aside clothes and parchment and the leash, until he found what he was looking for. Another stride brought him to Kazahaya's side, the key slipping into the collar around his neck, _click_ing. It fell off into Rikuo's hands; he threw it against the wall, where it collided with a lamp in a furious crash, shattering glass shards onto the floor.

The doctor stepped back, alarmed.

"No, he's not a slave." Rikuo's voice was shaking with anger. "He saved the life of a free man – that's how he 'aggravated' his wounds." He bit off the words, furious. "He's _free_."

"I see." The doctor was edging toward the door quickly, sweat on his brow. "Then, I – send for me if you need me." He hurried out the doorway, leaving Rikuo next to Kazahaya's still form.

Mukofujiwara stepped inside, too quietly for Rikuo to notice. He walked over to the bed, staring down at the boy.

"Are you angry at me?"

"_You?_" Rikuo laughed, a hollow, mirthless sound. "No…not you. Just myself."

"You might have freed him someday. I think you would have." The still air hung between them. Rikuo didn't speak as Mukofujiwara continued. "But I know you didn't want it to happen this way. This was out of your control – all of it…and I know that's the most frustrating part of all.

"Nayuki is in good hands," he said at length, continuing. "There's nothing I can do for him while he sleeps, but soon…like your Kazahaya…he'll have to wake up. But not yet. If there is anything I can do for you…to help you…"

"Yes." Rikuo looked up; their gaze met. "There is."

* * *

><p>It seemed as if he lived in a world of perpetually changing dreams, though it had taken Kazahaya days – <em>or was it only minutes? <em>– to discover that. He had wandered around in the gardens for ages, it felt like, looking for Rikuo…but he was alone. It was a beautiful world, filled with bright sunlight and spring scents, but it was lonely.

_It's not real. This is just a memory… _He recognized Rikuo's memory of the gardens at his father's estate, the sprawling acres where he would ride out to lose himself… _Did we come here? We were supposed to leave soon…no, it's the same as last time…I must be sleeping in Rikuo's bed._

It was a reasonable thought; he'd experienced this dream often enough. It was just a matter of waiting for it to lift and wake up again…

The colors lifted away after what felt like an eternity, the greens of the trees dissolving into the blackness of a dim room, the orange of a lamp burning on the edge of his vision. The peacefulness of that world was forgotten as he became dimly aware of an ache in his body…an ache that escalated until he was dizzy with the force of it. He tried to sit up; a pain shot through his body like a hot whip. He cried out, eyes wide with panic now.

"Rikuo!" He gasped. He clutched at the sheets, his heart pounding. "_Why_?" His heart was racing; how did he end up like this – _what's wrong with me? _

Rikuo was there suddenly; Kazahaya could just make out his face, the way his mouth was set in a grim frown, his eyes resolutely looking away. "Rikuo," he tried again, but something was being forced into hand; gloved fingers were curling around his own, pressing something into his palm –

The dim world disappeared, replaced by a new world of colors and warmth. He was seated by a fireplace, and snow was falling outside a window of a drawing room he was certain he'd never been in before…

_A memory. A strong one…_ Kazahaya sat next to the fire, feeling its warmth wash over him until his skin tingled from its gentle heat, feeling someone else's desire to go out and play in the snow. _Why am I here…why wouldn't Rikuo look at me…what's going on…_

* * *

><p>Mukofujiwara hadn't asked for an explanation; he had only nodded and set out to do the task Rikuo had asked of him, returning hours later with a small sack filled with items that jostled against one another. If he had wondered about their purpose, he hadn't asked about them as he left. He had only wished him well and shut the door behind him.<p>

Rikuo had abandoned using the sleeping drought; he didn't want to risk seeing Kazahaya trapped in a world of nightmares.

The boy was stirring; Rikuo had grown used to the signs. His breathing would change, thin white fingers curling into the sheets. The first time he had woken up, he had cried out in pain – _I was too slow, _he thought. He uncurled Kazahaya's fist, drawing out the brooch, fishing out another trinket to place into his palm. _Go ask everyone you know for something important to them, _he had told Mukofujiwara. _They'll get it back. Tell them it has to be something very meaningful…something connected with a good memory. Their favorite memories. Get me as many as you can. _How many memories could he shove Kazahaya down into before he would have to let him wake up? He pressed the boy's fingers around a necklace now, listening to his breathing change, his face relax. Rikuo watched him sleep; sooner or later, in those different worlds, Kazahaya would figure out what was going on. _Just keep him out of his own head…out of his own body. Just focus on that._

Another day passed, and Rikuo found himself faced with a hard decision. Kazahaya was waking up; his hand was twitching, his lips pressed tightly together. Sweat was shining on his forehead. Rikuo looked at the bowl of thin broth on the bedside table and thought, for a moment, that it wasn't too late to put something new in Kazahaya's hands, push him back away from reality…

_His body needs to heal. He has to keep his strength up…_ _Kazahaya, I'm sorry…_

The boy was groaning now, gasping. His too-big eyes opened, glazed, blinking rapidly as they tried to adjust.

"Rikuo." His voice was thin, uncertain.

Rikuo slipped an arm around his shoulders gently, pulling him up just enough to rest his head against the back of his arm. Kazahaya went white, gasping with pain, but still he fought against it, struggling to speak.

"_Why_," he managed, his body trembling on the bed, "Why…why are you wearing gloves…what's happened…"

Rikuo reached for the bowl, lifting it to Kazahaya's lips.

"Rikuo –"

"Drink." His voice felt raw with the effort of fighting his own emotion.

Kazahaya let him slide the broth into him obediently, gasping as he was lowered onto the bed. Before he could speak again, Rikuo had pressed a ribbon into his hand, closing his fist tightly over it.

Kazahaya relaxed and fell asleep once more.

* * *

><p>Another two days passed before Rikuo was certain that Kazahaya had remembered what happened. <em>He's fighting against it, <em>he thought. Before, Kazahaya would sleep for six hours before emerging from someone's memory…the lengths were growing shorter and shorter. The last bout had only lasted for two hours before he woke, crying out for Nayuki.

"Where is he?" His eyes were wild, desperate.

"He's alright." Rikuo tried to sound soothing, but failed. "Go back to sleep." He moved to grasp his hand, but Kazahaya jerked it away pathetically, his eyes flashing.

"Rikuo –" Kazahaya's voice broke as Rikuo moved closer. "I know what you're doing – _please, _let me stay with you – _stop_ - !"

_I'm such a fucking coward…_He had already unfurled that weak hand, and Kazahaya was already slipping away, bewildered and angry. _He had the courage to save more than just his own life…and I don't even have the courage to watch him suffer. _Rikuo was growing more accustomed to hating himself with every minute that he stayed by Kazahaya's side; the feeling was so intense that it choked the words "I'm sorry" in his throat every time he tried to whisper them to Kazahaya. _You're 'sorry,' _his own voice mocked him in his head. _How touching. _The only thing he appreciated was the sense he had had to put his riding gloves on; Kazahaya didn't need to feel those emotions. _He's already feeling too much…_

He didn't realize he had fallen asleep, his head pressed into his folded hands on the bed, until Kazahaya's movements woke him. He was furious with himself; he hadn't slept in days – what did it matter to stay awake any longer?

"Stop moving," he tried, but the boy was struggling to sit up all the same.

"I have to – go –" He gasped, collapsing down. He reached up and pressed his palms into his eyes, biting down on his lip. "_It hurts…_so badly…"

"You need to lie still." Afer days, he didn't have many items left from what Mukofujiwara had brought him; he was rummaging in the sack when Kazahaya's hands fell weakly to his side.

"No," he said. His voice was small. "Rikuo, I have to go…I need to…"

"You don't need to go anywhere." His voice was clipped.

Kazahaya shook his head; tears stood unshed, fettered by his eyelashes. "No, you don't – you don't understand…I have to _go…_but it hurts to move…"

Rikuo stopped as he understood what Kazahaya was saying. _You're always too embarrassed to just say what you mean._ "Can you wait a few minutes?"

Kazahaya had closed his eyes, unable to look at him. "I can try."

Rikuo moved as quickly as he could; in the end, he had managed to track down an empty goatskin bag used for holding cheap wine. When he finally returned, Kazahaya was clutching the sheets again, his eyes firmly shut.

Rikuo slipped the bag under the sheets, placing the boy's member inside.

"Go ahead."

The sob nearly broke him; Rikuo felt as though someone had punched him, hard, in the stomach. Kazahaya shook his head.

"No." His voice cracked feebly.

Rikuo tried to make himself sound assertive, calm, but his voice failed him. "It's okay," he whispered. "It's nothing."

Kazahaya cried silently as he pissed, his thin frame shaking with anger and pain. When he was done, Rikuo closed the bag and cleaned him.

"Are you in much pain?"

Kazahaya opened his eyes and looked at him, just looked at him, until Rikuo had to turn away.

"Where is the collar…"

"I took it off."

"…Why?"

Rikuo forced himself to turn back and look into his eyes. "You saved Nayuki's life. Mukofujiwara freed Nayuki two days ago."

He watched Kazahaya's face change, puzzling it out; the moment he realized he was free, his eyes, already too large, widened.

"…I'm free…" A bitter laugh, short and caustic, escaped him. Kazahaya let his head fall back onto the pillow, sinking back into sleep.

* * *

><p>Rikuo could no longer bring himself to face Kazahaya; three days ago he had hired two nurses to take care of him, explaining that it was important not to make skin contact with him. If the women wondered at the strange command, they didn't question it.<p>

He thought about what Mukofujiwara had said; _would you have really set him free? Eventually? No – because you're a coward. You think he'd want to be with you if he didn't have to? _

_He doesn't have to now, _he thought. His mind became his greatest enemy, reminding him, as he sat in the commons, waiting for Kakei and Saiga to arrive after sending for them, of every horrible thing he'd done to the boy, culminating with making him touch the manacle.

_So he ran away from you… _Rikuo had gone to the manor, thinking to start searching for him there.

He'd felt sick when a single horse came screaming through the orchard, blood on its saddle.

_And how do you feel now? Any better yet? You haven't spoken to him in three days now. You walk in to get a change of clothes, and he looks at you, and you know he's looking at you…and you don't say anything._

_I don't have the right to speak to him, _he thought. _'I'm sorry' isn't good enough. I don't have the right to look at him, let alone touch him. He doesn't need to feel this…_

"Rikuo." He felt a hand on his shoulder; he turned to find Kakei standing there, Saiga behind him, his face sad. "We came as quickly as we could."

He nodded as they sat down. He'd explained as much as he could in the letter; he didn't think he'd be able to talk about it in person.

Saiga crossed his arms over his chest. "What can we do?"

"I've set up an account for Kazahaya to provide him with enough money to live comfortably for at least a year." His voice sounded oddly formal. "I would be grateful if you would allow him to return and live with you long enough for him to get on his own feet."

"You're leaving him?" Saiga gave him a long, level look.

It was Kakei he spoke to when he answered, "It's better for him this way."

Saiga's reply was swift with disapproval. "I don't think he'll agree."

Kakei sighed. "If your mind is made up, then…yes. We'll do this. I don't understand everything that's happened, why you would leave him after this…but if that's your decision, we'll respect it, for Kazahaya's sake. When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow, at dawn."

They looked at each other; some understanding passed between the two of them. "We'll wait to visit him until you leave, then."

Rikuo thanked them and left, wandering aimlessly in an effort to outpace his thoughts. That evening, he waited until he knew Kazahaya would be sleeping and slipped inside as quietly as he could, packing his things. For a moment, he thought he heard the boy stir, felt his eyes on him in the dark. He ignored the feeling and paused only in the doorway, his hand resting on the wall.

_I'm sorry, _he wanted to say. _I'm sorry for everything I did to you…for how I treated you. For what happened to you. I've failed you. You deserve someone better. Hate me and move on with your life. _At the very least, he tried to say goodbye, but even that much caught in his throat. Cursing himself, Rikuo left, closing the door behind him resolutely, and rode off with the daylight.


	15. Chapter 15

Two months had passed since Rikuo returned to his father's estate, to a life of quiet boredom and guilt. He had enough money to do whatever he pleased; he did nothing.

Nothing, except ride out each morning into the gardens, watching the leaves change slowly with each day into yellows, oranges, and a few rare reds. The leaves were on the precipice of falling; a cold spell or a strong wind might kick off the autumn proper, he thought, but the sunlight itself was still warm, the weather cool.

He had had no word from Kazahaya, and he had, likewise, sent no word to him, resolved to let the boy hate him, despise him even, if it meant giving him something to hold onto enough to get his life together. _You were just too afraid to face his judgment. That's all it was. You don't have to pretend to be noble. _

He'd thought about Kazahaya every day, waiting to forget him, little by little, instead finding that he thought of him constantly, worrying about him, thinking of what he might be doing, why he was standing in his orchards in a brown, trimmed doublet, panting…

The horse snorted at his scent. Rikuo blinked hard, shaking his head, but the image didn't disappear.

After two months, Kazahaya was really standing, not twenty feet away, catching his breath. The hair on the side of his face, once boyish, was now past his chin, ruffled by the breeze.

Rikuo dismounted and stood in front of him, unsure of what to say, still unsure if what he was seeing was even real. Part of him wanted to step forward, grab Kazahaya and pull him close, just hold him and not let go…and a stronger part, a part of him that choked the air in his lungs, kept him rooted to the spot, silent and still, with a self-loathing so powerful he felt like he'd had the wind knocked out of him.

Kazahaya stood there, in some ways exactly the same the first time Rikuo had met him. His eyes were still too big, like a cat's…but everything else had changed. He was shaking, his thin, wiry arms trembling with an anger that burned in the clenched fists at his side.

_"Rikuo._" His name felt like a whip; Kazahaya bit down on it through clenched teeth.

He wanted to reply, say something, _anything…_even his name. _Don't you dare say his name, _he thought. He only stared back, frozen.

Kazahaya stepped forward; his entire frame shook from an anger that made his voice break. "You're a fucking prick."

"I know."

"You _know_?" He jeered at him; Rikuo felt his stomach turn over. Kazahaya had never _jeered _at anyone, _anything _before…especially not him. "You _know?_" He repeated, incredulous. "I can't believe you. I can't believe what you did. Do you know how long it took me to _find _this place? You didn't even tell Kakei. Or _Saiga._ You just disappeared."

Rikuo felt the horse's reigns fall limply out of his hands. "I'm sorry." The words came out wooden and hollow, a shadow of the emotion he felt.

"You're _sorry_?" One fist uncurled; shaking, he brushed his hair out of his face. Rikuo felt his hand twitch; he wanted to reach out and brush his bangs away, touch the corner of his eyes, where angry tears had begun to well, and wipe them away.

He didn't move.

"You're sorry." Kazahaya glared at him. "You're sorry about _what_?"

His face burned. "About what happened to you…because of what I did to you…"

"You fucking left me, that's what you did!" His words came lashing at him, pained and indignant. "And you had the – the _audacity _– to…to leave me _money, _like some common…some _whore _you paid off…"

"_Whore_? Kaza, that's not –"

"Don't call me that!" His eyes flashed with his fury, but the tears had spilled out now, making him angrier at his own weakness. His voice dropped, wounded, his pain no less fierce. "You just left me. No goodbye….nothing. And I get it, I guess," he said suddenly, and Rikuo felt his heart break; Kazahaya's body had slackened. He was rubbing at his face hurriedly, scrubbing his tears away with his knuckles even as more slid out from the corners. "But I guess, I thought…I thought maybe...oh, fuck it, you're such an asshole." His words came out half-heartedly.

Rikuo took a tentative step forward. "Kazahaza, I left you because I didn't want to hurt you anymore…"

His spirit came back to him; he looked up through glazed eyes and gave a bitter laugh. "You don't have to lie to me. You just didn't want to fuck me after someone else already had."

Before, Rikuo felt as if he'd been slapped; now, he felt as if he'd been stabbed. A small well of anger bubbled up inside him. "You think….you think I _what?_"

"Oh, don't look so surprised I know." Kazahaya rolled his eyes. "After all that, just to have me snatched away from you – that must have been a big disappointment." The boy's act of cold indifference began to fail him again. "I just don't understand…why…why you just couldn't have…I mean, if you were going to fuck me, couldn't you have just done it sooner, before…" His voice broke again.

"Kazahaya, listen to me." His arm had moved on its own accord like a foreign limb, his fingertips touching the boy's shoulder. Kazahaya knocked it away violently, stepping back.

"No, you listen to me, _Rikuo,_" he hissed. "I came here to tell you that you can have your money back. I don't want it. And to let you know that everything you did to me – everything you did just because you _could _– was _wrong. _You think just because you had the power to do all that, that made it right? It _wasn't_! So when you buy someone new, if you haven't already, and you start your little games all over again, I hope you feel like the prick you are. Fuck you, Rikuo." He turned away to go.

Rikuo reached out, grabbing him by the wrist.

_"Let go of me!"_

"No." He pulled him around. "I didn't leave you because I didn't want to fuck you. What the hell would even make you think that?" His composure was gone; his own voice was shaking now; he despised himself more at the look of fear and contempt in Kazahaya's eyes. He held onto his wrist tighter. _This is it, _he told himself, _this is the last time you'll ever see him. Say what you need to say. _"I left you because I knew what a prick I'd been – and you're right. What I did – everything I did to you – was wrong. If I had known…that things were going to happen the way they did, and you…that would happen to you…I would have never done any of that."

"Of course not." Kazahaya was yanking at his arm, furious. "You would have just fucked me and been done with it."

"I might be a fucking asshole, but you're a goddamn _idiot_!" He held on tighter, preparing for a fight. "I would have treated you the way you deserved to be treated, and only if you wanted to, I wouldn't have 'fucked' you – I would have made love to you, you moron!" Kazahaya's free hand stung a blow across his face, scratching his cheek with his nails. "I left you because if I hadn't made you touch that thing, you wouldn't have run away, and none of that would have happened!" He winced; Kazahaya had kicked him, hard, in the shin. "I left you money so you could go start whatever life you wanted, because I care about you, Kazahaya!"

"You care about me?" He stopped struggling, and Rikuo watched as his eyes filled with tears again. "You _care_ about me? Then why wouldn't you touch me?"

"Touch you? Kazahaya -!"

The boy's knees buckled; he dropped to the ground. "I mean afterwards, when I was in your bed," he whispered. Tears fell freely to the earth beneath him, his eyes locked on the grass. "You wouldn't touch me, like I was some sort of dirty, broken thing…that's what you think, isn't it?" He looked up into Rikuo's dark eyes. "You didn't even want me to be awake with you. Well, you know what? You're wrong. My life didn't end that day; I'm not broken. I'm _hurt, _but I'm alive. I'm _me._" It was true; he could see the familiar fire burning, however faintly, in his eyes. "I'm still alive…but you wouldn't even touch me. You wouldn't even look at me. And I…I didn't run away."

"You what?"

"I didn't run away," he repeated. A tired hand wiped away the tears from his face. "That day, I went to go visit Nayuki. I was going to be back on time and everything. I wasn't running away from you. I guess you could say I finally learned my lesson." He laughed, as if the thought was funny.

Rikuo reached out and embraced him, pulling him tightly to his chest. This time, Kazahaya didn't fight.

"I didn't touch you because I didn't want you to suffer anymore."

"I was already suffering. I'm _still_ suffering."

"I know. But that was your pain…and I helped cause it. If I could have touched you and lived it for you, I would have. You were hurting so much… I didn't want you to feel what I was feeling."

Kazahaya pushed away to look at him. "I don't understand."

Rikuo sighed. He pulled off his riding glove slowly, staring at his own flesh, and cringed. "I'm sorry," he said again, "But I want you to understand…"

He reached out and gently touched his face, letting his own palm rest against his cheek. He didn't need to see the way Kazahaya's eyes widened with pain or shock to know what he was feeling. Mostly, it was guilt, a leaden, hollow feeling that reminded him day after day, _moment by moment, _of how he had mistreated the one person he cared about the most. His own self-hatred came next, choking him, reminding him, _always, _in the back of his mind, about how he hadn't been there – he, who could have saved Kazahaya, had instead found him, bloodied and half-dead.

Helplessness followed, the helplessness he felt watching Kazahaya's hands curl into the sheets, his forehead glazed with sweat as he cried out in his sleep. Fear followed fast; would Kazahaya hate him now? He had every right to. Fine, he could hate him – but would he get better? Physically, he would heal, but his heart – would that, too, mend? A sadness so deep he felt himself drowning in it every day washed upon him, reminding him of how he had squandered his time with him, and ultimately failed him. It was the sadness that hurt the most, in some ways: it was what had made him leave him. _Do it for him, _it had said, _and let him live his life without you now. It'll be better for him this way. He'll only hate you – and you only deserve it._

He pulled his hand away. Kazahaya sat, dumbfounded, before he spoke.

"Touch me again."

"No." He moved to put the glove back on; he wanted to retreat to somewhere dark and sit, alone.

Kazahaya reached out and took his hand, concentrating. Rikuo's heart leapt involuntarily at the boy's touch, and Kazahaya's brow furrowed.

"Rikuo, you…" He seemed to be struggling to find the right words.

"_I'm sorry,_" he whispered. His own hand felt somehow weak in Kazahaya's grip. "I treated you terribly, because I wanted you so badly." Knowing this was the last time he would speak to Kazahaya made the words rush out. "You wouldn't have stayed with me if I didn't own you. I was afraid you would run away from me... I could have freed you at any time, but then you would have left. That doesn't make it right; it just makes me…it makes me weak. And I wasn't there, in the end. I couldn't help you, and I can't make it right. I didn't want you to have to feel any of that, because the way I felt watching you hurt like that was nothing – _is _nothing – compared to how you feel now…"

"Rikuo…" Kazahaya was still holding his hand, but his eyes were staring at him curiously, blinking in disbelief. "I feel…I can feel all of that…"

"I'm sorry." No matter how many times he said it, it still felt meaningless compared to the depth of his feelings.

"No, but there's more…Rikuo you…" For the third time, Kazahaya's eyes filled with tears, but he didn't seem to notice. "Rikuo…you…you…_love _me…?"

It wasn't until he heard the word spoken that he knew that it was true; it was as if a key had slipped into the right lock, and he felt a sudden surge of emotion so powerful that it overwhelmed him. He leaned forward and kissed him, his heart beating too fast as their lips met.

"Yea," he gasped, pulling away. "Yea, I love you, Kazahaya."

His eyes held a misty, distant gaze of understanding. "That's why you didn't touch me."

"Yea."

"That's why you left me."

"Yea."

He blinked, and the mist cleared. "And you call _me _the fucking idiot…"

And just like a cat, he leapt into his arms, and the two fell backward into the grass, holding onto one another, as the horse wandered away under the autumn leaves.

It was some time before they spoke again, content to remain in each other's arms.

"How did you get here?" Rikuo finally asked. He was lying on his back, his arms wrapped around Kazahaya, the boy's face buried in his chest.

"I rode," came a muffled reply. "My horse is back near the house."

"How did you find me out here?"

"I've walked around in these gardens so many times, I could navigate them with my eyes closed." Kazahaya sat up suddenly, looking off into the distance the way he had come. "…I had planned on leaving. Today. I didn't really pack much. Do you think…maybe, if you don't mind… I could stay for a little while?"

Rikuo stared; this morning he had been lonely and miserable, and now…

"You can stay as long as you want."

"Okay, but I'm not your slave." Kazahaya shoved his hands into his lap and turned back around, glaring at him pointedly. "Got it?"

"Yes."

"You can't treat me like one."

"I won't. Ever."

He was suddenly nervous. "….Did you get a new one…?"

Rikuo reached forward and brought him back into an embrace. "The only one I ever bought was you, because it was _you. _I have staff that I pay who have their own quarters."

Kazahaya squirmed, suspicious. "And how many of them have you slept with?"

"_None._"

"Not that it's my business."

Rikuo lifted his hair away from his eyes. "The only person I wanted to sleep with was you."

He sensed a change immediately; Kazahaya drew back, not quickly, but away all the same, not meeting his eyes. "Can we go back to the house?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Yes." Rikuo helped him stand. "I'll get the horses and show you around, and…Kazahaya…"

"Mm?"

Rikuo reached out for his hand. He held onto it, feeling the warmth of his skin, and allowed himself a rare, small smile.

"I'm glad you're here."


	16. Chapter 16

Showing Kazahaya the estate was easy, a superfluous activity to fall into that allowed him to forget about their history and pretend, in the easy way he took him from room to room, that he was a friend stopping by, a person he didn't share a past with now.

"My quarters," he said evasively, pointing down a long hallway, shuffling him along.

"It's weird to think that you've been here all this time…" Kazahaya looked around, craning his head to stare up at tall, paneled walls.

"How did you even find the place?"

"I told you, the gardens." Kazahaya stopped, pointing at them through a window. "They were so _big, _and I remembered all the details…I just kept hunting for a place that could accommodate them, and eventually I found my way here. And by the way," he added, his eyes flashing, "Saiga is _pissed. _You should send him a letter, you know."

"I will." He tried not to smile at Kazahaya; it was almost easy to forget what had happened to him. _Almost…_it was the details that revealed him, like the way Rikuo's arm brushed against his, and the way Kazahaya had pulled away instinctually.

"You can stay here." He brought him to a guestroom. "Or wherever you like. There's other rooms."

"This is fine."

"Then…would you join me for dinner?" Kazahaya nodded.

With just the two of them, awkwardness settled around them. Rikuo wasn't sure what to say; Kazahaya didn't know how to act. They ate largely in silence, the tension heavy around them, until it was time for them to retire.

Kazahaya stood awkwardly, waiting as if to say something, but unsure of what. Rikuo stepped forward.

"Kazahaya…I…" He sighed. Rikuo kissed him softly on the forehead and stepped back. "Goodnight."

As he lay in bed, sleepless in the night, Rikuo reminded himself that _love _didn't always mean _having. _

_Just because you love him doesn't mean you can keep him…what now? He stays for a few days, and then leaves? He'll probably leave tomorrow. _

His mind worked for hours, racing around in circles until a knock came at the door.

Startled, Rikuo sat up, lighting a lamp. "Come in," he called.

The door opened slowly; Kazahaya peered inside, fidgeting.

"Can I come in?"

"I just said you could."

The boy stepped inside and shut the door; he was wearing a nightshirt and linen pants. "I can't sleep."

"Neither can I."

Kazahaya stood, shifting from foot to foot. "Should I sit somewhere?" There were arm chairs about the room, a wardrobe, a dresser, a lounge and chest – it was much bigger than the cramped quarters at the court.

"Sit anywhere you like."

Kazahaya stood for another minute, contemplating something, and moved forward, sitting on the bed. Rikuo sat up straight now, studying his expression.

"…Kazahaya…is there something you want to talk about?"

"I talked to Kakei and Saiga," he blurted out without meeting his eyes. He was speaking in a rush now, his words tumbling over one another. "I asked Saiga to help me. It took me days to get up the courage to bring it up, to ask him, and when I did, he just laughed at me and said no. He wasn't making fun of me, it wasn't like that, but still…"

"Help you?"

Kazahaya blushed. _He can still blush, _he thought, and for some reason, it made him almost hopeful.

"Help me…to be with you. If you would still have me. To l-love you." Rikuo was staring at him, shocked. "Don't look at me like that! You're the one who told me about their work in the first place. I thought I hated you – really, really hated you – but then I'd think about you, and why I thought you left… When Saiga said no, I went to Kakei, and do you know what he said? 'Well, I always knew you'd find out what we did eventually.' _Eventually! _They were never going to tell me! And I even offered to pay him…" He trailed off. "Kakei said no."

"Why would you even consider that in the first place?" Rikuo's eyes burned into him; Kazahaya looked into them, then away.

"Because I thought…I thought that you thought I was worthless, afterwards. I wanted to prove you wrong. I was so angry at you. I wanted to show up here, and we'd – well, we'd do _that_ – and I'd be the best you'd ever had. You'd regret leaving me, and I'd tell you to piss off and leave _you, _so you could see how it feels."

"So you propositioned Saiga and Kakei to… teach you?" Rikuo couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Are you really that stupid?"

Weary, Kazahaya hung his head. "That was just part of it. I just wanted to feel whole again. I didn't want to be broken, and I thought…if I can do this, it'll be like it never happened."

Rikuo reached out and touched his face, his fingers moving up through his hair. "You're really stupid. _Astoundingly _dumb." Kazahaya looked up; his tone was affectionate. "At least Kakei and Saiga have some sense." He leaned in and kissed him softly, feeling the tentative way that Kazahaya hesitated, then kissed him back.

They pulled apart. Kazahaya looked back down at the floor.

"So…can we?"

"Can we what?"

"Can we do _that_?"

The question took him by surprise. "Here – and now? With me? But…I…" It was too surreal; Rikuo found himself at a loss for words.

Kazahaya flushed, but his eyes remained fixed on the floor. "Y-yes," he stammered. "If you want to. Or not. Forget it, I won't be any good, and I –"

Rikuo kissed him again, muffling his words; Kazahaya jumped, startled, but kissed back all the same. Rikuo drew him close, turning and pushing him down carefully onto his back, running his hands through Kazahaya's soft hair as he slid his tongue past trembling lips.

Kazahaya pushed him up with shaking arms. "Rikuo…I'm nervous."

"I know."

"I'm sorry…"

"There's nothing to be sorry about." He leaned down and kissed his neck, felt his thin limbs trapped below him, and was reminded again how small Kazahaya was compared to him. How fragile. He soothed him as best as he knew how, touching him gently with the very edge of his fingertips under his clothes, moving slowly, his senses attuned to every sound the boy made.

Rikuo could feel his own hardness pressing against pants. He leaned in, kissing Kazahaya's earlobe. "Tell me what to do," he said. "You're in charge."

"M-me?" Kazahaya's eyes fluttered open. "I don't know what to do…"

"Then I'll ask permission. May I take off your shirt?"

"…Okay…"

He lifted it off him, his hands running over his bare flesh now. His tongue found one of his nipples and traced slow circles around the tender flesh, both hands lifting him up by the small of his back. He sat up, pulling Kazahaya with him up into his lap, and pulled one leg around him. Kazahaya slipped his other leg around, and Rikuo shuddered with pleasure; this was what it felt like, _finally, _to have Kazahaya's legs wrapped around his waist…

"Can you feel me?" Rikuo's voice sounded strange to him, huskier.

In his arms, Kazahaya shivered. "You're hard," he said; Rikuo could hear the various shades of emotion in his voice: dread, expectation, excitement, fear. Mostly fear.

"Are you?"

"…Not yet…" He could feel the way Kazahaya's heart was pounding against him, so close to his own chest. "It's been harder for me, to…to get…"

Rikuo moved back down so that he didn't have to finish; Kazahaya flung an arm across his face, biting his lip as Rikuo kissed down his chest, unbuttoning his pants.

"May I take your pants off?" He whispered. His fingers were hooked over the waistline, pressing against bare flesh. Kazahaya nodded, eyes shut tight; Rikuo stripped them off and sat back, peeling his own shirt off. Kazahaya opened one eye, peeking at him, and Rikuo turned away quickly to hide his smirk and rose, walking to a chest at the far end of the room. He returned with a sealed clay jar; Kazahaya watched apprehensively as he unstopped the lid and reached inside.

"It's just oil," he explained. He wanted to laugh at the way Kazahaya blanched. "It's specifically for skin – _not _cooking." The smell of lilacs perfumed the air as Rikuo started with his foot, grasping it with both hands, applying pressure to the arch. Kazahaya sighed.

"Try to relax," he said again. "We won't do anything you don't want to. We can stop any time."

Kazahaya's face flushed, but he nodded all the same. The scented oil was making his skin tingle with heat as Rikuo moved up, massaging his calf, his knee, his thigh…

"Can I turn you over?" Rikuo asked, his hands resting on the boy's hips.

"No." Something dark flickered in Kazahaya's eyes. "I don't want to be on my stomach. I like this."

Rikuo nodded and silently pulled his leg up over his shoulder, leaning down. _Just like before, _he thought, and took him in his mouth, using his tongue to slide along his length, pulling back to kiss his inner thighs.

"I can feel what you want to do." Kazahaya's voice, strained, surprised him; _of course he knows, _he thought. He was touching him, after all. "…Go ahead. Just…slowly, okay?"

His fingers coated in oil, Rikuo slowly penetrated him, his eyes trained on Kazahaya's face. He gasped, his back arching, eyes closed.

"Is this okay?"

"Y-yes…okay…"

He pushed in deeper, his lips finding his member once more. Kazahaya groaned, a deep flush settling over his body. Rikuo felt his member stiffen in his mouth; he sucked on the head, his tongue pressing against the delicate slit, and withdrew. His tongue moved from the base of his cock to the tip, licking his length as he gently moved in and out of the boy, Kazahaya's moaning electrifying him.

"This is two." He pressed in as far as he could, down to the base of his hand. Kazahaya grasped the sheets, panting. "Can I add more?"

"Yes…" Rikuo sat up, drawing Kazahaya's legs up with him, tilting him onto his back; he pressed a third digit into him, the boy's trembling body vibrating against him.

"Is this okay?" He repeated.

Kazahaya opened his mouth to speak, but only managed a jagged intake of breath. He settled for a quick nod.

Rikuo reached forward and began to stroke him, bringing his hand up over the top to rub the head with his thumb. He moved slowly, pacing himself as he felt Kazahaya's body relax and tense alternatively. His muscle was tight around his fingers, but his shivering had changed; sweat stood out on his forehead, and he bucked into his thrusts.

"Kaza." He slowed, then stopped. "Are you ready?"

"R-ready?" Glazed eyes opened, unable to focus. "Oh. _Oh. _I…yes…"

Rikuo withdrew his hand slowly; Kazahaya flinched when he was through, his eyes wide and watching now as Rikuo moved over him, kissing his forehead.

"I don't know what to do." Kazahaya's voice bordered on panic. "Rikuo, what should I do?"

"Just trust me. That's all you have to do."

Huge eyes stared at up at him, unblinking. Kazahaya bit his lip again, harder, and nodded.

Rikuo pulled one leg up, hooking it under his arm. "This will be easier if you roll on your side. But whatever you want –"

Kazahaya allowed himself to turn sideways; Rikuo remained upright, pulling the boy's left leg up toward his chest. He pressed himself forward, his tip pressing against Kazahaya's entrance, and pushed through the resisting muscle. The head was the hardest part; it passed inside with a sudden, quick movement, and Rikuo, groaning, felt himself lost to the tight heat of Kazahaya's body.

Below him, Kazahaya gasped as Rikuo thrust carefully. He leaned down over him, pressing his own chest against his side, drawing his leg up. Rikuo grasped his cock, stroking it as he moved more quickly, confidence bolstered by the sudden expression on Kazahaya's face; the boy's wide eyes had opened and rolled back before falling closed again, his arms slackening as a slow, quiet moan slipped through his lips.

Kazahaya cried out as he came onto the sheets, his body shaking. Rikuo felt his muscle constrict around his cock in tight, rapid convulsions; his own vision was swimming from the blood in his temples.

"Kaza," he gasped, "hold onto me."

"Huh?" His eyes opened slowly. Rikuo felt himself enflamed by the way the boy licked his lips absently. "_R-Rikuo!"_

Rikuo had reached under him, wrapped his arm around his torso, and tightened, sinking down onto his back as he pulled Kazahaya up, straddling him. He exhaled one long, contented sigh of pleasure, his eyes drinking in the way Kazahaya looked riding on top of him.

Kazahaya put his shaking hands down on Rikuo's chest, holding himself up. "What…now what?"

"You do it." Rikuo reached out and let his hands rest on his hips; he'd imagined this so many times, his mind was reeling with the inability to process its reality. "You're in charge."

"But what do I _do_?" He sputtered, lost.

Rikuo bucked up; Kazahaya jumped, as if electrified, his face coloring.

"Just do whatever you want."

Kazahaya swallowed, his face clouded with concentration as he pressed the flat of his palms against Rikuo and pushed up. He gasped, surprised, and let himself sink back down. Rikuo groaned; the heat, the friction, the movement…he wouldn't last long. Kazahaya watched, curious, and moved slowly, drawing himself up and sliding down, entranced by Rikuo's expressions and sounds.

"If I keep doing this, will you cum?"

"Yea," he grunted, twitching. _Kazahaya is a fucking tease, and he doesn't even know it…_ He was moving so _slowly, _it was torturing him; his nerve endings were on fire, but that tight heat only pulsed hotter around his cock as he gasped, gripping the boy's hips.

"I think…I think I'd like that…"

He opened his eyes to find Kazahaya leaning down, his hands sliding up his chest. The boy dug his knees into the sheets, finding a rhythm. He kissed Rikuo's chest nervously, licking him; Rikuo stared at him in disbelief before his head fell back onto the pillow. His hips betrayed him; he began thrusting up into the boy as Kazahaya pushed himself down, the two moving together until he was overcome. He reared up, kissing him fiercely as he threw Kazahaya onto his back, unable to control himself any longer. Each movement was accompanied by a new sound of pleasure; Kazahaya reached up, his hands gripping Rikuo's short hair, and arched his body up into his, thin legs snaking around his thighs.

"Kaza," he gasped. "I'm going to – can I – _fuck _– is it okay –" He couldn't form the words, but Kazahaya pressed his hands against his skin and knew what he wanted to ask.

"Yes," he whispered, kissing his neck. "Please."

Rikuo came, his body convulsing with the force of it, and collapsed to the side, gasping. Next to him, Kazahaya was tugging at his arm, lifting it, wriggling under…he chuckled, his head still buzzing, and slipped his arm around the boy, pulling him close until his back was pressed against his stomach. It all felt like a dream.

"…Rikuo…?"

"Mm?"

"…Can we sleep like this?"

"You sure you want to sleep?" He kissed the back of his neck. "We could do that again…differently. We didn't talk about it, but…you know…you can do this…like I did." He was still trying to catch his breath, to focus on that very real body next to him, and convince himself that everything was really happening.

Kazahaya squirmed, turning around to face him, his head pressed under his chin. "You mean...me…going into you?"

"Try not to make it sound so sexy," he smirked. "Yea, that's what I mean."

"Have you ever done it that way?"

"No," he admitted. "But…it's not fair for me to expect you to do that, but not the other way around."

"Ah…" He could actually _feel _the heat of Kazahaya's blush. The boy rested his hands against his chest, pushing him back a little so that they could see each other's eyes. "Don't be freaked out…but…"

"…But?"

His face was scarlet. "I got really nervous when you first – you know. Oh, _you know! _Don't look at me like that." He rolled his eyes furiously. "So I didn't want to stop you, so I just…might have…only a little bit…"

Understanding began to dawn on him: Kazahaya's eyes had been closed most of the time they had sex…

"You _channeled _me?"

"Just a little! Not the whole time!" He was flustered, grabbing for words. "It wasn't easy, either. I sort of moved back and forth between us…"

"So now you know what it's like to have sex with yourself. Great." He rolled onto his back, shaking his head in disbelief at the whole thing.

Kazahaya pressed up against his side, his face falling in the niche formed by his arm and shoulder. "So…we don't need to do it the other way. I liked this way."

"And even if you wanted to, you could just channel what I'm feeling, so you can have it both ways. At the same time." Rikuo laughed. "I've got one hell of a weird lover."

"…I'm your lover?"

He opened his eyes and rolled over, lifting his chin up to his face. He kissed his mouth, sweetly, deepening it, pulling it away to stare into eyes too big bordered by the most delicate eyelashes he'd ever seen. "Yea. If you want to be."

"…Can I be your boyfriend?"

"You can be whatever you want, as long as you stay here." He wrapped him in his arms, holding him.

"For how long?"

"As long as you want," Rikuo said. He held him close, breathing in his scent, his body relaxing. They closed their eyes, falling asleep as the lamp slowly faded into the night.

**Epilogue to follow.**


	17. Epilogue

**Epilogue **

"Kazahaya, we don't have time for this!"

"We do _too!_"

Kazahaya shoved him into their room; Rikuo might have been bigger, but Kazahaya was faster, and he had an added advantage: Rikuo never fought back. The boy had already worked Rikuo's shirt up over his head and was fumbling with his pants. Dazzling sunlight was pouring in through the windows; outside, the gardens lay covered in a soft white blanket of snow.

Three months had passed, three months of learning and living with one another. Autumn had slipped into a frosty winter; Kazahaya, who was perpetually cold, had discovered the quickest way to warm himself up was with body heat - someone _else's _body heat.

"Mukofujiwara will be here – soon – and – Nayuki – we don't – have - _time!_"

Kazahaya had worked off his pants, nibbling at his cock. Rikuo fell backwards onto the bed as his boyfriend wriggled on top of him, grinning.

"Give me your hands!"

"What?" He gasped. "Oh – _no, _we _really _don't have time for _that_…"

It was too late; Kazahaya had grabbed Rikuo's belt off the floor, yanking it off the discarded pants, and with a malicious grin, had secured one of Rikuo's arms to the bed post, buckling it tight. The race was on; Rikuo began to fumble with the buckle to get it loose while Kazahaya yanked off his own belt.

The boy won; he grabbed Rikuo's other arm and buckled it to the opposite post, his arms stretched between him.

"Kazahaya, will you _listen _to me?"

"We have _at least _an hour." He ran his hands over Rikuo's body, tracing the muscles in his arms; his eyes were hazy, lost for a moment. "And I _know _you really want to do this. I can feel it."

"That's not fair -!" He started to protest, but Kazahaya had yanked his pants completely off, exposing him.

"See? I'm not wrong…"

Rikuo rolled his eyes; Kazahaya pulled his clothes off and climbed up, mounting him.

"I'll go slow," he whispered, winking. "I _know _how much you love it when I go slow…"

And he _did; _that was the most frustrating part. Kazahaya knew _exactly _how what it felt like because he could feel it himself…not that he always chose to. Rikuo's body ached with the tension of it; Kazahaya moved up and down his shaft, pressing him deep into that tight heat before withdrawing all the way, cool air touching him, before sliding down again.

His head fell back, helpless, lips parting to moan. "Kazahaya," he pleaded, his voice thick, "…Faster…"

"Nope!" Kazahaya beamed at him, and if he had thought it impossible, Rikuo groaned: he actually managed to slow himself down further, the muscles in his thighs contracting as he held himself up on his knees, torturing him.

"You're – cruel," he gasped. Kazahaya leaned in and kissed his chest, biting his right nipple playfully, licking and sucking at it until it was hard, and still he moved at a glacial pace, Rikuo's arms straining against the belts.

"Oh come on, you like it, I know you do. Because –"

"You can…feel…I get it…Kazahaya, _please…_"

"I have an idea!"

Rikuo cried out as Kazahaya suddenly moved completely off him, leaping off the bed. "Are you kidding me?" He yelled. "Kaza – _come on!_"

"I'm coming – I just need to get something!"

Rikuo lifted his head and groaned. Kazahaya was trotting back with a candle and a flint.

"Do we _really _have to?"

Kazahaya's response was a broad smile.

Rikuo sighed; in three months, he had never been able to refuse Kazahaya anything. It had been a strange road in the beginning; passionate nights broken by Kazahaya waking up from nightmares, cool afternoons in the autumn leaves…and over time, the boy had found himself, a new confidence, a new life.

_And a new game, _Rikuo thought. Kazahaya's favorite past time was seeing how _long _he could take to make Rikuo cum; he could no longer distinguish between ecstasy and agony at the hands of that brunette. He remembered the day Kazahaya had first slid his belt off and restrained his arms behind him, the way his hands had run over his toned body, so, so slowly. _"This is going to be a long night for you," _Kazahaya had promised. And it had only gotten longer since.

"I'm going to get you back for this," he vowed.

Kazahaya mounted him again, enjoying the way Rikuo's body tensed and trembled. "I have to let you go first."

"Eventually," he gasped, feeling Kazahaya slide down him, bucking upward, "You'll have to."

"I could tell Mukofujiwara you're sick…" He was fumbling with the flint now, readying the candle.

"…Tell them…we're both ill…we'll just stay inside…don't need to go…go riding…_ah…_K-Kaza…" His hips had twisted, pressing him deeper inside him.

Kazahaya grinned, the candlelight now reflected in his big, playful eyes. "_We'll see_," he said.

Behind them, the windows slowly fogged with the steam of their body heat as they lost themselves to each other, warm on a winter afternoon.

**Fin**

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><p><strong><strong>**Author's Note: Thanks for reading! If you made it all the way to the end (I know it takes a lot to read such a long fic) please leave a review and tell me what you think! Thank you so much for your time; I hope you enjoyed it. -TB Bacchus**


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